She let out a long sigh, eyes drifting skyward, a deep melancholy clouding her expression.
“Ah, what can I say? This gracious Director has a kind and beautiful heart. I suppose I’ll reluctantly help you shoulder some of the burden…”
Why did I end up with a lackey like this?
Shameless. Absolutely shameless…
Hu Tao regretted everything.
She knew Jiang Bai was thick-skinned, but she never imagined he could take it to this extreme.
What was that nonsense with him rubbing the girl’s hand!?
Does he think he’s a little kid or something?
A grown man—can he not have a shred of dignity!?
And to say it so openly, claiming he was weak or whatever—was he just not planning to leave himself any way out?
If you’re going to cry, then cry! What’s with the half-assed act?
Talking like you’ve had such a tragic life—yet you’re never injured, not even by accident!
Hu Tao mentally cursed up a storm, but her decent upbringing kept the words from ever leaving her lips.
She admitted defeat.
Fine. He wins.
The moment Hu Tao changed her tune, Jiang Bai sprang to his feet, cheering. The pitiful, depressive look from before vanished without a trace.
“Long live the Director! You’re the best! I knew you wouldn’t be that cruel!”
Qiqi’s mouth dropped open.
She didn’t really understand what had just happened, but she felt like she’d just seen something she couldn’t unsee.
Her impression of Jiang Bai shifted. That towering, impressive image she’d formed when they first met had more than half crumbled.
So it wasn’t just Hu Tao who was unhinged—it was the entire Wangsheng Funeral Parlor crew.
No way am I ending up like that. Bubu Pharmacy is still better.
Even if Dr. Baizhu had his own motives for taking her in, at least he hadn’t done anything to hurt her.
Hu Tao, now emotionally numb, showed no reaction at all to Jiang Bai’s barrage of flattery.
“Let’s go. While there’s still daylight, let’s find a good place to set up camp. We’ll be staying here a few more days…” With that, she trudged down the slope, drained.
Having a lackey like this—was both her fortune and her curse.
—
They found a suitable spot and set up camp. By then, night had fallen.
The group sat around the campfire, roasting boar meat they’d hunted during the day. The firewood crackled and popped in the flames.
“Director, wouldn’t that adeptus be able to settle all this with a single spell? Why do we have to break them one by one ourselves?”
Hu Tao flipped the meat and rolled her eyes at the idiotic question.
“Are you dumb? This is obviously a test from the True Lord!”
If the adeptus could solve it all with a snap of her fingers, why make them do it?
It was both a trial and the price they had to pay to obtain the Four Spirits of the Directions.
You can’t just get something for nothing. Why would anyone hand over a treasure to you?
Because you look nice? Because you’re buddies with an adeptus? Or because you’re somehow special?
“Oh…” Jiang Bai had only been asking.
Qiqi remained mostly silent on the way over. She wasn’t sure what to say.
Whenever she thought of something, if she wasn’t careful, she’d forget it in the next second.
“Qiqi is going to rest now.” She rose from her seat.
“Mm, rest well!” Hu Tao nodded, then added a warning, “And don’t sneak off alone tonight like you did yesterday!”
“Okay.”
Qiqi gave a small nod and crawled into her tent. She didn’t need to eat or replenish her energy with food, nor did she like the warmth of the fire.
She was about to begin her daily flexibility routine—not something she wanted anyone else to see.
Jiang Bai popped a piece of roasted meat into his mouth, savoring the rich, oily flavor.
“This wild boar’s not bad at all…”
Boars nurtured by the land’s elemental energy were a different breed—no gamey smell, no odd taste.
The meat was dense and satisfying.
Jiang Bai might not be able to swallow Hu Tao’s wild promises, but he could chew through some boar just fine.
“Boar from Springvale in Mondstadt is better,” Hu Tao disagreed.
This meat was okay, sure—but far from exceptional.
“If you ever get the chance to visit Springvale, bring back some boar. Old Man Zhongli’s best dish is a slow-simmered Xian-style Pork and Bamboo Stew.”
Hu Tao bit into her skewer and said between chews:
“Though he’s pretty picky about his ingredients. The ham has to be the kind served at Moonsea Pavilion banquets, the pork has to be fresh five-layer belly caught the same day in Springvale, and the bamboo knots must be tight spring shoots from Qingce Village… then everything has to simmer on low heat for several hours…”
As she spoke, she actually started to crave it.
Her words got Jiang Bai drooling too. “If I get the chance, I’ve got to try it.”
He’d never had a proper meal made by Zhongli, after all.
Inside the tent, Qiqi continued her stretching routine. In the firelight, her silhouette loomed large on the tent wall.
“What’s Qiqi doing in there?” Jiang Bai asked curiously.
Hu Tao had a good guess. After chasing Qiqi around so long, she’d learned a thing or two.
“Probably some way to keep her body limber…”
Jiang Bai didn’t reply.
Even as a zombie, it’s not easy trying to live well…
Same for him. Sure, Hu Tao had taken him in—he had a roof, he had food—but if he wanted Mora in his pocket, he had to bow to the tyranny of his boss lady.
Being a zombie was rough. Being an underling wasn’t any better…
And Hu Tao, as Director? She didn’t have it easy either…
After finishing his meal and brushing his teeth, Jiang Bai climbed into the coffin he’d condensed for himself, closed the lid, and drifted into sleep.
…
Morning.
The sun had yet to rise, but the light of dawn had already washed over the land.
Birds chirped and flitted about the treetops, and Qiqi was the first to emerge from her tent.
She never slept deeply and didn’t need much rest, so she always woke up at first light.
Rubbing her eyes, she looked at the large stone coffin in front of her.
It was still there.
She blinked again.
Still there.
Warily, she stepped back a few paces, a bit scared that Hu Tao might be planning to stuff her inside it.
Qiqi hated death. Naturally, she also hated coffins, which symbolized death.
She’d only been traveling with them a few days, and every night so far, Jiang Bai had slept in a tent—so she had no idea he had a thing for sleeping in coffins.
Seeing such a huge one now gave her a proper scare.
She skirted it from a distance, found a nearby stream to wash up, and squatted beside it to review her notebook.
When Hu Tao finally woke and came out of her tent, Qiqi ran over.
She pointed at the coffin and asked, “Why is there a coffin?”
“You’ll have to ask Jiang Bai.”
Hu Tao shrugged, then walked over to the coffin and flung the lid open, revealing Jiang Bai inside, fast asleep.
As sunlight poured in, Jiang Bai stirred, rolled over, and yanked the blanket over his head.
Qiqi tiptoed over, grabbed the edge of the coffin, and peeked inside. Puzzled, she asked, “Why is he sleeping in a coffin?”
In her mind, only the dead slept in coffins.
Is he dead?
“The coffin’s actually pretty comfy. Why else do you think he’s sleeping so soundly?”
—
This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
Reader discussion
0 Comments
Be the first reader to share a thought about this chapter.