Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [28]

Hu Tao watched Jiang Bai’s reaction closely, her eyes twinkling with amusement. When he finally made that face—the unmistakable look of someone utterly dumbfounded—she burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Jiang Bai asked, completely lost on what she found amusing.

“Your expression is exactly like mine when I first read that book!” Hu Tao was practically rolling with laughter.

Back then, when she spotted the book at a shop, she had assumed it was a proper travel guide about Teyvat. She had been curious about the customs of other nations and thought it would be a great read. But the moment she flipped it open—well, let’s just say she had been left at a complete loss for words.

It claimed to be a Teyvat Guide, but it was more like a journal of absurd fantasies, filled with the author’s wildest ideas. Some of them were so bizarre they were downright terrifying.

One time, while cooking outdoors and struggling to find firewood, she had just tossed the book into the flames.

“Seems like it even mentions Mr. Zhongli…”

One passage detailed Alice traveling to Jueyun Karst with Zhongli. There, she had hypothesized that if all the underground water in Jueyun Karst were to be drained, the entire floating island might sink back into the ground. Supposedly, this made Zhongli laugh.

Hu Tao waved dismissively. “Zhongli knows everything. It’s not surprising to see his name pop up.”

Jiang Bai hesitated for a moment, tempted to remind her that Zhongli was no ordinary person. But after a second thought, he kept quiet.

For Zhongli to have been Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s Consultant for so many years, and for Hu Tao to respect him as much as she did—she must have already known. She simply chose not to dig deeper.

Zhongli provided unparalleled expertise in funeral rites and historical knowledge, while the funeral parlor offered him financial support. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. As for his true identity? It didn’t matter.

For Hu Tao, as long as he didn’t explicitly reveal it, he was simply Zhongli, the esteemed consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

“But you didn’t come here just to give me a book, did you?”

“Hehe, you got me!” Hu Tao grinned mischievously. “Did you see the part about Guyun Stone Forest? That’s where we’re going!”

“Guyun Stone Forest…”

Jiang Bai recalled the book’s description of the place.

Legend had it that Rex Lapis had once impaled a god there using a massive stone spear. Over time, that very spear had formed the Guyun Stone Forest. The book also mentioned that the ley lines in the area were highly active and that the sealed god might not have truly perished.

Oh, and Zhongli was quite familiar with the legends surrounding the area.

Jiang Bai often spotted the distant islands across the sea while wandering Liyue Harbor. But they were too far away—nothing more than vague silhouettes on the horizon.

“What exactly is a god? Some kind of monster?”

“Emmm…” Hu Tao scratched her head, thinking for a moment before coming up with an explanation.

“A god isn’t really a ‘monster.’ It’s a broad term, kind of like how we call ourselves ‘humans.’ Gods, too, are called ‘Demonic Gods’—and our Lord Rex Lapis is one of them.”

Jiang Bai nodded in understanding. So, “Demonic God” was just a general term for higher beings.

“And what are we going there for?” He was definitely curious to see the stone spear left by Rex Lapis, but he still wanted to clarify their purpose.

“There are a few materials for artifact crafting that can only be found there,” Hu Tao said, pulling out a list of ingredients.

“Jade of Unyielding Earth and Xuan Rock Sand come from the Geo Hypostasis near Guyun Stone Forest. Kongtong Spirit Jade is found in Huaguang Stone Forest, and Fourfold True Essence is in Mt. Hulao.”

Jiang Bai blinked. “And… a Geo Hypostasis is?”

“It’s a monster formed entirely from elemental energy. You’ll see for yourself when we get there. They’re not easy to deal with.”

Despite saying that, Hu Tao didn’t seem too concerned—after all, Zhongli had already provided a strategy.

She spread out a map of Liyue on the table.

“First, we’ll head to Guyun Stone Forest. Then we’ll come back to rest. After that, we’ll pass through Jueyun Karst to reach Huaguang Stone Forest, and once we find Kongtong Spirit Jade, we’ll move on to Mt. Hulao.”

Liyue was massive, divided into six major regions, each with unique landscapes.

• Bishui Plain (North) – Liyue’s primary agricultural region, home to Qingce Village, the second-largest settlement in Liyue.

• Minlin (East) – A mountainous region with towering peaks and swirling mist, home to the adepti.

• Qiongji Estuary & Lisha (Central & South) – Sparse and filled with ancient ruins; once inhabited by early settlers but now mostly deserted.

• Chasm & Blackcliff Forge (Southeast) – Liyue’s mining heartlands, supplying its vast resources.

• Yunlai Sea (Southwest) – Where Liyue Harbor and Guyun Stone Forest were located.

Under Hu Tao’s guidance, Jiang Bai quickly familiarized himself with Liyue’s geography.

From the looks of it, their journey alone would take at least a week.

But instead of feeling daunted, he was excited.

Aside from his brief trip to the Statue of The Seven, he hadn’t really explored beyond Liyue Harbor. There was still so much of this world left to see.

And as for Hu Tao’s concern that he wouldn’t want to go out? That was never a problem.

He had only been holed up inside because elemental power was just too fun to mess around with.

But now that something this interesting had come up? Of course he was going!

“We’ll take a boat from Liyue Harbor to Guyun Stone Forest. The area is filled with monsters and treacherous terrain—we’ll likely be staying there for a few days.”

Hu Tao had several reasons for bringing Jiang Bai along.

First—because Zhongli had suggested it.
Second—to let him experience the wilderness firsthand. Adventurers often ventured into dangerous regions, and as Wangsheng Funeral Parlor expanded, dealing with remote areas would become unavoidable.
Third—having a travel companion. Solo trips were boring. And once they arrived, searching for materials alone would take forever.
Lastly—to train Jiang Bai. He could practice elemental power all he wanted inside Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, but real combat was the only way to gain actual experience.

Jiang Bai had no clue about all the layers of planning behind her decision.

All he knew was—he was finally going on an adventure!

Looking at the map, he noted, “The place is made up of small islands, so we’ll need a boat. We should also bring extra clothes, in case we get wet. And if we’re staying overnight, we’ll need plenty of food—maybe even a cooking pot. I have no idea if there’s any fresh water on the islands, so we should pack extra water skins too.”

As he listed off necessities, he quickly realized—there was way too much to carry.

He already knew how to summon and dismiss weapons, and he could shape stone into makeshift shelters.

But food?

Yeah, he couldn’t just create that out of thin air.

And making a stone boat?

Not happening. Rocks don’t float.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!