Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [269]

Hu Tao had noticed something strange about Jiang Bai recently.

He’d started running off to Mr. Zhongli’s courtyard at dawn every day, keeping this up for two or three days straight.

Not only that—he followed Zhongli wherever he went, shadowing his every move.

When Zhongli went bird-walking, Jiang Bai carried the cage. When Zhongli went to the opera, Jiang Bai massaged his shoulders. And when Zhongli visited restaurants, Jiang Bai served tea and dishes like a diligent attendant.

He had practically become Zhongli’s personal servant.

After following them for an entire day, Hu Tao couldn’t wrap her head around it.

Although Ningguang had imposed a strict gag order regarding Rex Lapis’s death, preventing news from spreading, those of them who witnessed it knew exactly what had happened.

At a time like this, when Rex Lapis has supposedly been assassinated, why aren’t these two investigating or worrying about it? Instead, they’re leisurely strolling the streets and attending the opera every day!

Just what hold does Zhongli have on Jiang Bai that he’s become so obedient—like a personal attendant?

Unable to contain her curiosity any longer, Hu Tao approached Jiang Bai from behind and tapped him on the shoulder.

Jiang Bai’s life these past few days was completely different from what he’d imagined.

He’d anticipated Zhongli ordering him to plot with the Fatui, or spread rumors about Rex Lapis’s assassination throughout Liyue to discredit the Qixing. He’d imagined grand conspiracies, power struggles, and dramatic upheavals, ultimately positioning Zhongli to rule all of Liyue.

Yet reality was utterly mundane.

No conspiracies, no plotting. Instead, it was just leisurely bird-walking, operas, tea drinking, shopping, and tasting new dishes—while using Jiang Bai as his servant every step of the way.

Yet Jiang Bai remained convinced Zhongli was secretly communicating with his hidden forces through subtle, undetectable signals: perhaps tapping the table or the teacup at specific intervals.

After all, if Zhongli truly intended to become Liyue’s next ruler, he must’ve planned meticulously for a long time, complete with a sophisticated underground organization and network of spies.

And Jiang Bai, who had unwillingly been roped into this scheme, was obviously not trusted yet. Only after Zhongli’s thorough scrutiny might Jiang Bai catch a glimpse of his secret organization.

Suddenly feeling a tap on his shoulder startled Jiang Bai out of his spiraling thoughts, causing him to whirl around warily.

Seeing Hu Tao standing there, he immediately relaxed.

“You’re acting suspicious. Extremely suspicious,” Hu Tao said, her brows knitted together tightly enough to crush a mosquito.

Jiang Bai’s strange reaction just now, coupled with his odd behavior over the last few days, clearly indicated something was off.

Zhongli briefly glanced over, then returned his attention to the opera.

Scratching his head nervously, Jiang Bai feigned innocence. “Am I?”

Hu Tao crossed her arms, eyeing him suspiciously from head to toe. “Just what kind of dirt does the old man have on you, huh? To make you follow him around like his personal servant every day? And I’ve been tailing you all day—how did you not even notice me?”

“Huh?” Jiang Bai stared blankly.

Hu Tao had been following him all day?

His attention had been entirely focused on Zhongli, carefully watching every move. No wonder he hadn’t noticed anything else.

Seeing Jiang Bai’s dumbfounded expression, Hu Tao shot Zhongli an accusing glare.

Just look at what you’ve done to my subordinate! After just a few days, you’ve practically turned him into a fool!

“What’s he blackmailing you with? Just say the word, and your Director will set things right!”

Hearing Hu Tao’s declaration, Jiang Bai felt deeply moved. All his humiliation was worth it if it meant protecting her!

“Director, you’re wrong about me.” Zhongli calmly set down his teacup, putting on an innocent expression. “I’m merely a humble consultant. How could I possibly order him around? He’s the one asking something of me. If you don’t believe me, ask him yourself.”

Jiang Bai nearly choked at Zhongli’s blatant lie.

This man really has no shame! He’s clearly using Hu Tao as leverage, yet he acts like he’s done nothing at all! What a schemer!

When Hu Tao turned back toward Jiang Bai, he immediately composed himself, nodding obediently.

“Yes, Director. It’s true, I’m the one asking Mr. Zhongli for help.”

“What help could you possibly need from him that your director can’t give you?” Hu Tao demanded, hands on her hips, clearly affronted.

“Uh, well…” Jiang Bai scrambled to think of a believable excuse, but before he could, Zhongli smoothly interjected.

“He wants to become my disciple,” Zhongli stated lightly, sipping his tea.

Jiang Bai: !!!

I never said that! Don’t just make up things about me!

Hu Tao: !!!

Her eyes brightened, and she proudly patted Jiang Bai’s shoulder. “Not bad, not bad at all! You’ve finally realized our consultant’s true worth! Becoming a disciple takes sincere devotion.”

Satisfied, she walked away with her hands behind her back, completely unaware of Jiang Bai’s horrified expression.

Jiang Bai shot Zhongli a furious glare.

Since when did I ever ask to be your disciple?! Now that Hu Tao knows, there’s no way out of this! You cunning old fox—you’ve trapped me again!

Seeing Jiang Bai’s barely contained rage, Zhongli merely raised an eyebrow, silently challenging him: What can you possibly do about it?

Countless people had begged Zhongli to take them as disciples over the centuries, yet he’d accepted none. Now he finally felt inclined to take one—and the man was acting reluctant!

Though, watching Jiang Bai helplessly bow to his demands was admittedly quite amusing.

“Since you wish to become my disciple, you must naturally prepare a proper tribute. Have you prepared one?”

“When did I say I wanted to become your disciple?” Jiang Bai asked, almost laughing at Zhongli’s shamelessness.

Ignoring his protests, Zhongli continued leisurely, “Oh? You’ve already prepared the Mora then, I assume?”

Jiang Bai clenched his fists in frustration.

“However, my requirements for a disciple’s tribute are quite strict,” Zhongli continued with utter seriousness.

“You must fulfill the Six Traditional Offerings precisely: the dried meat must come from a wild boar’s hind leg from Springvale. The celery must be the most tender sprout freshly picked from Qingce Village fields.

“The dried longan must come from perfectly ripened Jade-Like Longan fruits. Lotus seeds must be harvested from fresh blossoms in the ponds north of Mt. Aocang. The dates must be plucked directly from the oldest jujube trees in Dihua Marsh, and the red beans must be wild ones gathered atop Mt. Tianheng.”

“And then there’s the ceremonial tea—which is even more particular. You must collect fresh morning dew from Glaze Lilies every dawn for seven consecutive days, then use it to brew tea with the youngest leaves from the ancient Tea Ancestral Tree enshrined at Qiaoying Village.”

“Even Rex Lapis himself wouldn’t demand this much!” Jiang Bai slammed his fist onto the table in frustration. “You’re not even an Archon, yet you dare demand such outrageous rituals!”

Aside from how insanely complicated these requirements were, the ceremonial tea was utterly absurd. How could anyone possibly collect leaves from the revered Tea Ancestral Tree? Let alone gathering dew from Glaze Lilies for a whole week?

Why doesn’t this old fox just demand I climb up to Celestia instead?!

Watching Jiang Bai’s impotent fury, Zhongli smiled leisurely. “Whether you become my disciple or not entirely depends on your sincerity. I’ll be sure to report your progress to the Director.”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!