Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [67]

The stone walls dissolved into elemental energy, revealing Hu Tao—now fully dressed and back to her lively self, save for her slightly damp hair.

“Hand me two fish. I shall personally conduct their cremation ceremony!”

Jiang Bai promptly passed over two fish. “Yes, yes! Let these fish witness the might of our Director Hu!”

“The might of Director Hu is too overwhelming for the average person. I’m frail—may I be allowed to cook my own?” Jiang Bai rubbed his hands together, tactfully hinting at his request.

“Granted!” Hu Tao waved her hand grandly, feeling magnanimous.

As the sky darkened, Jiang Bai buried the bird eggs in the fire while the two of them sat around the flames, roasting their fish. Qiqi, disliking the fire, rested her chin on her hands a little farther away, watching them cook.

When it came to food she planned to eat herself, Hu Tao was surprisingly normal—at least she didn’t add any strange seasonings.

The fire crackled softly, and under the heat, the fish gradually shriveled, turning a golden brown as a fragrant aroma filled the air. Even the bit of dramatic flair Jiang Bai had picked up earlier quickly faded away.

“Qiqi, do you want some?” Jiang Bai glanced over.

Qiqi slowly shook her head. She didn’t need food to sustain her strength.

They were alive. Climbing had tired them out, and food was scarce—better they eat it themselves.

She picked up two Qingxin flowers she had set aside earlier, placed them next to Hu Tao, then distanced herself again. Under Hu Tao’s puzzled gaze, she said:

“For sneezing—eat this.”

Her notebook said so. Qingxin is medicine. It cures coughs, sneezes, and colds.

Hu Tao froze, her expression suddenly complicated.

She forgets things so easily and even dislikes me… yet she still thought about making sure I don’t get sick.

How am I supposed to bring myself to do anything to her now?

“…Thanks. I’ll eat it.”

She accepted the gesture.

The night deepened, and the wind howled through the mountains. Fortunately, Jiang Bai had chosen a spot sheltered from the wind, keeping them from being too exposed.

The fire crackled, sparks flickering in the dim light. Sitting beside it, Hu Tao hesitated for a moment before biting into the Qingxin.

“I heard that mountain hermits live on morning dew and Qingxin flowers. But how is this even edible?”

It was bitter—especially eaten raw. It felt like chewing on a mouthful of lotus seed cores, and she wasn’t used to it at all.

But what if the wind really did give her a cold?

Besides, Qiqi had given it to her with good intentions—she couldn’t just ignore it, right?

Seeing Hu Tao’s face scrunch up in discomfort, Jiang Bai, curious, plucked a petal and popped it into his mouth.

The moment the bitterness hit his tongue, he spat it out.

“Anyone who can survive on this must be a legend.”

Eating flowers as a staple? How many would you even have to eat to feel full?

Hu Tao forced down both flowers like swallowing a bitter pill and moved on to her grilled fish.

The moment she took a bite—scalding!

She sucked in a breath, fanning her mouth frantically. A tiny ghost materialized from her body, flapping its little hands in an attempt to cool her down. But being incorporeal, it couldn’t generate wind, leaving it flailing uselessly—a sight that was almost painfully adorable.

Jiang Bai, completely unbothered, burst out laughing.

“What are you laughing at?” Hu Tao shot him a glare.

Was eating fish funny now?

“N-Nothing!” Seeing her dangerous gaze, Jiang Bai quickly waved his hands in surrender. “It’s just—the little ghost was so cute, that’s why I laughed! I swear I wasn’t laughing at Director Hu getting burned!”

The little ghost, hearing Jiang Bai call it cute, pouted and crossed its arms, trying to imitate Hu Tao’s angry expression.

It was supposed to be a fearsome envoy of the underworld! Not cute!

“…Really?” Hu Tao was skeptical.

“Really! I swear!” Jiang Bai raised a hand solemnly. “I swear to the heavens—I absolutely wasn’t laughing at Director Hu—”

BOOM!

Before he could finish, a deafening thunderclap shook the sky.

Jiang Bai’s hand snapped back down as if electrocuted, his eyes darting toward the pitch-black heavens in shock.

I was just swearing! I hadn’t even finished! Why the hell did it thunder?!

Hu Tao smirked, giving him a look of pure disdain.

“Well, well, look at that—even the heavens couldn’t stand it.”

Jiang Bai gave an awkward chuckle and hurriedly changed the subject. “Uh—look at all those storm clouds. The weather’s about to turn. Let’s eat quickly before it rains.”

Mountain weather could change in an instant—one moment clear skies, the next, a sudden downpour.

Hu Tao let it slide, too hungry to argue. In just a few quick bites, she devoured her two fish clean.

Then, pulling out a rainproof tarp and a large umbrella from her storage ring, she called out to Qiqi, searching for a high, dry spot to set up their tent.

If only there were a cave—then they wouldn’t have to worry about the rain at all.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, flashes of lightning splitting the sky.

Realizing the rain was about to pour, Jiang Bai shoved the roasted bird eggs into his coat and hurried away from the low ground.

The downpour came fast and heavy. The tent wasn’t even fully set up before Jiang Bai quickly formed a sturdy, box-shaped stone shelter around them using Geo energy.

Inside, pitch darkness. Only the sound of rain hammering the ground could be heard outside.

Thankfully, Hu Tao pulled out a light source, solving their temporary blindness.

“…Your ability is seriously useful,” Hu Tao remarked.

It made her want a Geo Vision herself. It was basically a must-have for travel—need a shelter? Just make one on the spot, windproof and waterproof.

Jiang Bai grinned smugly.

With an ability like his, he had yet to meet another person who could do the same.

…Though if Zhongli could summon a whole palace with a wave of his hand, Jiang Bai would have to admit defeat.

“How long will this stone shelter last?” Hu Tao suddenly asked.

“…Uh.” Jiang Bai hesitated.

A stone coffin he made could last ten hours—enough for a full night’s sleep.

But this stone house was way bigger. How long it could hold was… uncertain. If the rain lasted all night, they’d still get soaked eventually.

“…Three hours, at most.” Jiang Bai gave a conservative estimate.

“Then hurry up and finish setting up the tent.”

Hu Tao rolled her eyes.

With how cocky he was earlier, she thought it’d last way longer. Only three hours?

Tents were far more reliable—as long as they stayed up, they wouldn’t disappear.

She clapped Jiang Bai’s shoulder, speaking in a serious, expectant tone:

“You need to train harder. If you can make the stone shelter last a whole night, we’ll never have to set up a tent again!”

With his boss giving him a personal assignment, Jiang Bai could only nod obediently.

And tonight, he had no chance of sleeping in his coffin. If he had to maintain the stone house, he definitely didn’t have the energy to make another one.

“…Director Hu, do you have any extra tents? If not, the three of us will have to squeeze into one.”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!