Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [322]

Zhongli chuckled again. “It seems you’ve finally developed the essential curiosity of an adventurer.”

Jiang Bai shrugged. “Exploration’s just a side job. I already have a main profession. Adventure’s something I’ll do in my spare time.”

There’s a saying: The more you know, the faster you die.

But there was also a follow-up to that saying:

The less you know, the less you’ll understand about your own death.

If he wanted any say in how he’d meet his end, ignoring these mysteries wasn’t an option.

“Speaking of which, who do you think that voice belonged to?” Jiang Bai was still puzzled by it.

A complicated expression crossed Zhongli’s face. “There are certain things that, once you learn of them, they also become aware of you.”

“Huh?” Jiang Bai rubbed the goosebumps rising on his arms. “Could you say something a little less creepy?”

Zhongli continued, ignoring his discomfort. “For now, it might be safer for you not to know whose voice that was.”

Jiang Bai knew Zhongli never spoke idly. If he was putting it this gravely, the reality was probably far worse.

After all, whatever it was had already reached out to him—even though he knew nothing about it.

“Fine, fine,” Jiang Bai surrendered immediately.

If that voice could only reach him through a special energy field, it probably couldn’t harm him here in Liyue Harbor. If prying too deeply invited it straight to his doorstep, ignorance was undoubtedly bliss.

After chatting a little longer, Jiang Bai ended the conversation and returned home. Once in his courtyard, he pulled out a heap of dirty clothes from his storage space, tossed them into a basin, sprinkled in some laundry powder, and filled it up with water.

Then, as an afterthought, he fished Bloop out of his pocket—where it had been snoozing comfortably—and plopped it into the basin as well.

Bloop, abruptly thrown into the water and half-buried beneath laundry powder, blinked in utter confusion.

“Wash those clothes for me, will you? I’m exhausted.” Jiang Bai yawned, fatigue from recent days finally catching up with him. Without another word, he disappeared into his room to sleep.

Bloop stared helplessly at the pile of dirty laundry.

Was this something a human would do? Make a slime wash clothes?

Anxiously, it glanced down at the basin of clothes, then back at its own round, squishy body.

How does a slime even wash clothes?!

Someone, please advise—this is urgent!

…

Back in his room, Jiang Bai lay staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

He hadn’t mentioned to anyone that he’d recovered most of his memories.

The past mattered to him—and yet, it didn’t.

If possible, he would’ve preferred never to recall those painful memories. They certainly hadn’t been pleasant. He even wondered: had he awakened from that coffin with those memories intact, would he still be who he was today?

Memories formed the cornerstone of one’s identity.

He’d come dangerously close to losing himself, nearly submerged by the flood of his past.

Thankfully, that didn’t happen. Even after unlocking his buried past, he was still Jiang Bai.

He released a heavy breath, forcing down his tangled emotions and shutting his eyes.

Whatever the case, it’s all in the past.

He slept deeply—so deeply, in fact, that he didn’t awaken until late the next day.

Jiang Bai rubbed his eyes as he stepped outside, feeling slightly dazed by the golden glow of sunset spilling into the yard.

“What time is it?”

He distinctly remembered going to sleep in the afternoon, yet despite feeling like he’d slept forever, it had only been a few hours?

Seeing him awake, Bloop bounced eagerly across the courtyard, launching itself up onto Jiang Bai’s shoulder with a cheerful, gelatinous wobble. Extending a tiny tentacle, it pointed urgently toward the back courtyard.

Jiang Bai gave its jelly-like head an affectionate pat. Although he didn’t fully understand its gestures, he obediently walked toward the back.

When he saw what awaited him, his eyes widened in astonishment.

His clothes—cleaned meticulously—were hanging neatly from bamboo poles, already dry.

Jiang Bai moved closer, inspecting them carefully. They’d been washed thoroughly, without a single stain remaining.

Bloop puffed up proudly, blowing a little bubble in self-satisfaction.

Jiang Bai lifted Bloop to eye level, incredulous. “You did this? How on earth?”

Honestly, he hadn’t actually expected this little slime to wash his clothes. He’d tossed it into the basin mostly because it’d spent far too long in his pocket.

Who knew it would surprise him like this?

Doesn’t this mean I’ll never have to wash my own clothes again?

Bloop, bursting with pride, quickly demonstrated the brilliant method it’d struggled so hard to invent. First, it blew a large bubble, filled it halfway with water, scooped up a few fallen leaves, then began spinning the bubble rapidly.

The leaves inside tumbled around as if in a washing machine, spinning one way, then reversing direction neatly.

“Unbelievable! Are you secretly the Hydro Archon or something?”

Even the actual Hydro Archon probably wouldn’t have thought to wash clothes with bubbles!

Jiang Bai was at a loss for words, overwhelmed by pride at his slime’s genius. He lifted Bloop high above his head, gleefully rubbing his cheek against its squishy body.

Buying this slime for just a few hundred thousand Mora was undoubtedly the smartest investment he’d ever made!

From now on, laundry would never be his chore again—what a blessing!

Bloop, currently basking in its master’s praise, had no idea its days of leisure were officially over.

“By the way, how did you manage to hang the clothes up?”

Laundry was plausible, but hanging clothes out to dry was surely beyond a mere slime’s abilities.

Bloop’s watery form immediately shifted, forming into a plum blossom.

Realization dawned on Jiang Bai. Oh, Hu Tao had helped.

“Heh, from now on, laundry is officially your job!”

Bloop’s triumphant expression instantly froze. It stared mournfully at Jiang Bai.

All it wanted was to impress its master, but instead, this cruel world had decided to exploit one small slime’s innocence!

“Oh, and remember to water my Sweet Flowers every day. Change the water in the vase holding the plum branches, too. And if you’re free, you might as well wipe down the tables and chairs.”

Bloop’s eyes widened in horror.

What sort of heartless monster was this master, enslaving a tiny pet slime to perform endless household chores?!

Unfortunately, Bloop couldn’t speak. If it could, it would’ve hurled the foulest curses imaginable at its master’s departing figure!

Instead, all it could do was splash water spitefully onto the clothes it had just painstakingly dried.

Having happily delegated all household duties, Jiang Bai hummed cheerfully as he headed next door to visit Hu Tao.

—

T/N: poor bloop…

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!