Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [27]

Jiang Bai had no idea that someone was investigating him. As far as he was concerned, life at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was fulfilling.

While familiarizing himself with this world, he also practiced wielding Geo. The ever-elusive Director Hu would occasionally appear to spar with him—only to vanish again the next moment, off to who-knows-where.

Jiang Bai frequently brought breakfast to visit Zhongli. Sometimes he would find the man, sometimes he would return empty-handed.

Zhongli’s knowledge was vast, yet their conversations often strayed from what Jiang Bai had hoped for.

He had wanted to ask about gods and the world’s history, but apart from their very first discussion, Zhongli never touched upon those topics again. Instead, he preferred to share advice on horticulture, tea appreciation, and the art of fine drinking.

None of these subjects were within Jiang Bai’s expertise. And no matter how many times he listened, he still couldn’t distinguish where a certain bitter tea leaf had been grown or what qualities made one tea better than another.

Honestly, he’d rather just add sugar and milk to turn it into something sweet.

During this time, he hadn’t left the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Mostly because Liyue Harbor was enormous—he didn’t know his way around, his pockets were empty, and if he went out, there was a real chance he wouldn’t find his way back.

Besides, he was still fascinated by elemental power and spent his days experimenting with different ways to use it.

While Jiang Bai was holed up inside, Hu Tao was equally busy.

As the Funeral Parlor’s Director, she might have the reputation of being a hands-off boss, but that didn’t mean she had nothing to do.

Her “Fallen Leaves Return to Their Roots” project was something she was personally overseeing.

“We’ve got enough Magical Crystal Ore, enough Noctilucous Jade, plenty of Cor Lapis, and an abundance of Vermilion Sand…”

Hu Tao went through the Funeral Parlor’s inventory, checking off materials on her list.

“But these—Jade of Unyielding Earth, Xuan Rock Sand, Kongtong Spirit Jade, and Fourfold True Essence—aren’t available anywhere!”

These weren’t just missing from their storage—even specialized merchants dealing in rare minerals had never even heard of them.

“Forget it. I’ll just ask Zhongli.”

She had unwavering faith in their Esteemed Consultant—whenever there was trouble, he always had the answers!

“Old man, old man~!”

Her lively voice rang out before she even arrived.

Setting down his tea, Zhongli sighed, his expression one of quiet resignation.

“What is it this time, Director?”

Hu Tao slapped her list onto the table and leapt onto a chair like a rabbit, resting her chin on both hands as she eagerly looked at him.

“I need these materials. Help me figure out where to find them!”

Zhongli took the list, glanced over it, and immediately provided an answer.

“Jade of Unyielding Earth is actually the core of a defeated Geo Hypostasis. As for Xuan Rock Sand, it is the inert outer shell of a Geo Hypostasis, ground into fine sand.”

Hu Tao’s eyes lit up. As expected of the old man—while others had no clue what these materials were, he explained them in an instant.

“Then where can I find a Geo Hypostasis?”

“There is one near Guyun Stone Forest.”

Zhongli paused before adding a warning:

“These elemental beings are not easy to defeat. Their outer shell shields them from harm, and they can only be struck when their core is exposed. Additionally, they can absorb Geo from the ground to restore themselves. It will be quite difficult for you to deal with.”

“So how do I fight it?” Hu Tao scratched her head. Clearly, she had little experience with these creatures.

Zhongli considered for a moment before suggesting, “Take Jiang Bai with you.”

“Take him?”

“While Geo attacks cannot directly harm the core, they can be used to resonate with the Geo pillars the Hypostasis creates, breaking them quickly. This will force it to expose its core more often, giving you the opportunity to land a decisive strike before it can recover.”

“Got it!”

Hu Tao nodded, committing the strategy to memory.

“But is there only one Geo Hypostasis? If I need more materials later, what do I do?”

Zhongli chuckled, picking up his tea.

“You won’t be able to permanently destroy it. Even if it disappears, it will retreat underground, gradually restoring itself until it reemerges.”

As long as elemental energy existed, so too would these elemental lifeforms.

“And what about Kongtong Spirit Jade and Fourfold True Essence?”

“You may find Kongtong Spirit Jade in Huaguang Stone Forest. Despite its name, it is not actually a jade but the root of a plant. These roots grow deep within rocky mountains, constantly battered by harsh winds, which over time gives them a jade-like texture.”

“Here, I have a drawing. With this as a reference, you should be able to recognize it.”

Zhongli retrieved paper and ink, his brush swiftly outlining a detailed illustration.

Hu Tao gently blew on the ink to dry it before happily tucking the paper away.

Their Esteemed Consultant really made her life easier! With someone this knowledgeable around, no matter how much Mora he spent, he was worth every coin!

“And Fourfold True Essence… that one will be trickier.”

Hu Tao tensed up. “How tricky?” If even Zhongli said it was difficult, then it was definitely not easy.

“Fourfold True Essence is a type of primordial spirit crystal formed within the amber of Mt. Hulao. It belongs to the adepti.”

“Oh… yeah, that’s gonna be tough.”

Finding an adeptus was hard enough, but convincing them to hand over something like that? That was a whole different challenge.

“I’ll figure it out later. For now, I’ll gather the materials I can!”

No point overthinking it. Obstacles were inevitable, but if she let one difficult step hold her back, the whole plan would grind to a halt.

“Later, old man! I’m off to find Jiang Bai~!”

With a wave, she vanished like the wind.

Zhongli, well accustomed to her fiery nature, simply shook his head and continued sipping his tea.

Of course, she couldn’t just go straight to Jiang Bai.

That guy had been holed up for days, obsessed with studying Geo energy. If she didn’t find something to lure him out, he probably wouldn’t leave his room at all.

A spark of mischief flashed in her eyes.

She bought a book and handed it to Jiang Bai with an air of mystery.

“Teyvat Travel Guide.”

The title intrigued him. From the looks of it, this should be a book about the world of Teyvat.

Yet, as he started reading, his expression shifted to one of utter bewilderment—

[subway old man phone.jpg].

He had expected a normal travel guide detailing Teyvat’s landscapes and cultures. Instead, the book was filled with wild theories and absurd ideas.

A Hilichurl meat-processing factory.
Blowing up Starfell Valley.
Detonating ancient ruins.

He didn’t even know where these places were, but everything about the book felt utterly unhinged.

Flipping back to the cover, he realized—

This wasn’t “Teyvat Travel Guide.”

It was “Alice’s Travel Diary.”

He had been scammed!

—

T/N: frig you

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!