Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [260]

Upon hearing Xingqiu’s name leave Hu Tao’s lips, Jiang Bai nearly collapsed in shock.

Although the criteria he listed did indeed match Xingqiu fairly well, couldn’t she see someone better standing right in front of her?!

Unable to hide his jealousy, Jiang Bai muttered bitterly, “Xingqiu? He’s no good. He looks just like a girl—anyone who doesn’t know better would mistake him for a young lady. Plus, he looks so frail; I bet he’s not even skilled in martial arts…”

“Really? Because from what I’ve seen, you’re even frailer than he is,” Hu Tao teased mercilessly.

“I’m just drained from training my elemental powers, I’m not actually weak!” Jiang Bai protested indignantly, rolling up his sleeves and flexing his firm biceps in an attempt to prove his strength.

Hu Tao couldn’t hold back her laughter at his earnest display.

“Director, why are you laughing? You don’t believe me?” Jiang Bai anxiously tugged at his shirt, fully prepared to expose his abs to her if necessary.

He knew Hu Tao was deliberately teasing him, but his pride wouldn’t allow him to back down now.

After all, no man could tolerate being called weak by the girl he liked.

However, Hu Tao showed no reaction whatsoever to his impressive muscles. She just casually waved her hand, dismissively saying, “I’ve already seen everything there is to see. Back when you were still a corpse, I saw all of you.”

Whoosh!

Hearing this, Jiang Bai felt blood surge directly to his head, turning his face as red as a ripe watermelon.

Clearly, his skin wasn’t thick enough yet—at least not in this regard.

He couldn’t bear the thought of Hu Tao having already seen every inch of him…

Watching Jiang Bai’s embarrassment, Hu Tao mischievously poked his flaming cheek. “Oh my, why is your face so red?”

Jiang Bai felt an odd sense of déjà vu from that teasing line. Just recently, hadn’t he said something similar to someone else?

Indeed, karma truly worked in cycles. Those who teased others inevitably got teased in return.

“The cave’s too stuffy, that’s all. I’ll… just step outside to cool down…” He mumbled awkwardly, his voice almost mechanical, and walked straight out into the pouring rain with his blazing-red face.

Hu Tao gestured for Yuyu to quietly follow him. The little ghost nodded obediently, floating after Jiang Bai discreetly.

Under the pounding rain, Jiang Bai felt his mind gradually clear. However, the thought of Hu Tao having already seen him naked still burned in his mind, keeping his face hot despite the cold rain.

Placing both hands against the mountain wall, he began repeatedly knocking his head against the solid stone, desperately wishing to dig a hole and hide himself inside.

Yuyu tilted her head, confused by his strange behavior.

Was he competing with the stone to see whose head was harder?

Concerned he might seriously injure himself, Yuyu quickly floated back to report this to Hu Tao.

Clicking her tongue, Hu Tao grabbed an umbrella and stepped out of the cave.

Upon seeing Jiang Bai still committing his silly act, she couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Normally, this guy’s skin was thick as a fortress wall, yet when it came to this subject, he became surprisingly shy.

“Are you trying to bash your head open here and make me pick up your corpse again? My investment hasn’t paid off yet—I don’t do business at a loss.”

Standing on tiptoe, she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him beneath her umbrella.

Jiang Bai stood limply beneath it, hair plastered to his face, and even his usually upright cowlick drooped pathetically. Completely drenched from head to toe, except for his flaming-red face, he looked just like a miserable, soaked puppy.

Hu Tao burst out laughing mercilessly. “I was joking! I didn’t actually see anything.”

“Really?” Jiang Bai asked, cautiously raising his head, clearly doubtful.

For some reason, he still didn’t believe her.

“I’m a youthful and innocent maiden. Why would I be staring at your corpse?” Hu Tao stated firmly, sounding completely convincing.

There existed such a thing as a kind-hearted lie.

When she’d first pulled Jiang Bai out of the river, she’d indeed examined him carefully—not only seeing everything, but even touching him to ensure he was actually dead and to tidy up the body.

Even back then, he’d felt oddly unlike a corpse. Sure enough, he eventually came back to life.

Of course, she’d never tell him that. If she did, he might truly bury himself back underground out of embarrassment.

Jiang Bai exhaled deeply in relief, feeling the heat in his face finally begin to fade.

Thank the Archons—he’d nearly lost his innocence…

He brushed aside his dripping bangs, revealing his reddened forehead, now bleeding slightly from his earlier stupidity. Looking pitifully at Hu Tao, he whimpered, “It hurts…”

“Whose fault is it for smashing your head against solid rock? Now you know which is harder, huh? Come back inside, I’ll patch you up.”

Seeing Jiang Bai’s exaggerated act, Yuyu rolled her eyes dramatically, deciding it was better to hide inside Hu Tao’s body and avoid watching such nonsense.

Returning to the cave, Jiang Bai peeled off his soaked shirt and sat shirtless beside the fire.

Hu Tao took out bandages and carefully cleaned the gravel from his forehead wound. Her expression was surprisingly gentle and serious under the firelight, momentarily leaving Jiang Bai captivated.

Chongyun, Xingqiu… none of them are good enough for the Director.

I’m the only one suited for her!

Unaware of Jiang Bai’s secret thoughts, Hu Tao gently applied ointment and wrapped several layers of bandages around his forehead, finishing neatly.

“Luckily your head’s hard enough. It’s just a small scrape. Avoid getting it wet, and it’ll heal in no time.”

Unable to resist the tender moment, Jiang Bai shamelessly whined, “Director, you’re so nice~”

Hearing Jiang Bai’s sugary tone, Hu Tao shuddered and rubbed her arms, exaggeratedly brushing off goosebumps.

As expected, give this guy an inch and he’d take a mile.

“Quick, go change your clothes. Don’t come crying to me if you catch a cold.”

“Got it!”

Jiang Bai quickly erected a small Geo room for privacy, changed into dry clothing, and hung his soaked garments near the fire to dry. He glanced at Hu Tao:

“Director, did your clothes get wet? Need to change?”

“Just my skirt hem got a little damp—it’s already dried,” Hu Tao yawned sleepily. “I’m exhausted. Time for bed.”

“Good night.”

“Mm, good night,” Hu Tao replied lazily, retreating into her tent and closing it.

Jiang Bai sat alone by the fire, waiting for his hair to dry as his mind drifted aimlessly.

He liked Hu Tao—of that, he had no doubt.

And naturally, he hoped to spend his life with her.

Yet, saying it was easy. Making it happen was something else entirely.

Setting aside Hu Tao’s current age, even his own circumstances were unclear.

With hardly any memory of his past, he had no idea what he really was. Although everything seemed fine now, who knew if someday he’d suddenly fall back into suspended animation again?

Besides these worries, there were others.

For instance, a crucial one, could someone from beyond this world even have children with a native of Teyvat?

Hu Tao was the only heir to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. If they ended up together, who would inherit the parlor afterward?

People in Liyue lived only a few decades, but from the fragments he recalled, he’d clearly been alive for a very long time.

Perhaps one day, when Hu Tao grew old, he’d still look as young as ever.

Even if he found a way to extend her lifespan, Hu Tao—who cherished the natural cycle of life and death—probably wouldn’t want to unnaturally prolong her life anyway.

As these worries piled up, Jiang Bai sank deeper into gloom.

After a long, silent struggle, he sighed deeply.

“I really have to find a way to recover my memories…”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!