Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [2]

Jiang Bai didn’t mind the physical contact—he could tell these people meant no harm.

“Dead?” He was puzzled. His past memories were a complete blank, no matter how hard he tried to recall them.

He reached up and ran a hand over his head but found no wounds. That meant his memory loss likely wasn’t caused by a head injury—unless, of course, a significant amount of time had passed and any wounds had already healed.

Jiang Bai thought for a moment but couldn’t make sense of it. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Did you lose your memory?”

The pallbearer’s reaction was understandable. In Teyvat, all sorts of strange things happened, but coming back to life after death was rare—usually the result of a major incident. Take that little zombie from Bubu Pharmacy, for example.

Memory loss after a traumatic event wasn’t unusual either.

“I think so. My mind is completely blank.”

“What about your name? Where are you from? Do you have any family?”

“My name is Jiang Bai.”

The words slipped out of his mouth instinctively, as if his name wasn’t stored in his memory but rather ingrained into his very being.

The moment he said it, even he was briefly surprised. But he quickly followed up, “As for everything else… I don’t remember.”

The pallbearer scratched his chin. “That name sounds Liyuean. Looks like you’ve only lost part of your memory. Well, we’ll have the Director check you out when she gets back!”

Though these pallbearers had seen their fair share of strange occurrences working under Hu Tao, their knowledge still couldn’t compare to hers.

And if even she couldn’t figure it out, then they’d just have to consult their guest consultant, Zhongli. If he didn’t have an answer… well, then there was nothing they could do.

Jiang Bai nodded and quietly sat inside the coffin, waiting for the girl to return.

Surprisingly, it was quite comfortable in there. Despite its plain exterior, the inside was lined with soft padding, and there was enough space for him to turn over while lying down.

Ignoring the symbolic implications and the eerie atmosphere, it was actually a pretty good place to sleep.

His thoughts started to drift. If he ever had to camp outdoors with nowhere to rest, bringing a coffin along might not be a bad idea. Close the lid at night, and it could shield him from rain, sun, and cold.

…The only problem was that a coffin was too big to carry around conveniently.

As his mind wandered, Jiang Bai absentmindedly reached inside the coffin and pulled out a few yellow talismans inscribed with vermillion symbols.

The calligraphy was powerful, the strokes bold and decisive.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t read a single word of it.

He didn’t have to wait long. Just as he was debating whether to stick one of the talismans to his own forehead, the girl reappeared in his line of sight.

The funeral had concluded. The rest of the procession took a different path down the mountain, while she returned the way she had come.

She had removed the white mourning cloth from her shoulders, and the solemnity in her expression had vanished. Once again, she looked lively and mischievous.

Jiang Bai caught a flash of fire-red butterflies—then, in the blink of an eye, the girl was right in front of him.

Even though he had already seen her do this several times, it still amazed him.

If this weren’t such an inappropriate time, he would’ve loved to grab her and study exactly how she managed it.

“Hey, young man! What’s your name? Where are you from? How’d you end up in a coffin? Were you just in a deep sleep, or were you actually dead?”

Hu Tao circled around him, eyes gleaming with curiosity. Those plum blossom-like pupils studied him as if he were some rare panda in a zoo—something unusual and fascinating.

She rattled off her questions one after another, clearly eager to get answers.

Before, she had been too busy overseeing the burial ceremony to satisfy her curiosity. Now that the job was done, she no longer had to suppress her natural inquisitiveness.

Jiang Bai picked the one question he could answer. “My name is Jiang Bai. As for the rest… I don’t know.”

One of the pallbearers chimed in with a quick explanation.

Hu Tao nodded thoughtfully. “Oh, partial memory loss, huh?”

She sounded a little disappointed.

Other than Qiqi, this was the second time she had encountered someone who had returned from the dead. Too bad he had amnesia.

But unlike Qiqi, Jiang Bai’s situation was different.

Qiqi had truly died—her soul had been trapped in the mortal world, disrupting the balance of life and death, forcing her to endure immense suffering. That was why Hu Tao had wanted to help her pass on peacefully.

Jiang Bai, however, was fully alive.

Looking at him now, it seemed his previous “death” had been some kind of deep, temporary stasis rather than a true passing.

Since he wasn’t a monster or a wandering spirit, Hu Tao had no reason to insist on burying him. But she also couldn’t just leave a memoryless person to fend for himself.

“No one recognizes you, no family, and you’ve lost your memories. What do you plan to do now?”

Hu Tao crossed her arms, standing with one foot propped on a rock. Despite still being a young girl, she struck a pose of authority, gazing down at Jiang Bai.

Jiang Bai tilted his head.

He was honestly quite tempted to test out sleeping in a coffin in the wilderness, just to see if it was as comfortable as he imagined.

But then he caught sight of the pallbearers subtly signaling at him—throwing him glances, nudging each other.

And then he looked back at Hu Tao, the playful yet shrewd little boss standing before him.

His inner actor emerged.

Letting out a long sigh, his previously calm expression turned lost and forlorn. An air of loneliness and uncertainty settled over him, as if he had been abandoned by the entire world.

“I have no home, no past, no future. Apart from my name, I know nothing about myself. If the Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is willing to take me in, I would be deeply grateful. Otherwise, I shall wander the wilderness, making the heavens my blanket and the earth my bed…”

If it were an ordinary person waking up inside a coffin, they’d probably be terrified. But Jiang Bai wasn’t.

Aside from his confusion, what he felt most was… curiosity.

During the wait for Hu Tao, he had chatted with the pallbearers and learned quite a bit. He now knew that this girl was their boss, and that they specialized in funeral services. They were also in need of extra hands. If he had nowhere to go, he could follow them back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. The pay wasn’t great, but at least he’d have a place to stay.

Apparently, the wilderness wasn’t all that safe—there were monsters roaming about, and nighttime was especially dangerous.

Jiang Bai wasn’t particularly afraid of these so-called monsters. In fact, he was rather curious to see what they looked like.

But the reality remained—he had nowhere to stay. And this coffin? It wasn’t even his. It could very well be taken back, and then his grand “sleeping in a coffin” idea would go up in smoke.

Weighing his options, it was clear that going with them was in his best interest.

Besides, judging by Hu Tao’s eccentric personality, she seemed like an interesting person.

Wangsheng Funeral Parlor might specialize in death, but with someone like her in charge… life there was bound to be anything but dull.

—

T/N: hehehe

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!