Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [23]

If this had been the first time Xiangling made this dish, she wouldn’t have minded letting someone taste-test it. But she had already perfected the recipe—only for it to be classified as a failure.

Letting a guest eat something like this made her conscience uneasy.

Hu Tao had long since noticed Xiangling’s hesitation. She held onto her hand tightly, whispering, “Relax, he’s definitely going to love it!”

With a bright smile, she turned to Jiang Bai, eagerly awaiting his reaction.

Jiang Bai, however, caught onto their little exchange. His gaze shifted to the dish before him.

Did Hu Tao mess with this food?

Honestly, even though he hadn’t known Hu Tao for long, he wouldn’t put it past her to pull a prank like that.

Without changing his expression, Jiang Bai calmly ladled a bowl of soup and placed it in front of Hu Tao first. Then, he served one for Xiangling, one for Guoba, and finally, one for himself.

“Director Hu, Xiangling, Guoba, let’s all eat together!”

Instead of digging in right away, he turned his attention to Hu Tao, waiting for her to take the first sip.

“Why so formal? Just eat,” Hu Tao waved him off, intending to casually dodge the bowl he had given her and focus on other dishes instead.

“Director Hu, you’re not having the soup?” Jiang Bai smiled at her. If she wasn’t drinking, then neither was he.

Three pairs of eyes locked onto Hu Tao.

Guoba tilted his head in confusion, unsure what was happening.

At this point, there was no way out for Hu Tao.

With an air of nonchalance, she picked up her spoon, took a sip, and shrugged. “I just didn’t feel like starting with soup, that’s all.”

Seeing her seemingly unfazed reaction, Jiang Bai hesitated only for a moment before lifting his bowl and taking a small sip.

The moment the soup touched his tongue, an overwhelming sweetness flooded his senses, completely drowning out any other flavor.

As Xiangling held her breath in suspense and Hu Tao grinned in anticipation of his reaction, Jiang Bai’s expression suddenly brightened with delight.

Then, he downed the entire bowl in one go.

Hu Tao’s face immediately fell. Not only did her prank fail, but now she had been forced to drink a sip of that overwhelmingly sweet soup herself.

She stuck her tongue out and fanned her mouth, trying to dispel the saccharine taste, but it was no use.

In the end, she grabbed a kettle and desperately chugged water, gulp after gulp, until she had filled herself up halfway. Only then did the cavity-inducing sweetness finally subside.

Xiangling, watching Hu Tao’s suffering, puffed up her cheeks in frustration.

“You tricked me again!”

“I didn’t! Look, he genuinely likes it!” Hu Tao raised her hands in innocence, refusing to admit fault.

“You had no idea how he’d react!” Xiangling wasn’t buying it. She grabbed Hu Tao’s hair and tugged angrily.

“Mercy! Mercy! I was wrong, I was wrong…” Hu Tao immediately caved, bowing her head in defeat.

To appease Xiangling, she picked up her chopsticks and started piling food onto her plate. “Here, here, our great chef worked hard! Eat up, eat up!”

Watching this play out, Jiang Bai let out a quiet laugh, which immediately earned him a glare from Hu Tao.

He quickly lowered his head and resumed drinking his soup.

One bowl wasn’t enough—he ladled himself another.

Seeing him drink so enthusiastically, Guoba tilted his head, now completely unsure whether this was really the same dish it remembered.

Curious, it stretched out a paw, plucked a flower petal from its own bowl, and popped it into its mouth.

The moment the Sweet Flower touched its tongue, an impossibly sugary taste exploded in its mouth—like ingesting a lethal dose of sugar all at once.

The little creature went rigid, then toppled over onto the floor, its face scrunched up in agony. It nearly fainted.

“Guoba! Are you okay? Guoba!” Xiangling rushed over and gently picked him up, checking him over in concern.

“Lu…lu…” Guoba let out a weak sound, its eyes brimming with betrayal.

How is that human drinking this so happily?!

Seeing that Guoba was merely overwhelmed by the sweetness, Xiangling sighed in relief.

“Don’t eat random things next time.”

Animals generally had much more sensitive taste buds than humans. She wasn’t exactly sure what species Guoba belonged to, but she was certain that a flavor this intense must have been unbearable for him.

She pulled out a chili pepper. “Here, have a Jueyun Chili to balance it out.”

Jiang Bai, having long since accepted that this world was not the one he was originally from, had grown accustomed to its bizarre creatures.

But watching Guoba eat a chili raw, he still found himself blinking in shock.

It can’t handle sweetness but has no problem with spice?

Curious as he was, he didn’t ask. After all, everyone had their own way of raising their companions.

Besides, he had noticed the Vision hanging at Xiangling’s waist. Clearly, she was a Vision holder as well.

Maybe Guoba was something similar to Hu Tao’s little ghost—a spiritual guardian of sorts?

“Guoba is hilarious~” Hu Tao burst into laughter, and her tiny ghost popped out, clutching its belly as if laughing too.

“Lulu…”

Guoba, now tearfully munching on the chili, looked utterly miserable.

Xiangling playfully knocked her knuckles against Hu Tao’s head, putting her hands on her hips. “No laughing at Guoba!”

Hu Tao held onto her hat and quickly surrendered. “Alright, alright, no laughing!”

Watching the two of them bicker while enjoying the meal, Jiang Bai found himself in an uncharacteristically good mood.

This kind of life isn’t bad at all.

“Xiangling, what exactly were the rumors you heard about me?”

As they ate and chatted, Jiang Bai couldn’t help but ask.

He was genuinely curious about how he was being perceived.

“Are you sure you want to know?” Xiangling hesitated, worried he might not take it well.

“Of course!”

“Well… Everyone had a different version. Some said you were a zombie, some said you couldn’t talk, others said you were completely mindless. Some even claimed you had three legs, or that you could only crawl instead of walk… It just kept getting more and more ridiculous.”

Xiangling summarized what she had heard, and every version was more absurd than the last.

“Well, that’s how rumors work~” Hu Tao said, picking up a piece of meat and speaking around her full mouth. “Most people haven’t actually seen you. They’re just repeating what they heard from someone else. And every time the story is passed along, it changes a little, getting more exaggerated. That’s how gossip spreads.”

Jiang Bai smacked his lips.

People loved a good sensational story. The more bizarre and unheard-of something was, the faster it spread.

If not for this whole returning from the dead thing, no one would have even bothered to talk about him—a completely unremarkable newcomer.

“Do people in Liyue Harbor have nothing better to do for entertainment?”

Otherwise, how could there be so many different versions of the rumors about him?

“There are things to do—listening to operas, storytelling…” Hu Tao thought about it for a moment but could only come up with those two.

“Well, that explains it…”

With so little entertainment, a person who had come back to life naturally became the hottest topic in town, livening up an otherwise mundane existence.

But whatever.

Let them talk. It’s not like it would hurt him.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!