Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [31]

Hu Tao rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll try it myself!”

She picked up a piece of the burnt egg and popped it into her mouth as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

“Tastes fine to me.”

“Really?” Jiang Bai looked at her skeptically, watching as she remained completely unfazed.

“Try it yourself and see.” Hu Tao glanced at the pitch-black, ghost-shaped egg as if she couldn’t care less whether Jiang Bai ate it or not.

Half-doubting, Jiang Bai picked up a small piece. The moment it touched his tongue, he froze on the spot, as if turned to stone.

In that instant, he experienced the full spectrum of life’s flavors, as though he’d undergone an endless cycle of reincarnation—one in which he nearly lost himself.

“Hahaha!” Hu Tao laughed so hard she nearly fell over. “This is my exclusive secret recipe—Reincarnation in One Bite! So? Feels immersive, doesn’t it?”

Jiang Bai, having barely recovered, chugged water like his life depended on it. His face was as pale as a bitter melon, and his voice weak.

“I… I thought I was going to die…”

He couldn’t fathom how Hu Tao had eaten this thing without even flinching—this wasn’t food, this was a weapon!

Reincarnation in One Bite… The name was too fitting. One bite, and he felt like he’d walked the path of reincarnation itself.

Never again. No matter what, he would never eat Hu Tao’s cooking again!

Curious, he asked, “By the way, Director, what do you usually eat when you’re out in the wild?”

“Obviously, I eat pre-made food!” Hu Tao rolled her eyes. What kind of dumb question is that?

Jiang Bai: So when you’re by yourself, you eat well, but when you bring me along, you try to poison me?

For the sake of his survival, he wisely chose not to voice this complaint. Otherwise, Hu Tao would surely find a way to make him eat more of her “secret recipe.”

…

After finishing lunch, the two continued toward the central island.

This island was much larger, but apart from the remains of some Ruin Guards, there wasn’t much of interest.

As they stepped off the seawater-soaked beach and moved inland, Jiang Bai suddenly heard a clicking sound—like something waking up.

“Get ready, we’ve got a tough fight ahead.” Hu Tao’s expression turned serious, her polearm already in hand.

Jiang Bai focused his gaze. What he had assumed were inactive Ruin Guards were now stirring to life. Four massive mechanical beings rose from the ground, their cores flashing red—locked onto them.

“Great… these things have sensors now?”

They hadn’t even stepped close, and yet the Ruin Guards had already detected them.

Just as Jiang Bai was wondering how they planned to attack, he saw a barrage of missiles streaking toward them.

His jaw dropped. We’re supposed to be in a fantasy world, but the enemies just pulled out AK-47s?!

“Don’t just stand there! Move! These things can track you!” Hu Tao had already shifted into her [Paramita Papilio] state, but she still took the time to warn Jiang Bai, who was momentarily stunned.

Naturally, Jiang Bai wasn’t about to sit there and accept death. He had just been caught off guard.

Right before the missiles struck, he snapped his fingers. A thick wall of rock surged up from the ground, forming a solid barrier between him and the incoming projectiles.

Boom! 

A series of explosions erupted against the wall, sending debris flying. Yet, despite the force, the wall remained standing, with only a few dents marking its surface.

Jiang Bai quickly realized the missiles weren’t as powerful as he had feared. He scoffed.

“Tch.”

Rolling his wrists, he hoisted his weapon, the [Debate Club], and charged toward the nearest Ruin Guard.

Hu Tao was even faster. While Jiang Bai was still blocking missiles, she had already engaged one of the enemies.

Her agile movements made her a near-impossible target—the missiles that locked onto her all missed their mark.

Ruin Guards couldn’t fire endlessly. Each missile launch required several seconds of charging, and once they depleted their rounds, they had to recharge before firing again.

But that was when they were at their most dangerous.

When they ran out of missiles, they switched to brute force—swinging their massive iron fists. A single hit could easily result in severe injury.

Jiang Bai closed the distance with one Ruin Guard, dodging its attacks while striking at it with his weapon.

But before he could gain the upper hand, another Ruin Guard locked onto him.

With a heavy boom, the machine leaped into the air, aiming to crush him.

Jiang Bai had no intention of taking the hit head-on. He quickly pulled back his weapon and sidestepped the attack.

Unfortunately, the Ruin Guards weren’t mindless—they were working together.

The first one seized the opportunity to corner Jiang Bai, trapping him between them.

“They can coordinate?!” Jiang Bai was stunned.

As if their sheer size and strength weren’t troublesome enough, they were actually strategizing?

One Ruin Guard threw a massive punch, while the other extended its arms, spinning like a deadly whirlwind to block off all escape routes.

The more dangerous the situation, the calmer Jiang Bai became.

If I can’t dodge left or right… He glanced upward.

Geo energy surged beneath his feet, and a stone pillar shot up, lifting him into the air.

He didn’t stop there. With each step he took, a new rock pillar rose beneath him, allowing him to keep moving as he avoided the attacks from below.

Behind him, the spinning Ruin Guard smashed through the pillars, reducing them to dust, but more kept forming as he advanced.

Jiang Bai stole a quick glance at Hu Tao. She was also fighting two Ruin Guards, but unlike him, she wasn’t just dodging—she was actively counterattacking.

Clearly, she had much more experience dealing with these machines.

Jiang Bai had no plans to just evade forever. If fighting two at once was too difficult, he would simply take one out first.

The spinning Ruin Guard relentlessly tore through the pillars, while the other crouched, pressing its long arms into the ground. Its core pulsed—it was about to fire missiles at him again.

Jiang Bai didn’t hesitate. Channeling his elemental power, he coated his weapon with Geo energy and hurled his [Debate Club] like a javelin.

The massive, 40-kilogram hammer flew like a meteor, whistling through the air before slamming directly into the Ruin Guard’s core.

The force shattered the core, its glow instantly fading.

The machine twitched twice before falling completely still.

With one enemy down, the pressure on Jiang Bai eased considerably.

However… his only weapon was now lodged inside a broken Ruin Guard.

But being unarmed didn’t mean he was out of options.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!