Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [202]

By the time they left the Knights of Favonius, dusk was already falling. Glancing at the darkening sky, Jiang Bai turned to Aether and Paimon.

“Do you two have a place to stay tonight?” It didn’t seem like the Knights had arranged anything for them.

That was when Paimon realized—they didn’t have anywhere to stay!

It was only their first day in Mondstadt. They’d spent the morning chasing off Stormterror and the afternoon helping out the Knights, so much so that they hadn’t had time to deal with anything else.

“Nope.” He looked at Jiang Bai with wide, expectant eyes.

Jiang Bai turned to Klee. “Are there any spare rooms at your house?”

Klee nodded enthusiastically. “There are lots of empty rooms at Klee’s place! Honorary Knight, Paimon, do you want to come over as Klee’s guests?”

She didn’t hesitate to use Aether’s new honorary title, fresh from the Knights.

“Yes, yes!” Paimon cheered, floating midair.

Finally, they had a place to stay—they wouldn’t have to sleep in the streets!

But right on cue, his stomach let out a loud rumble. Embarrassed, he clutched his belly. “I’m starving…”

“Then let’s go cook at Klee’s house! Can you cook?” Jiang Bai asked Aether.

His own cooking was passable—enough to keep from starving, but whether it tasted good or not was pretty much up to luck.

If he managed the heat and seasoning just right, it’d be a real feast.
If he didn’t, all the salt might end up in one spot, with the rest bland as water.

Paimon put her hands on her hips, brimming with pride. “Aether’s cooking is unbeatable!”

She’d survived two whole months on the coast eating Aether’s endless seafood creations. Otherwise, she’d have starved and been forced into the city in search of food.

“Klee’s got plenty of ingredients and recipes at home. Dinner’s in your hands!” Jiang Bai patted Aether’s shoulder, as if passing on a great responsibility.

“Klee wants to eat something yummy too!”

Chatting as they walked, the group soon arrived at Klee’s place.

Paimon’s eyes went wide at the size of Klee’s house.

This place could fit not just the two of them—ten more people like them would be no problem at all.

“Klee, do you live here all by yourself?”

“Nope! Klee lives with Big Brother Albedo, but he’s been really busy lately, so Klee’s all alone at home.”

“The dining room’s over here, kitchen’s there, and those are the guest rooms.” Klee led her two new guests on a tour of the house.

Seeing the kitchen so fully stocked and the array of utensils, Paimon was so hungry she started stomping in midair.

“So hungry, so hungry—Aether, let’s cook!”

Aether put his hands on his hips. “So I’m the one who cooks, while you just eat?”

Paimon didn’t look the least bit embarrassed. “Hehe, what’s yours is mine! It’s all the same.”

Aether sighed, resigned, and got started on dinner.

Klee’s recipe book was extensive—even for dishes he’d never made before, Lumine could manage a passable imitation just by following the pictures.

As expected of a cooking expert, Aether easily won over all their taste buds.

Paimon patted her round little belly, floating in the air like a fish with its white belly up, unwilling to move.

Burp—so full…

“I’m stuffed. I’m gonna head out for a walk to digest a bit. Just toss the dishes in the kitchen, I’ll wash them later,” Jiang Bai said, standing up and stretching after his own big meal.

“Huh? You, the guy who hands out flyers, actually volunteering to do the dishes?” Paimon craned her neck from where she lay, looking at him in surprise.

Jiang Bai flicked her crown. “Who else is gonna do it? The chef? Or you two little puddings?”

Klee was still just a kid, and Paimon—well, she wasn’t even as big as a pizza plate!

Paimon straightened her crown and, for the first time, thought Jiang Bai wasn’t so bad after all—if he’d even volunteer to wash dishes.

“Cleaning up is all yours, then. I’m off for a stroll.”

“Go ahead! We’ll tidy up!” Paimon waved her tiny hand and flopped sideways again.

Jiang Bai strolled out to the plaza, stopping by Good Hunter to buy a serving of Estate-style Pancakes.

He was planning to teleport back to Liyue and gossip with Hu Tao about the day’s events in Mondstadt. The Dragon—the Archon’s own companion—attacking the city? That kind of story only came around once in a decade.

He teleported to Liyue Harbor and easily found Hu Tao wandering along the pier.

Hands clasped behind her back, Hu Tao was strolling at her usual lazy pace. Jiang Bai snuck up behind her, arm outstretched, dangling the bag of pancakes right in front of her face.

Hu Tao had noticed him rustling around long ago, but pretended not to, just to see what he’d do.

The sweet scent of pancakes drifted up to her nose. With a grin, Hu Tao snatched the bag, clearly in a great mood.

She spun around, her twin ponytails bouncing behind her.

“I knew it was you.”

Jiang Bai shrugged. “Can’t fool the Director.”

“You bought these in Mondstadt? Smells delicious.” Hu Tao peeked inside—the pancakes were still steaming hot.

She took a bite. The pancake was fluffy, with the tartness of raspberries and the mellow sweetness of milk balancing perfectly.

“Tasty, right? Good Hunter’s signature dessert, chef’s recommendation! I waited ages for these to be ready.”

“Not bad, not bad! You remembered to bring something for your Director. I’ll give you some credit for that!” Hu Tao rose on tiptoes and patted his shoulder, looking very pleased.

“But you’re back so soon? I thought you’d at least play around for a few days!”

“Well, I didn’t want the Director to get bored all alone.” Jiang Bai folded his hands behind his head and walked with her, catching the sea breeze along the dock.

“Besides, isn’t it normal to head home when it gets dark?”

For him, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was already home.

“Your teleportation power is really handy. You can go anywhere in a flash.”

Hu Tao was genuinely envious of Jiang Bai’s ability.

The distance between Mondstadt and Liyue Harbor was so vast that even riding a carriage nonstop would take at least three days.

But Jiang Bai could teleport, and the trip took less than three seconds.

“Something big happened in Mondstadt today, you know.”

Jiang Bai started recounting the day’s adventures. When Hu Tao heard about the havoc Stormterror had wreaked on the city, she circled him, sizing him up with a couple of tuts.

“Talk about bad luck—showing up just as all that’s happening.”

Jiang Bai was clearly unharmed, not a scratch on him, which put Hu Tao at ease.

“And then? What happened after?” Hu Tao was eager to hear the rest.

“How’d Stormterror leave? How did it all get resolved?”

“A traveler from out of town drove him off,” Jiang Bai summarized.

“That’s impressive.” Hu Tao was genuinely impressed, though a little disappointed she hadn’t been there herself.

She’d have loved to see what Stormterror looked like.

But there was no competing with teleportation, and she could never have gotten there in time.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!