Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [33]

Hu Tao began recounting the origins of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

“During the Archon War, corpses piled up everywhere, the land was devastated, and plagues spread like wildfire, claiming countless lives. The disease thrived on the dead, using them as vessels to continue its rampage.”

“But eventually, people discovered a way to halt the spread—purifying the air and cremating the bodies.”

“The first ones to take up this responsibility were the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Our ancestors, mere mortals, spent countless years pushing back death itself…”

Jiang Bai furrowed his brows. “Weren’t humans under the protection of the gods back then?”

“Of course! It was Rex Lapis who protected our ancient ancestors, defeating countless other gods and bringing about the Liyue we know today.”

As she spoke, Hu Tao adopted the dramatic tone of a storyteller, reciting a passage she had heard countless times since childhood.

“In those days, Liyue was plagued by monstrous sea creatures and terrorized by an evil chthonian dragon lurking in the mountains.”

“So, the Geo Archon summoned the Adepti, vowing to cleanse the land and restore peace.

“It is said that as he set forth on his campaign, he declared:”

“Though I seek not conquest, I know the sufferings of the people. I shall cleanse the four corners of this land and guard this fleeting world…”

Her voice deepened, taking on a solemn, weighty tone.

Jiang Bai listened intently, gaining a newfound understanding of the Geo Archon.

“So… that’s the kind of god he was?”

‘Cleanse the four corners… guard this fleeting world.’

Just that one sentence was enough to paint a picture of a compassionate deity. And looking at Liyue’s current prosperity, it was evident just how great his deeds had been.

Hearing the admiration in Jiang Bai’s tone, Hu Tao lifted her chin proudly.

Our Archon is one of a kind!

“Of course! If you’re interested, I’ll find you some books! My study is full of books about the Geo Archon!”

The people of Liyue had a deep love for collecting items related to their god, and Hu Tao was no exception.

She had an entire bookshelf filled with records about him, from ancient history to recent accounts.

“Sounds good.”

Jiang Bai nodded before shifting his thoughts back to the ruins around them.

So, if that was the case, then these ruins and the Ruin Guards must have once belonged to the same god’s domain.

After that god was defeated, their followers likely perished over generations, leaving only these ruins behind as remnants of their civilization.

And the Ruin Guards… they must have once served the very god now sealed beneath their feet.

As for why these people lived atop the prison of their own deity, Jiang Bai could think of countless reasons without much effort—perhaps they had nowhere else to go, or they wished to stay close to their god’s power. Maybe they had even hoped to one day break the seal and free their deity.

Jiang Bai felt like he had pieced together the truth.

He decided that once they returned, he would discuss these findings with Zhongli.

Surely, even Zhongli would be impressed by his sharp observations!

As they walked and chatted, they soon arrived at the largest island in the area.

“I don’t know exactly where the Geo Hypostasis is, but if we climb to the mountaintop, we might be able to spot it,” Hu Tao suggested, pointing toward the peak.

It was the highest point in the area, so the view would likely be excellent. Rather than blindly searching, it was better to gain a vantage point first.

Jiang Bai didn’t even need to lift his head to see the towering summit.

A massive Geo spear was lodged at an angle deep into the ocean, forming a natural sloping path toward the peak.

Even from a distance, he could make out remnants of structures scattered across the mountainside.

Clearly, in the long course of history, buildings had once stood here as well.

“Alright.”

Jiang Bai had no objections.

If Hu Tao didn’t know the location, then he certainly had no clue either.

Climbing up would at least allow them to get a clear view of the terrain—and the scenery from the top was bound to be breathtaking.

“Let’s go!” Hu Tao cheered, dashing ahead.

Her little ghost companion emerged from her body, twirling joyfully in the air.

“Director, where do you get all this energy from?” Jiang Bai followed behind, taking a more measured pace along the mountain path.

After using so much Geo energy to control pillars during the earlier fight, he was feeling slightly drained.

“As the 77th Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Master, guardian of both the living and the dead, and balancer of yin and yang—having no stamina is not an option!”

Hu Tao turned her head and made a playful face. “If just fighting some Ruin Guards tires you out, Jiang Xiaobai, you really need more training!”

Jiang Bai twitched.

Jiang Xiaobai? What kind of weird nickname is that?

“Yes, yes, Director Hu is absolutely right,” he responded halfheartedly.

He had only recently started using elemental power—otherwise, how could creating a few pillars have tired him out so easily?

Midway up the mountain, Hu Tao suddenly halted.

Her body flickered into a spectral state, instantly phasing several meters back to Jiang Bai’s side. Without a word, she grabbed him and pulled him behind a large boulder.

“What’s wrong, Director?” Jiang Bai asked in confusion.

It was rare to see Hu Tao this serious outside of funeral rites.

Could there be something dangerous ahead?

“Trouble. There are three Abyss Mages up ahead!”

One Abyss Mage was manageable.

But three at once? And judging by their colors, their elements complemented each other.

That would make things significantly more difficult.

“Abyss Mages?” This was Jiang Bai’s first time hearing of such creatures.

Just from the name, they didn’t sound easy to deal with.

Carefully, he peeked out from behind the rock.

Sure enough, he spotted three small figures dancing around a bonfire.

The Abyss Mages had humanoid shapes, but they were much smaller than people.

Each had a pair of long ears, and their faces—whether naturally or masked—bore beak-like designs with hollowed-out eyes, revealing their solid-colored pupils beneath.

They wore robes embroidered with mysterious patterns, though Jiang Bai couldn’t make out the details from this distance.

Each Mage held a staff corresponding to their element, likely using it to channel elemental power in battle.

“The red one is a Pyro Abyss Mage, the blue one is Hydro, and the light blue one is Cryo,” Hu Tao whispered.

“When they detect an enemy, they instantly summon shields to protect themselves. On top of that, they can teleport short distances.

“If you get hit by a Hydro Mage’s attack and then struck by a Cryo Mage right after, you’ll get frozen and be completely vulnerable.”

“Not only that, but they work together. If you don’t break their shields and finish them off quickly, they’ll just summon new ones.”

“That does sound tricky.”

But no matter how troublesome they were, they were blocking the only path forward.

They couldn’t just turn back now.

“Director, what’s the plan?” Jiang Bai had no experience dealing with these creatures, so he naturally looked to Hu Tao for guidance.

—

T/N: hehe Jiang Bai means white river, when it’s Jiang Xiaobai it’s little white river hehehe

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!