Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [259]

On their way, Jiang Bai bulldozed through every nearby monster camp, including Fatui and Treasure Hoarder hideouts.

Adhering strictly to principles of thriftiness, he collected a large pile of junk along the way.

As the sky darkened, thick clouds gathered ominously, signaling an approaching storm.

Thunderstorms in Teyvat often brought fierce rain, and lightning frequently struck travelers caught unprepared.

Unable to find any natural caves nearby, Jiang Bai simply carved one out from solid rock using Geo energy. It took less effort than building a separate shelter from scratch, considering how drained he already was.

Not long after their makeshift cave was complete, the sky fully darkened. Though evening had not yet fallen, the sky grew darker than midnight.

A bolt of lightning split the heavens, and torrential rain poured down instantly, the world consumed by the sound of heavy rainfall.

With a snap of her fingers, Hu Tao summoned a warm fire inside the cave, providing both heat and illumination.

Watching a tree get struck by lightning nearby, Jiang Bai clicked his tongue in amazement.

“Hey, Director, do you think Hilichurls ever get struck by lightning? If they did, would they mutate or something?”

“How would I know something like that?” Hu Tao shrugged casually. “But maybe you could go test it yourself—see if lightning mutates you or just kills you outright.”

“No thanks. I’m not eager to die yet…”

Hu Tao started setting up a pot to prepare their meal.

Jiang Bai gulped nervously, quickly snatching the cooking knife from her hand.

“Director, let me handle it. You rest.”

He had no desire to survive their harsh training only to meet his end from Hu Tao’s infamous culinary disasters.

Hu Tao crossed her arms dramatically, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “This Director was just trying to reward you for your hard work, but apparently I’m being presumptuous.”

“How could you think that?” Jiang Bai exclaimed innocently, looking genuinely shocked. “I simply felt it wouldn’t be right to trouble the Director with such minor tasks.”

Quickly conjuring a reclining chair, he ushered her gently into it. “Please, Director, just relax. My cooking may not be spectacular, but at least it’s safe to eat.”

“Fine, fine, suit yourself.” With Jiang Bai being so insistent, Hu Tao reluctantly abandoned her plans to cook.

They weren’t in a hurry to return. As long as they reached Liyue Harbor before the Rite of Descension, they had plenty of time. She’d have many more opportunities to cook later.

Jiang Bai thoroughly washed the cabbages and radishes he’d plundered from the Fatui, chopped them roughly, and tossed everything into the pot, adding peeled potatoes, onions, ginger, garlic, dried bamboo shoots, and cured meat.

After simmering for a good fifteen minutes, his nutritious, hearty stew was ready.

Hu Tao tasted a spoonful. It was a chaotic mix of flavors—far from delicious—but at least edible and safe.

Jiang Bai sampled his cooking, reasonably satisfied.

While mediocre, it still far surpassed Hu Tao’s culinary disasters.

The heavy rain continued to pour down. They sat by the cave entrance, quietly eating and watching the storm.

The fire crackled cheerfully, chasing away both the chill and humidity brought by the rain.

If not for all their ambitions and troubles, moments like these were honestly quite enjoyable.

Staring out at the relentless downpour, Jiang Bai suddenly turned to Hu Tao.

“Hey, Director, did the previous Director ever leave behind any last wishes? Like, did he ever mention who you should marry or who you should choose as a husband?”

Hu Tao shot him a curious glance. “Why are you suddenly asking?”

“Just curious! It’s an important life matter for you, Director!” Jiang Bai replied cheekily, grinning playfully. “As your loyal subordinate, of course I’m concerned about your lifelong happiness!”

Seeing Jiang Bai’s playful grin, Hu Tao inexplicably felt a bit irritated.

Her eyes gleamed mischievously. Pretending to think seriously, she replied slowly, “Come to think of it, when I was little, my grandfather did arrange a marriage for me…”

“What?!” Jiang Bai leaped from his seat, nearly spilling his bowl of vegetable stew. “An arranged marriage? With whom?!”

Setting her bowl down, Hu Tao crossed her arms again, openly amused at Jiang Bai’s exaggerated reaction. “Why the big fuss?”

“Of course I’m concerned for the Director’s happiness!” Jiang Bai declared righteously, wearing an expression that was clearly forced. “Isn’t it only natural for a subordinate to worry about his superior’s marital matters?”

Amused by his discomfort, Hu Tao grew more enthusiastic. “Oh? Since you’re so concerned, let me explain properly.”

“You know Chongyun, right? His family comes from a long line of exorcists living around Mt. Tianheng. My grandfather, as Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, was incredibly close friends with his grandfather—so close that they were practically inseparable.”

Hu Tao watched Jiang Bai’s expression darken with growing unease, clearly enjoying every moment.

Jiang Bai felt alarm bells ringing in his head. He swallowed nervously, feeling his throat go dry.

Satisfied with Jiang Bai’s anxious reaction, Hu Tao casually crossed her legs and continued cheerfully.

“Back then, they made a promise: If their grandchildren were a boy and a girl, they’d marry; if they were both boys or both girls, they’d become sworn siblings. And well, Chongyun and I just happen to be a boy and a girl…”

Jiang Bai’s expression soured dramatically, his heart filling with hostility toward Chongyun.

Damn you, Chongyun! You seem so quiet and harmless, yet who’d have guessed you had such a hidden relationship with the Director!

Unforgivable!

Poor Chongyun had unknowingly received blame for a relationship he himself had never heard of.

“So, you see, Chongyun and I have this sort of special relationship…” Hu Tao concluded, smiling smugly as Jiang Bai visibly fretted.

Jiang Bai, growing increasingly flustered, sank miserably into his seat.

“I never knew about this…until now.”

“Oh? You don’t look too happy about it,” Hu Tao teased knowingly.

“Such informal promises by elders can hardly be considered serious!” Jiang Bai hurriedly insisted. “Honestly, Chongyun isn’t suitable for you at all, Director. He’s far too dull—always obsessed with his training. Life with someone like him would be dreadfully boring for you. You should really reconsider carefully.”

Though Jiang Bai tried to conceal it, traces of jealousy seeped through his words.

“You have a point,” Hu Tao mused thoughtfully, resting her chin on her hand and fixing Jiang Bai with her clear, flower-like eyes. “Then tell me—who do you think is suitable for me?”

Under her intense gaze, Jiang Bai’s heartbeat quickened strangely. Forcing himself to remain calm, he began rattling off exaggerated criteria:

“Obviously someone who shares common interests and can have fun with you! Their looks can’t be bad, either, and they’d need to be strong enough to protect you. Plus, they’d require good business sense to help Wangsheng Funeral Parlor prosper further…”

Hu Tao pretended to ponder deeply, her eyes bright with mischief. “Now that you mention it… Xingqiu actually sounds like the perfect candidate…”

—

T/N: LMAOOO HU TAO STOP TEASING THE MAN

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!