Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [40]

After returning to Liyue Harbor by boat, the two of them carried a full basket of crabs straight to Wanmin Restaurant.

Though the crabs had almost been forgotten, they were surprisingly resilient and still lively.

They handed half the basket over to Xiangling, keeping the rest for the undertakers at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to enjoy later.

In the kitchen of Wanmin Restaurant, Xiangling picked up a crab and curiously asked, “Where did you get so many crabs?”

“We caught them at Guyun Stone Forest—there were tons on the beach.”

Beside her, Guoba watched the crabs scuttle around in the basin. Amused, he reached in to grab one.

Unfortunately, instead of catching a crab, he got caught—one of them clamped down on his paw.

With a pained whimper, his eyes welled up with tears as he pitifully held out his trapped paw for Xiangling to see.

Just as she was excitedly discussing their next crab-hunting trip to Guyun Stone Forest with Hu Tao, Xiangling saw what happened and immediately jumped up. She pried the crab’s claws open, freeing Guoba while laughing and fussing over him at the same time.

Meanwhile, Hu Tao was too busy enjoying the spectacle to notice Jiang Bai quietly picking up a crab and sneaking it into her hair.

Then he turned away, gazing at the ceiling, feigning complete innocence.

Moments later, Hu Tao felt something odd on her head. When she reached up and looked down, she found a crab dangling from her hair.

“MY HAIR!”

Her first instinct was to pinpoint the culprit. “Jiang Bai, was this you?!”

Jiang Bai turned back to her, eyes wide with mock confusion. “Huh? What? What happened?”

“The crab in my hair—did you put it there?!” she demanded, flames of fury igniting in her eyes.

“I was just admiring the scenery. Maybe the crab climbed up there by itself?”

“Bullshit! I was standing still! How could a crab possibly climb onto my head?!”

There were only a few of them in the room. If it wasn’t him, who else could it be? Was Jiang Bai trying to fool a ghost?

Without hesitation, Hu Tao grabbed the crab and hurled it at him.

The little creature landed right on Jiang Bai’s head, latching onto his hair. Within moments, more crabs followed suit, turning his head into a makeshift crab nest.

“I was wrong! Spare me! Spare me, Director Hu…!”

Watching Jiang Bai’s head get swarmed by crabs, Xiangling and Guoba couldn’t hold back their laughter.

“I just picked some Qingxin flowers, Sweet Flowers, and mushrooms, and I even got some Slime Condensate. I wonder how they’d taste if I cooked them with the crabs…” Xiangling whispered conspiratorially to Guoba.

Guoba nodded rapidly. Let them eat it! Let them eat it all! He, on the other hand, would stick to normal crab dishes.

Laughter and playful bickering echoed from the kitchen. At the front of the restaurant, Chef Mao shook his head with a helpless smile.

Kids these days… Their happiness is so simple.

…

After much effort washing and preparing the crabs, the feast was finally complete.

The table was packed with dishes:

• Slime-Fried Crab—coated in Fire Slime Condensate and deep-fried to a golden crisp.

• Sweet-Infused Crab—crab shells stuffed with Sweet Flowers.

• Mushroom-Slime Crab Soup.

• Qingxin Stewed Crab.

• Crab Roe Noodles.

• Steamed Crab.

• Spicy Crab.

• Dry Pot Crab.

A full spread, filling the entire table.

Jiang Bai swallowed hard, while Hu Tao’s face turned slightly green.

“Come on, try my new dishes!”

Xiangling enthusiastically placed her experimental creations in front of them.

Jiang Bai grabbed a crab from the Sweet-Infused Crab dish and took a bite. Hu Tao, hands trembling slightly, picked up a piece of Qingxin Stewed Crab with her chopsticks.

Though Qingxin flowers were bitter, they were still preferable to the questionable texture of Slime Condensate.

She braced herself for the bitterness—only to be surprised. It wasn’t as bad as she’d expected. While the meat had a slight bitter undertone, it was still tender and edible.

Meanwhile, Jiang Bai, after taking a bite of the Sweet-Infused Crab, had a strange expression on his face.

“This dish… I think it needs more spice.”

Crab wasn’t suited for sweet flavors. Even he, someone who loved sweets, found it a little hard to stomach. However, if it were turned into a sweet-and-spicy dish, it might work.

The broth, on the other hand, was great—sweet and flavorful. He drank several spoonfuls.

Xiangling nodded excitedly and jotted down his feedback in her notebook.

“These two dishes are left—one for each of you!”

“…Let Jiang Bai try them both,” Hu Tao immediately pushed her plate toward him.

She really didn’t want to eat whatever monstrosity had been created with Slime Condensate.

Jiang Bai, having never tried Slime Condensate before, was curious and didn’t refuse.

He picked up a piece of the fried crab and popped it into his mouth.

The outer layer—coated in Slime Condensate—had a texture similar to jelly, though firmer, almost like a thick gel. It was flavorless.

Because it came from a Fire Slime, there was a faint burning sensation upon biting into it. The texture was bizarre, like chewing on rubber.

As for the crab meat inside, since it had been marinated beforehand and sealed within the Slime Condensate, it retained its juiciness even after frying.

“The idea of coating crab in Slime Condensate isn’t bad, but the Condensate itself tastes awful. You should remove the outer layer after frying before serving.”

“The soup, on the other hand, tastes like a regular crab soup. The Slime Condensate didn’t add anything, so you might as well leave it out.”

Jiang Bai gave his critiques while eating, earning a silent thumbs-up from Hu Tao.

A true warrior… someone who dares to face Slime Condensate head-on.

“Thank you so much for your feedback! I’ll definitely try your suggestions next time!” Xiangling beamed, her passion for culinary experimentation reignited.

“…Can I eat the normal food now?” Hu Tao weakly pointed at the regular crab dishes.

“But you haven’t told me how the new dishes tasted yet!”

“Qingxin shouldn’t be cooked with seafood. It felt like I was eating medicine instead of crab…” Hu Tao sighed, sounding utterly drained.

She was starving.

“Alright, I’ll try something else next time—”

“LET’S EAT!”

“Lulu~!” Guoba cheered happily, finally able to dig in.

…

After stuffing themselves, the two returned to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

Hu Tao let out a satisfied burp and instructed the undertakers to send the remaining crabs to the kitchen for an extra meal.

“We’ll rest tonight. Tomorrow, we’re heading to Huaguang Stone Forest.”

“Alright.” Jiang Bai nodded, grabbing a roasted crab before heading toward Zhongli’s courtyard.

There were still many things he wanted to ask the consultant—and, of course, he had to brag about his discoveries at Guyun Stone Forest.

“Director Zhongli, are you here?” Jiang Bai poked his head through the courtyard gate.

Inside, Zhongli was sipping tea in quiet contemplation. Seeing Jiang Bai arrive, he smiled faintly.

“You’re back.”

“Hehe, just returned from Guyun Stone Forest. Brought you something to go with your wine,” Jiang Bai grinned, lifting the container of crabs.

These were actually leftovers from Wanmin Restaurant that they had packed up—but, of course, there was no need to mention that.

Zhongli picked up a wine cup and poured Jiang Bai a drink.

“Much appreciated. How was your trip?”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!