Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [282]

The old obaa-san who made the kites clearly knew her stuff—once Zhongli explained their purpose, she understood immediately.

“Kites offered to the Anemo Archon—those, I let the paint wander freely outside the lines. But for the ones offered to the Lord of Geo, the patterns must be painted properly, true to the design.”

Zhongli picked up a purple kite and examined it closely. “The spiral sense of the thunder patterns on this one is very well done—just like the eternity Raiden Shogun desires.”

“Raiden Shogun… seeks eternity?” This was the first Jiang Bai had heard of it.

“Mn.” Zhongli nodded.

Jiang Bai was surprised.

There’s a saying—lightning is a momentary flash, thunder a momentary roar—yet what it seeks is eternity.

Completely different from the freedom sought by the Anemo Archon, or the justice-through-contract sought by the Geo Archon.

Maybe it’s just that every god’s personality is different, and so what they seek is different. Their elemental attribute might not even be related to their pursuit.

Zhongli picked up another kite, the one representing the Dendro Archon, and admired it for a moment.

“The patterns of vegetation and the silver rings of tree age, woven skillfully into the frame—offered to Wisdom… most admirable.”

His gaze swept over the other kites. “The water’s-surface balance of Justice, the fiery blaze of War, and as for what the Cryo Archon once…”

Here his words paused. He skipped over what the Cryo Archon once cherished.

Jiang Bai, eager to know, scratched at his head. This was just like reading a novel that cut off right at the most exciting part—utterly unbearable.

Ignoring his frustration, Zhongli continued, “Very good. The details are all handled excellently.”

Jiang Bai pushed down his irritation and was just about to pay when Childe suddenly appeared.

“Well, fancy meeting you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Jiang Bai eyed him warily.

Childe spread his hands helplessly. “Don’t be so guarded. I only heard you were preparing for the Rite of Parting and wanted to see if there was anywhere I could help.”

“Then you’ve come at the perfect time—help pay for this.” Jiang Bai stepped aside from the counter.

“…Eh? That direct?”

“Didn’t you just say you wanted to help? This is helping.”

“…Am I only good for being a walking wallet?” Childe scratched his head helplessly, but still pulled out his purse and paid.

“Paying is the greatest help you can give us!” Jiang Bai said, then turned to Aether and Paimon. “Right?”

Both nodded at once. “That’s right, that’s right!”

With logic this brutally realistic, what could Childe do?

He could only spread his hands. “So realistic…”

“Help us carry these to Yujing Terrace,” Zhongli said.

The seven kites were not small—awkward to carry.

“No problem!”

Jiang Bai, Aether, and Childe each took two, with the last one held above her head by Paimon. As for Zhongli, his hands were clasped behind his back, walking ahead to lead the way.

“How’s the preparation for the Rite of Parting going?” Childe asked, seemingly casually.

“Still in the works. Why? Is the great Executive-sama planning to give us some financial support?”

If his hands weren’t full, Jiang Bai would’ve already slung an arm over his shoulder, all buddy-buddy, and discussed just how many mora he should donate.

“This is for the Lord of Geo’s Rite of Parting! If you’re going to support it, then it’s gotta be at least a few million mora!”

Childe: (°Д°)

He had never expected that coming out to fish for information would end with him being extorted—for millions!

“Support isn’t a problem, but… doesn’t seem like it does me any good.”

“How can you say that? Liyue and Snezhnaya are friendly allied nations—when one side’s in trouble, isn’t it only natural the other lends a hand?”

“Besides, the Archon’s return to the heavens is a huge event. Shouldn’t you at least convey the Cryo Archon’s grief? If she’s too far away to come herself, then as her subordinate, you’re not being very sharp if you don’t show any sign, are you?”

A god of equal standing has passed, and the Cryo Archon doesn’t send anything? The morals of the gods are truly in decline!

The more Jiang Bai thought about it, the more sense it made. He turned to Aether. “The Anemo Archon should know the Geo Archon, right? With something this big, how can he not show any sign either? After we fly the kites, go to Mond and fetch him—invite him to the banquet, and make sure he brings some gift money!”

It’s a banquet—how could you not give a gift?

Zhongli: “…”

He pressed a hand to his forehead, troubled. The last person he wanted to see right now was that drunkard.

Paimon nodded seriously. “That’s right! Something this big, we have to tell the Anemo Archon! Let’s go back to Mondstadt later and get him to hurry over!”

Aether blinked.

…Wait. He’d never told Jiang Bai he could use the teleport waypoints. How did he know?

He shot Paimon a suspicious glance. Had she told him behind his back?

When we’re done here, I’m asking Jiang Bai about this.

Seeing they were actually serious, Zhongli had to stop. “Liyue is in a precarious time. Better not to invite another nation’s Archon here.”

“Why?” Jiang Bai was puzzled. “We were going to have the Anemo Archon come in mortal guise—it should be fine, right?”

“Yeah, yeah! If the Anemo Archon comes, it’ll just be us who know,” Paimon chimed in.

Childe: Did you all forget I’m here?

Zhongli: “…”

He couldn’t exactly say he didn’t want that drunkard to come laugh at him for hosting his own funeral.

“I also think inviting the Anemo Archon is fine,” Aether added.

With how Venti didn’t care about anything, would he meddle in Liyue’s troubles? Not a chance.

“Having the Anemo Archon at the Geo Archon’s Rite of Parting—the Director would definitely support me on that.” Jiang Bai truly couldn’t think of a downside.

Well… maybe just… more alcohol consumed?

Zhongli: “…”

Now that everyone had spoken, what could he even say?

Forget it—refusing wouldn’t help. Even if that drunkard didn’t know now, he would find out sooner or later.

—

Mondstadt.

Venti was sprawled on a rooftop, sunbathing and sipping dandelion wine.

A gentle breeze coiled around his ears, bringing tidings from afar.

Suddenly he sat bolt upright, eyes glinting with interest.

“Oh-ho, someone’s inviting me to Old Man’s funeral? I absolutely have to go!”

Then his face fell into thought. “…But if I don’t bring any gift money, they might throw me out…”

His gaze shifted, landing on the dandelions outside the city walls. “Eheh—then I’ll bring a few dandelions! Personally picked by the Anemo Archon—put them on the Rite of Parting altar and Old Man will surely like them!”

“And wine. I’ll have to go dig up a jar from Windrise—Old Man must be missing my dandelion wine by now…”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!