Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [103]

“Got it, no problem. I’m heading out right now!”

Jiang Bai leapt to his feet with a loud whoosh.

Any issue can be solved—with enough Mora. As long as the pay’s good, going to Dragonspine alone? No problem. Going solo into the desert? He’d do that too.

Hu Tao watched him leave, full of energy and confidence, and silently rolled her eyes before returning to her fishing.

If money can solve it, it’s not really a problem.

Still, she couldn’t keep using that trick. Otherwise, all the Mora she worked so hard to earn would just vanish like that.

Even if Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was wealthy and didn’t care about losing a bit of Mora, she certainly did.

“Come to think of it, didn’t Zhongli submit another reimbursement recently? For more teacups again, no less. He’s bought so many sets at this point, he could use a new one every day for a month and still not repeat himself… When I get back, I’m deducting it straight from his salary. Maybe I’ll swipe a few premium sets while I’m at it…”

Hu Tao propped her chin on her palm, muttering to herself, while in the water below, a lobster casually snuck the bait off her line and swam away like nothing happened.

—

Meanwhile, Jiang Bai returned to the funeral parlor and began checking his gear.

He’d already checked it a few times before, but considering this involved his life, one more time wouldn’t hurt.

“Plenty of food packed, two sets of thick clothing, enough firewood… ropes, ice picks, gloves, scarves—all accounted for… The only thing left is the most crucial of all—firestone!”

He solemnly placed the firestone in the most accessible spot inside his Sanqing Bell storage charm.

He didn’t have Hu Tao’s ability to spark flames just by rubbing her fingers together. If he wanted fire, this firestone was all he had to rely on.

Not that he hadn’t tried forming a connection with Pyro constructs in hopes of attuning to the element. He’d touched open flames, even tried patting Xiangling’s Guoba—nothing worked. His hand almost got roasted instead.

Though, to be fair, Guoba did feel kind of nice. Fuzzy. Definitely a living creature, not a pure fire-elemental construct.

He’d also tried connecting with Hydro—flowing water, morning dew… no luck there either. Still no sign of any affinity. So far, the only element he could actually use was Geo.

He figured maybe the elemental constructs he tried connecting with were just too ordinary—insufficiently powerful to serve as conduits.

As for why the Geo constructs Zhongli summoned seemed to awaken a resonance within him?
Well, that was a question for Zhongli himself.

Who knew what kind of secret identity this so-called “guest consultant” of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor really had?

At this point, Jiang Bai had resigned himself to a “leave it to fate” approach with the other elements.
Hey, maybe one day it’ll just happen out of the blue.

He pulled out a map of Liyue and began planning his route.

Though the map was of Liyue, Dragonspine lay along the border, so part of the mountain range could still be seen.

For navigating the interior of Dragonspine, though, he’d need a dedicated snow mountain map.

“There’s a leyline waypoint near Wangshu Inn. I activated it last time—should be able to teleport straight there and cut the journey in half.”

“But from Wangshu Inn to Dragonspine, there’s still some distance to cover. I’ll have to hike the rest.”

After finalizing his route, Jiang Bai reported to the Ritual Keeper on duty and set off without delay.

He tied the tall funeral banner marked Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to his back and marched out proudly.

The two teleport waypoints in Liyue Harbor were in busy areas. If he didn’t want to reveal his ability to use waypoints, he couldn’t just teleport in broad daylight. People seeing someone vanish into thin air might cause a bit of a stir.

So he opted to use the waypoint just outside the city instead—much safer that way.

As for what would happen if Xiao spotted him teleporting into Wangshu Inn?
Not Jiang Bai’s problem.

For one, Xiao was elusive and might not even be around. And if he was there, Jiang Bai could just make something up—say he was practicing teleportation magic.

Given Xiao could teleport himself, surely that wouldn’t sound too outlandish?

Sure, traveling alone was a bit boring—but also way more convenient.

Jiang Bai strolled down the road humming a tune, not at all concerned if anyone considered it noise pollution.

“Eldest hilichurl got sick.”

“The second one took care.”

“The third one brought the medicine.”

“Fourth hilichurl prepared.”

Singing Hu Tao’s silly hilichurl rhyme, Jiang Bai, seeing no one around, reached out and activated the waypoint—vanishing on the spot.

His figure coursed through the leyline network and reappeared atop Wangshu Inn.

There weren’t many guests at the inn today, and no one noticed his sudden arrival.
Jiang Bai looked left, then right, then casually made his way over to the railing.

He pulled out the map and compared it to his surroundings, planning to glide part of the way and save himself some walking.

Sitting on the roof’s edge, watching distant Guyun Stone Forest, Xiao glanced briefly in Jiang Bai’s direction—then looked away.

He didn’t care how Jiang Bai got there. Didn’t care where he was going.

He had far more important duties to tend to than wasting time on trivial nonsense.

“Which way’s best to climb up from here…”

Jiang Bai squinted at the map, brow furrowed.

From this angle, there didn’t seem to be a direct path from the Liyue side to Dragonspine.

Even standing atop Wangshu Inn and gazing toward the mountain, all he could see were rugged cliffs and thick layers of snow and ice. He’d probably have to find a roundabout way up.

“You look like you’ve got something on your mind, young man.”

Innkeeper Huai’an had noticed Jiang Bai standing there with a troubled look on his face and walked over to check in.

“I need to get to Dragonspine, but I don’t know which route to take,” Jiang Bai answered honestly.

“To tell the truth, I’m from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. I’m heading there to collect a client’s remains—but it’s my first time going, and I’ve got no idea where to start…”

As he spoke, he slipped in a little plug for the parlor.

Huai’an had already guessed as much from the tall funeral banner on his back, and couldn’t help but ask, “Wangsheng Parlor does corpse retrieval now?”

Jiang Bai wasn’t about to let a prime sales opportunity go to waste.

After all, just one successful pitch meant a ten-thousand-Mora commission. At this point, everyone looked like a walking wallet to him.

He whipped out a flyer and stuffed it into the innkeeper’s hands.
“Our newest service—Returning to the Roots! On-site bookings now available!”

“Judging by your fine health and upright posture, you probably won’t need this any time soon. But I bet some of your friends and family might! We’re just launching, so we’re running a special: only 888,888 Mora with this flyer!”

“Refer someone and you’ll get a bonus. Group purchases get even more discounts!”

He had only come to ask for directions… but somehow found himself giving out a full business pitch.

It took Huai’an a moment to process everything. He carefully looked over the flyer and then asked, dead serious:

“…How much is the referral bonus?”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!