Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [326]

After leaving the library, Jiang Bai headed straight to The Good Hunter for dinner.

He hadn’t seen Klee in ages. Since he was in Mondstadt anyway, he might as well drop by and see her—and Albedo.

Too bad there wasn’t any convenient way to get in touch first. He didn’t even know if they’d be home, and letters were far too slow. By the time a reply arrived, he’d already be here.

He ordered Sweet Madame, Mondstadt Grilled Fish, and Honey Carrot Grilled Meat. He ate the grilled meat on the spot, then packed up the rest to go and carried it over to Klee’s place.

Luck was on his side today. Both Klee and Albedo were home.

“Jiang Bai!” The moment she saw him, Klee nearly bounced off the floor.

It was evening, so her hair was loose, she was in comfy pajamas, her hat was nowhere in sight, and her usual backpack sat off to the side.

Jiang Bai ruffled her hair. “Long time no see. Miss me?”

“I did!” Klee nodded so hard her hair bobbed. “I missed Jiang Bai a lot! A lot! And I really, really want to go fish-blasting with you!”

Albedo looked helpless. “Klee…”

This child. If it wasn’t bombs, it was blasting fish.

“Why the sudden visit?” Albedo took the bag from Jiang Bai’s hand, studying him with curiosity. “You didn’t even write ahead.”

“You know as well as I do—by the time a letter arrives, I’m already here.” Jiang Bai spread his hands.

“Actually, can you make something for long-distance contact? Then even if I’m in Liyue, I could reach you directly instead of having to make the trip.”

Albedo shook his head immediately. “No. I’m an alchemist. And you… seem to have some misunderstandings about alchemy.”

If Alice—Aunt Alice—were the one doing it, maybe she could research and build something like that. But he specialized in creating life. This wasn’t his area.

“Do I?” Jiang Bai argued. “You made those warm-air machines and heating crystals just fine. Seems like you’re pretty good at it.”

He didn’t think he’d misunderstood alchemy at all.

After all, turning useless things into useful things—that was exactly what Albedo had always shown him.

Albedo looked a little tired. “That’s just applying elemental energy to make small tools that guide it. It’s not alchemy.”

Before Jiang Bai came to Mondstadt, most locals thought alchemy was little more than gluing broken pieces together—saving a bit of adhesive at best.

But in Jiang Bai’s mind, it had become creating something from nothing.

If Albedo could really do that, he would’ve finished the problem his teacher gave him long ago.

“Alright,” Jiang Bai said, conceding. “Forget it.”

Since Albedo said it couldn’t be done, he had no choice but to drop the idea.

Getting Teyvat into an era of instant communication… yeah, that was probably asking too much.

“I came this time to learn Hilichurlian. And, you know—check in on you two.”

He opened the takeaway box and pulled out the grilled fish, handing it to Klee. “This is grilled fish from The Good Hunter!”

“Yay! Grilled fish!” Klee’s eyes sparkled.

“Klee,” Albedo reminded her gently, “you already ate dinner. Don’t eat too much.”

“Okaaay~” Klee took the fish happily and started nibbling in tiny bites, looking absurdly content.

Jiang Bai and Albedo split the Sweet Madame. They’d both eaten already, but it made a perfect late-night snack.

“Learning Hilichurlian?” Albedo asked. “How far along are you?”

“Some. I’m planning to visit a hilichurl tribe I met in a cave on Dragonspine. That tribe’s… special.”

Albedo’s interest perked up. “Special how?”

“The first time I went, they seemed to recognize me. They didn’t show any hostility. And their social structure didn’t look like the tribes outside. They even gave me a gift.”

Jiang Bai took out the small mask the hilichurl shaman had given him.

He hadn’t worn it, but he’d kept it carefully stored.

“They gave you a gift?” Albedo looked even more surprised.

He took the mask and examined it. Nothing unusual—just an ordinary wooden mask. The craftsmanship was rough, but it was unmistakably hilichurl-made.

“Mind if I come with you?”

He was genuinely intrigued by the tribe Jiang Bai described.

Jiang Bai hesitated. He worried outsiders might affect the tribe—but after a moment’s thought, he agreed.

Albedo was reliable, and he was often active on Dragonspine. Sooner or later, he might stumble onto that tribe anyway. If anything happened later, Albedo could keep an eye out.

“I was going to use a Teleport Waypoint,” Jiang Bai said with a sigh. “Looks like we’ll have to travel the hard way.”

A bit of a shame. If you could teleport, who would choose to slog along the road?

Klee’s sharp little ears twitched. She’d caught something interesting.

She ran over with quick thump-thump-thump footsteps, staring up at them with big, round eyes.

“Where are you going? Klee wants to go too!”

Albedo’s head started to ache. “Klee, we’re going to do research. Why don’t you stay home and play? Tomorrow I’ll ask Kaeya to take you fish-blasting.”

At the mention of fish-blasting, Klee wavered.

She wanted to blast fish… but she also wanted to go out with them.

In the end, the urge to go with them won.

Fish-blasting could happen anytime. Getting to go adventuring with Jiang Bai didn’t come around often.

“No! Klee wants to go with you!”

Albedo knew instantly there was no talking her out of it. He looked to Jiang Bai, silently asking his opinion.

Jiang Bai thought it over. He’d already be bringing Albedo—adding Klee wasn’t that much extra.

Still, he needed to set the rules up front. “You can come, but we’re going to a place where hilichurls live. There’ll be a lot of hilichurls. Are you sure you still want to go?”

“I want to go! I want to go!” Klee nodded hard. “Klee is super strong! Klee isn’t afraid of hilichurls!”

“Those hilichurls are my friends,” Jiang Bai said seriously. “You can’t hurt them. If you want to come, we’ll make a deal—three rules.”

“No problem! Klee is a good kid! Klee will be very obedient!”

She nodded like a little rattle drum, even more excited now that she might make friends with hilichurls.

At her age, she hadn’t formed a fixed sense of good and evil yet. Influenced by the people around her, she believed hilichurls were monsters that needed to be driven away—but she didn’t hate them, and she didn’t take pleasure in hurting hilichurls or slimes.

She liked blasting fish, sure—but fish didn’t have minds. That didn’t count as cruelty.

All in all, she was a slightly mischievous good kid.

Jiang Bai raised a finger. “First: you listen to us and don’t run off. Second: you don’t throw bombs whenever you feel like it. Third: you don’t hurt anyone—including hilichurls.”

“No problem!”

After resting for the night, they set out early the next morning. Albedo brought out two horses. He lifted Klee up, and the two of them rode out with Jiang Bai, galloping across Mondstadt’s fields.

Klee sat on the saddle with Albedo’s arm around her to steady her, arms spread wide as she cheered, having the time of her life.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!