Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [323]

“Director~ Whatcha doing~?”

Hu Tao, currently locked in an intense staring contest with the medicinal concoction in front of her, barely flicked an eyebrow at Jiang Bai’s voice. Chin propped in her palms, she continued glaring at the bowl of pitch-black liquid without moving an inch.

Jiang Bai plopped into the chair opposite her. “Medicine?”

She gave him a sidelong glance, clearly lacking enthusiasm. “You sure slept a long time.”

Earlier, she’d peeked into his room and found him sleeping soundly, deciding not to disturb him.

“Long? Felt like just a quick nap to me.” Jiang Bai looked bewildered.

“It’s already the next evening.”

“Seriously? No wonder I feel so refreshed,” Jiang Bai muttered, rubbing his stomach. “But I’m starving.”

“Sigh…” Hu Tao let out a mournful breath, her expression gloomy.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to drink this stuff.” Her face scrunched bitterly.

It was common knowledge that Doctor Baizhu’s prescriptions were legendary for their bitterness. Perhaps seeking petty revenge, he’d spiked Hu Tao’s medicine with a near-lethal dose of coptis root—taking bitterness to new, unimaginable heights.

One sip was enough to ruin her appetite for the entire day.

“You’ve gotta drink it, Director. It’s the only way you’ll recover quickly!” Jiang Bai strictly opposed defying medical instructions.

“Sigh…”

Accepting her fate, Hu Tao pinched her nose shut, squeezed her eyes closed, and downed the entire bowl in one brave gulp.

The sheer bitterness surged through her senses, flooding her mouth and throat. With heroic willpower, she managed to finish it off, then collapsed onto the table, arms dangling lifelessly. Her eyes lost all luster, as though she’d given up on life itself.

Can it really be that bad?

Unable to resist his curiosity, Jiang Bai dipped a finger into the remnants of the medicine and tasted a tiny drop.

Instantly, his face cycled through a spectacular array of colors—pale white, nauseous green, purplish-blue—as though someone were flipping through a color palette.

He immediately pulled out a jar of Sweet Flower nectar and desperately chugged it down.

Only after finishing the whole jar did the torturous bitterness finally subside.

He shot Hu Tao a respectful glance. She had swallowed an entire bowl of this monstrosity and only lost the will to live.

He’d nearly lost his life.

“Here, Director, have some candy.” Jiang Bai quickly fished out a jar of sweets wrapped in rice paper.

These candies were made from super-sweet Sweet Flowers cultivated from seeds that Sucrose had provided. Each one contained enough sugar to rival ten normal sweets.

Unfortunately, overwhelming sweetness was all they offered, making them extremely unpopular.

But right now, these candies were nothing short of miraculous.

Jiang Bai popped one directly into Hu Tao’s mouth. The sweetness spread, and she finally felt a flicker of life returning.

“Have a couple more,” Jiang Bai encouraged, already pulling out another.

Hu Tao rolled her eyes. “Who do you think I am—someone with your freakish sweet tooth?”

At that moment, the tiny ghost emerged from Hu Tao’s ring, giggling behind its hand.

It had been severely weakened for a long while and had only recently regained some energy after their latest underground escapade.

Feeling indulgent, Jiang Bai offered it a candy as well. “Want one too?”

The little ghost furrowed its thick eyebrows and placed its hands indignantly on its hips.

It was a ghost—how exactly was it supposed to eat candy?

“Haha, you can’t~” Jiang Bai teased.

Even more irritated, the ghost immediately turned to Hu Tao to complain, gesturing furiously as if it had suffered an unspeakable injustice.

Hu Tao casually grabbed its tail and released it, sending the ghost floating off in a frustrated huff.

Apart from teasing Hu Tao, Jiang Bai had another reason for visiting.

“Director, I plan on heading to Mondstadt tomorrow.”

It was customary to inform Hu Tao whenever he intended to leave town for a while.

“Mondstadt? For what?”

“To find the hilichurl linguistics expert.”

He’d mentioned this a while ago but kept forgetting. Now, having recovered most of his memories and finding some free time, it felt right to visit Dragonspine again.

As for the tea needed for his discipleship gift, collecting morning dew each day wouldn’t cause any delays.

“Alright, go ahead. Contact me if you need anything.” Hu Tao saw no reason to object; Jiang Bai could freely come and go as he pleased.

…

Early the next morning, after collecting today’s dew from the Glaze Lilies, Jiang Bai arrived in Mondstadt City.

After a brief consideration, he decided to find Kaeya first.

When it came to locating the hilichurl linguist, his dear “good brother” would certainly be helpful.

Tracking Kaeya down proved trickier than expected. The Cavalry Captain—essentially a one-man unit—had a habit of popping up just about anywhere.

Finally, Jiang Bai found him lounging at the bar inside the Cat’s Tail Tavern.

Kaeya leaned lazily against the counter, idly tossing Mora into the air, clearly waiting to sample something from the cute bartender’s latest concoctions.

Noticing Jiang Bai, Kaeya waved cheerfully.

“Oh? What brings my good brother all the way here?”

Jiang Bai smoothly draped an arm over his shoulder. “Just wanted to see how my best brother was doing, of course.”

How sincere either of them was with the phrase “good brother” was anyone’s guess.

“Oh—?” Jiang Bai’s attention shifted to the small bartender behind the counter.

She appeared quite young—just slightly older than Klee. Standing atop a stool, her feline ears twitched adorably, and her fluffy cat-tail swished rhythmically behind her.

He’d seen plenty of cat-ear accessories in Liyue, but those were all clearly fake or just hair styled into ears. This girl’s genuine cat features instantly piqued his curiosity.

With a sour expression, Diona pushed a freshly mixed drink toward Kaeya, a drink clearly filled with dubious ingredients.

Kaeya enthusiastically took a sip, then praised it lavishly. “Your skills get better and better, Diona!”

Jiang Bai had watched closely. She’d clearly added things like lizard tails and octopus ink into the glass. How could something like that possibly taste good?

But rather than brightening at Kaeya’s praise, Diona’s mood sank even further. She puffed out her cheeks angrily.

Kaeya tossed a Mora coin onto the counter. “Another Diona Special for my dear brother here.”

Scowling, Diona grudgingly swept the coin away and began mixing again.

Noticing Jiang Bai’s confusion, Kaeya quickly filled him in. “This is Diona. Don’t be fooled by her size—she’s Mondstadt’s most famous bartender.”

“But—is someone her age really allowed to work here?”

Initially, Jiang Bai assumed the cat-eared girl just appeared young but was actually an adult. He hadn’t expected her to truly be a child.

Who’d let their kid work in a bar? Were her parents irresponsible—or was she perhaps an orphan forced to support herself?

“If you have the skill, why not?” Kaeya shrugged nonchalantly.

Jiang Bai fell silent.

In Teyvat, minors couldn’t legally drink alcohol—but hiring child bartenders was perfectly acceptable?

And in a place as chaotic as a tavern?

He couldn’t help feeling slightly disoriented.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!