Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [286]

For three thousand seven hundred years, the Archon had labored diligently, faithfully adhering to his duties, never once slackening.

While the adepti withdrew into the mountains for millennia, ignoring the affairs of the mortal world, the Archon never rested.

Now, at last, had come the time when he wished to lay his burdens down.

They did not oppose the Archon’s decision. Only felt lost.

Without the Archon—what kind of Liyue would it be? Could peace be maintained? And toward what future would it move?

“Since the Archon has already chosen, then it falls to us to keep watch over what direction Liyue takes without him,” Moon Carver raised a foreleg, bringing this fruitless discussion to a halt.

“Tomorrow, let us set out for Liyue Harbor. We must go there in the end.”

—

At dawn, reaching Mt. Tianheng, Venti hopped down from Dvalin’s back and patted his old friend on the head.

“Just drop me here. Go on back quick, or the people of Liyue will take a swing at you if they spot you!”

“Hmph!”

The dragon-as-beast-of-burden swung his body in irritation, turned, and presented his rear to the bard. With a beat of wings he sent him tumbling to the ground.

Venti rubbed his sore backside, baring his teeth at the dragon’s retreating form. “I only asked for a ride. Was that really necessary…”

As soon as he said it, Dvalin wheeled back, loosing a wind blast.

Venti scrambled into the air, grinning awkwardly. “I was wrong, I was wrong! I’ll play for you when I get back!”

“Hmph!”

Only then did Dvalin finally fly off.

—

In the morning, Zhongli pushed open his door—and the first thing he saw was a pair of legs dangling down from the eaves.

A moment later, a familiar head, with improbable flexibility, peeked out upside-down between them.

“Hi! Long time no see, did you miss me?”

Zhongli’s lips curved faintly. In the next instant, he grabbed the dangling braid and yanked the man down from the eaves.

“Sit and break my tiles, and you’ll be paying.”

Venti hopped to his feet, dusted himself off. “Old friend, it’s been ages, and the very first thing you do is get rough with me. That wounds me deeply.”

“If you weren’t here just to stir up trouble, I’d be happier.” Zhongli opened the guest room door and led him inside to sit.

“I came because I was invited! Absolutely not to watch Old Man giving himself a funeral!” Venti spoke with conviction, but the smile tugging at his face betrayed him.

Zhongli cast him a glance and decided to ignore that detail.

Seeing the old man not quibbling with him, Venti pushed further. “So—how does it feel, holding your own funeral?”

He was genuinely curious.

Zhongli shot him a sidelong look. “If you truly want to know, I can give you the experience right now.”

“No, no, no need!” Venti waved his hands quickly. The old man was too vicious—he wasn’t ready to be buried yet.

“This time, I came specially to see you—and I even brought good wine!” Venti pulled out aged dandelion wine he’d dug up at Windrise, along with two oak cups, and poured them both full.

Wine slid down his throat, and Zhongli’s gaze turned wistful. “…Indeed, it has been long since I last drank this.”

Venti raised his large cup and gulped it down noisily. “Same here. It’s been so long since we drank together.”

Years passing, seas turning to fields, the world shifting—but breeze and stone, once in a while, still met again.

Zhongli lifted his head toward the morning sun just risen outside the window. “When at last my burdens are fully laid down, I will have time to come drink with you often.”

Venti’s cheeks already showed the flush of drunkenness—he never kept his shape once touched by wine. “I say, you should’ve let go long ago! Look at me—so carefree, so free~”

Expressionless, Zhongli spoke words like a blade. “A god who neglected his duties, nearly let his people be seized by the Abyss Order, and even had his [Gnosis] taken by the Fatui… to say ‘doing nothing’ so self-righteously.”

“Aw, don’t say it like that. I dislike ruling. The people of Mond dislike being ruled. Simple as that.” Venti showed not the slightest shame, belched a wine hiccup, and downed another gulp.

“As for the [Gnosis] being taken—come on, I’m a god who abandoned rule. What divine power did I have left? I really couldn’t win.”

“Keep pretending. Just keep pretending.”

“Hey now, don’t say pretending. It’s the truth! How can the truth be called pretending?”

Zhongli ignored the nonsense and stretched out his hand. “Because of your feigned death, my disciple broke his leg. Pay up.”

Venti almost spat his mouthful of wine. “Your disciple?! Since when is he your disciple?!”

“Not formally yet. But I rather like that boy. Once he drinks the apprenticeship tea, he’ll be mine. You paying or not?” Zhongli’s face showed a hint of threat.

“Pay, pay, fine, I’ll pay. Unbelievable, already shielding him before he’s even apprenticed.”

Venti rummaged for a long while, finally pulling out a crystalline turquoise stone, glowing with a gentle light.

“This is malachite formed from a thousand years of condensed Anemo in Windrise. It contains a wisp of the element’s origin. I’ve sealed a thread of Anemo divinity inside, and given it my blessing.”

“His grasp of Anemo is pathetic. With this, he’ll be more attuned to the element. If his talent is high enough, he may sense that wisp of origin—and reach higher planes.”

Venti set the stone in Zhongli’s hand. “This is good enough, right?”

Zhongli nodded in satisfaction. “Adequate.”

Handing over the treasure left Venti aching. “Ugh. I came to watch the fun, but instead I’ve paid out a treasure. Feels awful.”

“In Liyue, his drinks are all on you.” Zhongli’s voice was hearty.

In an instant, Venti revived, eyes sparkling. “Really?!”

“Of course.”

…

Jiang Bai had no idea his wallet had once more left his control. Even if he did, he wouldn’t dare protest.

Yawning, he dragged himself out of bed. Turning his head, he saw Bloop once again sitting on his pillow.

“How do you even get in here?”

He picked the slime up, threatening in a stern tone against its innocent blinking.

“If you don’t talk, I’ll seal you in stone tonight!”

Bloop made a pitiful face, waddled to the window, and its round body melted flat into liquid. Slowly it squeezed out through the frame… then oozed back in.

Jiang Bai was stunned.

Did my slime really become refined?

You can do that?

“Amazing, amazing!” Jiang Bai gave a big thumbs up, accepting the fact that his slime had awakened.

“Today’s the day we go find that wild glaze lily you mentioned yesterday, right?” Paimon stretched, yawning as she floated out of the room.

“Yeah. Wash up, then we’ll find Zhongli.”

Zhongli and Venti were still drinking and chatting when the courtyard gate was suddenly knocked upon.

“Mr. Zhongli! Let’s go find the wild glaze lily quick!” Paimon flew straight through the open gate—only to spot Venti in the courtyard at once.

Her eyes went wide in shock. “Tone-deaf Bard?! Why are you here!”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!