Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [281]

“In my day,” Madame Ping adjusted her glasses slightly, “people used to say that glaze lilies could understand human nature. If they heard pleasant sounds—songs, laughter—they would flourish. But if the opposite happened… if they heard too many unpleasant noises, like messy gossip and rumors, they would wither away quickly.”

Hearing this, Jiang Bai immediately crouched down beside a patch of glaze lilies and began singing, while having Bloop on his shoulder water them at the same time.

“A big hilichurl’s sick, two hilichurls come to check—”

The song wasn’t bad, really. But the glaze lily closest to him suddenly shed all its petals in a single shff!

Jiang Bai’s face drained of color. He scrambled backwards several steps in alarm.

“My singing… has it reached the point where even flowers wither when they hear it?” He was crushed.

He swore he thought his singing was decent!
Even the Director had praised him before!

Madame Ping said nothing for a moment. Even for singing, you had to pick the right kind of song.

She shook her head. “The glaze lilies are reacting to the rumors floating around Liyue Harbor. Song alone won’t heal them.”

“Then… once everything’s over, will they bloom again? How long would it take?” Jiang Bai asked nervously.

He had wanted to dig some up from the wild to plant himself, since glaze lilies were valuable. But he couldn’t find a single one outside—only here at Yujing Terrace did they grow.

If these ones didn’t bloom, then the tea for his formal apprenticeship would have to be made with sweet flower nectar instead!

“When hearts are calm again, they’ll bloom naturally.” Madame Ping sighed. “But right now Liyue Harbor is like a powder keg—just a single spark could set it off. Who knows how long before people’s hearts settle again.”

Jiang Bai let out a small breath of relief. As long as they could bloom, that was fine. Once Zhongli took the position, it shouldn’t take long for things to stabilize.

“By the way, Madame Ping, since you’re also an adeptus, do you know why the Archon’s soul returned to the heavens?” Jiang Bai asked.

Madame Ping turned to gaze out over the vast Guyun Stone Forest, her expression complicated.

“Other than time itself… what could possibly fell a god of war?”

“So you also think it was a natural death…” Jiang Bai murmured, thoughtful. So it really wasn’t Zhongli’s doing.

Madame Ping only shook her head, unwilling to give further opinion.

Those who had survived the war-torn era knew full well how powerful the Archon had been. He would not have died without cause; if his life had been nearing its end, he would have told them. For it to happen this way—there had to be purpose behind it.

Best to wait and see what unfolded next.

“Right—Madame Ping, we actually came to borrow something from you.”

“Mhm, mhm, it’s called the Dust-Cleansing Bell!” Paimon piped up.

“Ah, that.” Madame Ping’s eyes lit with understanding, then curved in a small smile.

“I hear Zhongli is the one in charge of the Rite of Parting?”

“That’s right. He said he had his reasons for not coming himself, so he sent us to borrow…” Jiang Bai spread his hands. Things weren’t going quite the way he’d imagined.

Madame Ping and Zhongli didn’t seem to be on bad terms at all.

“It’s in my domain—go fetch it yourselves.”

She lifted the lid of her teapot, and all three of them were drawn inside in an instant.

Not long after, they emerged again, bell in hand.

Seeing that they had it, Madame Ping smiled. “Pass a message to Zhongli for me—tell him, if he has time, he can always come here for tea. I may not have much to my name, but I do have a teapot.”

Jiang Bai joked, “Madame Ping, you’re far too modest. If you have nothing to your name, then our dear guest secretary might as well say he’s dirt-poor.”

An adeptus could never truly be poor—any trinket they took out would be fought over by mortals. It was only a matter of whether they wished to give it.

Madame Ping chuckled and waved them off.

Leaving Yujing Terrace, Paimon sighed in wonder.

“So Madame Ping is an adeptus too? You’d never be able to tell!”

“The greatest hermits hide in the bustling city. I’ve heard there are quite a few adepti living in Liyue Harbor, but she’s the only one I know of.”

“Then why didn’t we just find one in the city back then? Why go all the way into the mountains?”

“No helping it. Even if a city-dwelling adeptus stood right in front of you, you probably wouldn’t recognize them.”

“True enough…”

They made their way to the venue for the Rite of Parting preparations, where Hu Tao and Xiangling were busy.

“Mr. Zhongli, we’ve got it.” Jiang Bai handed the bell to him.

Zhongli’s gaze softened with nostalgia. “Yes… this is indeed the Dust-Cleansing Bell. Well kept, very well kept.”

“That was quick! Good job, good job.” Hu Tao patted Jiang Bai’s shoulder, then peeked curiously at the bell in Zhongli’s hands.

According to ancient texts, this was a music-playing artifact used to accompany every Rite of Parting.

Hearing Zhongli’s tone, Paimon flew a circle around him. “With that way of speaking, don’t tell me you’re an adeptus too?”

“Heh…” Zhongli only smiled, saying nothing.

Seeing him remain silent, Hu Tao’s eyes turned sly. She tiptoed to pat him on the shoulder, deliberately saying,

“Our guest secretary here is just too low-key. Back in the day, he drank with the Archon himself—shared life-and-death bonds! Having him run the Rite of Parting for the Lord of Geo is the most fitting thing possible!”

“Director, you overstate it. I am but an ordinary man named Zhongli—at most, I simply know a little more than most. I’m no adeptus.” Zhongli’s tone was helpless.

Even if she knew he was the Geo Archon himself, this Director’s nature would never change.

“Alright, alright, I know you don’t want your identity exposed.”

Seeing Zhongli deny it, Hu Tao waved a hand and gave a mock-threatening look toward Aether and Paimon. “It’s just us here. We won’t breathe a word.”

Paimon and Aether both nodded hurriedly. They absolutely wouldn’t!

“Oh, right—Madame Ping sent you a message.” Paimon suddenly remembered, then mimicked her voice:

“‘I may not have much to my name, but I do have a teapot.’”

“Haha! That tone doesn’t suit you at all. But yes, her teapot is excellent—perfect for brewing tea. When the time is right, I’ll be sure to bring some good leaves to share.”

Since Hu Tao had already more or less called him out, Zhongli didn’t bother to hide anymore.

“The incense is still being made—it’ll be ready tonight. So, what’s next?”

“Next, we’re buying kites,” Zhongli said.

“Go on, go on. This Director still has a mountain of details to handle.” Hu Tao waved them off, returning to her work.

This Rite of Parting was no ordinary ceremony—the whole of Liyue Harbor would be there to send off the Archon. It had to be the grandest in history.

Buying the kites was simple—they’d already been commissioned. All they had to do was pick them up.

“What’s the meaning behind these kites?” Jiang Bai asked, turning one over in his hands. The patterns were intricate.

Were they going to fly kites at the Rite of Parting?

“Seven kites, for the Seven Archons.”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!