Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [280]

Strange?

Hearing this, Bloop instantly widened its eyes, desperately trying to appear no different from an ordinary slime.

Jiang Bai tilted his head. “What’s strange?”

“Normally, only large Hydro Slimes can blow bubbles. How can your slime blow bubbles while still so small?” Aether asked curiously.

He’d fought plenty of slimes recently, and small slimes typically only knew how to harmlessly bump into things.

Paimon struggled free of Bloop’s bubble, puffing out her cheeks angrily. “That’s right! Small slimes don’t blow bubbles!”

Jiang Bai held Bloop up to eye level, seeing the little slime staring back nervously with an innocent expression. He smiled indulgently.

“What’s wrong with being special? A pet of mine, Jiang Bai, should naturally be unique! Who knows, maybe one day it’ll even fight alongside me!”

Bloop’s eyes sparkled instantly, and it affectionately nuzzled Jiang Bai’s hand.

Aether and Paimon exchanged looks. Finally, Aether shrugged helplessly.

Whatever. It’s just a slime—no matter how unusual, it’s still just a slime.

With an affectionate laugh, Jiang Bai lightly poked Bloop’s squishy face. “Alright, enough. Go rest—my clothes are all wet thanks to you.”

Bloop secretly resolved to control its Hydro element better. If it could avoid soaking things, Jiang Bai might finally take it everywhere. It also decided it had to shrink even smaller, small enough to hide in his clothes or pockets, achieving ultimate freedom!

Unaware of his pet’s ambitious plans, Jiang Bai showed Aether and Paimon to an empty room, handed Aether some blankets, and left them to set up the bed themselves, yawning as he went to wash up.

Unlike Zhongli’s meticulous home, Jiang Bai’s courtyard was simpler. Many rooms were just storage or empty altogether.

Aether and Paimon stared blankly at the empty bed, then reluctantly started making it up themselves.

The room was a bit bare, but at least it was clean—no extra cleaning necessary.

Early the next morning, Jiang Bai woke groggily, feeling as if he was suffocating. He opened his eyes only to find Bloop had somehow climbed onto his face, flattening itself like a slime-shaped facial mask.

Noticing Jiang Bai awake, Bloop happily jumped away.

Rubbing his eyes, Jiang Bai asked suspiciously, “How did you even get in here?”

He was certain he’d left the slime outside in its pool and had closed his windows and doors tightly.

Bloop tilted its head innocently, pretending not to understand, spinning in circles atop the bedside table.

Jiang Bai lifted it onto his shoulder and poked its cheek with mock annoyance. “You’re getting more mischievous every day. Are you secretly cultivating into a spirit? I remember Yaoguang Shoal’s bookstore had some Inazuman novels from before they closed their borders. Something like ‘That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime.’ I’ll buy you a copy sometime.”

Bloop stared blankly, thoroughly confused by Jiang Bai’s words.

Still half-asleep, Aether and Paimon were roused by Jiang Bai, who then brought them to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s cafeteria for a free breakfast.

Paimon rubbed her pleasantly full belly, satisfied. “The funeral parlor’s food is so delicious. I almost don’t want to leave!”

Jiang Bai instantly crossed his arms into a large X. “No way! You’d eat the parlor into bankruptcy!”

Despite Paimon’s small size, her appetite was enormous.

“I was only joking!” Paimon grumbled indignantly, crossing her arms.

“Come on, come on! There’s still plenty of work left before the fragrance balm’s ready!” Jiang Bai ignored her protest and went looking for Zhongli, Bloop stubbornly clinging to his shoulder.

Behind Jiang Bai’s back, Bloop blew a small bubble at Paimon, somehow conveying an unmistakable sense of provocation through its innocent round eyes.

“How dare you! A mere slime, challenging the mighty Paimon?” She rushed forward, fist raised, determined to teach it a lesson.

But before she could touch it, she was swiftly trapped in another bubble.

Aether snickered behind his hand. “Come on, Paimon. Losing to a slime? Really?”

“Not you too!” Paimon sulked after struggling free.

Jiang Bai lightly flicked Bloop’s forehead. “Behave yourself—don’t bully Paimon.”

Bloop’s eyes drooped sadly, sinking down obediently on Jiang Bai’s shoulder.

Touched, Paimon forgave Jiang Bai instantly. “Flyer-boy, at least you’ve got some conscience!”

Chatting and joking along the way, they soon arrived at Zhongli’s courtyard.

Aether asked, “Mr. Zhongli, the fragrance balm is still being made. What’s next?”

“I need you all to borrow the Cleansing Bell.”

“Cleansing Bell?”

“Currently, it’s held by an old friend of mine named Madame Ping. Jiang Bai knows her. Just mention my name, and she’ll lend it to you.”

Jiang Bai glanced strangely at Zhongli.

He knew Madame Ping was an adeptus, and Zhongli openly calling her an old friend confirmed the suspicion that Zhongli was indeed an adeptus himself.

But did Madame Ping know Zhongli had grievances against Rex Lapis?

Zhongli had said he had no interest in becoming the next Geo Archon, but Jiang Bai still doubted that claim.

Someone has to take over, right?

“Aren’t you coming with us?” Paimon asked curiously.

Since Madame Ping was Zhongli’s friend, wouldn’t it be easier if he went personally?

“There are reasons I cannot show myself. I’ll have to trouble you,” Zhongli replied cryptically.

Hearing this, Jiang Bai’s eyes lit up with realization.

Oh… they must’ve had a falling-out! No wonder he’s reluctant to see her.

Seeing Jiang Bai’s exaggerated reaction, Zhongli instantly understood he’d misunderstood yet again. With a slight sigh, Zhongli turned away, silently gesturing for them to hurry along and borrow the Cleansing Bell.

He’d given up correcting Jiang Bai’s bizarre theories. One day, when Jiang Bai learned the truth, all these misunderstandings would clear themselves up naturally.

Jiang Bai led the group once more to Yujing Terrace, where Paimon eagerly glanced around in search of Madame Ping.

As usual, Madame Ping stood tending to her flowers. Around her, the Glaze Lilies were visibly withering, petals falling freely.

Looking at these wilted blossoms, Madame Ping shook her head sadly.

“Life is unpredictable… so unpredictable.”

“Madame Ping!” Jiang Bai called out.

“Oh, it’s you. Have you come to admire the flowers? And who are these two?” Madame Ping asked gently, glancing at Aether and Paimon.

“These are my friends—travelers from afar. This is Aether, and this is Paimon,” Jiang Bai introduced them simply.

“Hello, Madame Ping,” both greeted politely.

“Greetings to you both. Unfortunately, you’ve come at a poor time. These Glaze Lilies have nearly all withered…” Madame Ping said, her voice tinged with melancholy.

“Huh!?” Jiang Bai whipped around, anxiously scanning the dying flowers. If they’re all gone, what about my apprenticeship tea?!

“Why have they all withered? Has the blooming season passed already?” Paimon asked, puzzled.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!