Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [227]

While Jiang Bai was happily drinking and chatting with his friends, Hu Tao wasn’t having nearly as good a time.

She hung upside-down from a pavilion beam in Zhongli’s courtyard, her legs hooked around the wooden support, her long hair nearly dipping into Zhongli’s teacup below.

“Ahhh, I’m so bored!” she whined, swinging lazily, her hair swaying like seaweed beneath her.

Zhongli calmly moved his teapot and cup away to prevent her hair from falling in.

“Jiang Bai still hasn’t returned?”

“Exactly! That guy’s been gone in Mondstadt for a week already. With no one to play with, I’m bored out of my mind…” She sighed dramatically, her arms hanging limply, looking utterly despondent.

“Then, Director, would you like to join me for dinner tonight? A Snezhnayan acquaintance invited me to Liuli Pavilion.”

Hu Tao’s eyes lit up immediately. Finally, something interesting! Her vigor returned instantly, and she flipped effortlessly down from the beam, landing neatly in the seat across from Zhongli.

“A Snezhnayan? A merchant visiting Liyue? Is he interesting? How did you meet him? And why is he treating you to dinner?” Hu Tao fired questions rapidly, one after another.

Zhongli answered unhurriedly, “I met him recently. He approached me first. Indeed, he’s quite intriguing. I think you’d enjoy meeting him.”

“Intriguing, you say?” Hu Tao’s excitement grew further. “Why did he look for you? For antique appraisal? Art appreciation? Or does he need some special services from you?”

“If you’re so curious, Director, you’ll find out when we meet him tonight.”

“You’re being so cryptic, he must be someone special. Now I’m even more curious!”

“Perfect timing. I was planning to bring a gift for this new friend. Perhaps you could advise me on what would be suitable?”

Full of curiosity, Hu Tao followed Zhongli to a shop to purchase a gift. When she saw what was on the shelves, she suddenly felt uneasy.

“Director, do you think these ‘Dragon and Phoenix Carved Chopsticks’ would be suitable, or these ‘Golden Jade Qilin Chopsticks’?”

Hu Tao clutched her chest. One pair was 128,000 Mora, and the other 185,000 Mora—neither were cheap.

“Can’t we choose something besides chopsticks?” Hu Tao’s voice sounded dry and strained.

“If not chopsticks, perhaps a tea set,” Zhongli suggested calmly, turning to another shelf.

Hu Tao glanced at the price tag on the tea set and felt her eyes sting from the string of zeros.

She immediately pulled out her wallet. “Never mind, never mind! Let’s stick with chopsticks! These Dragon and Phoenix Carved Chopsticks are perfect! Shopkeeper, wrap these up for me!”

“Thank you, Director,” Zhongli smiled pleasantly.

Handing over the Mora painfully, Hu Tao shot Zhongli a fierce glare. “Your salary for this month is gone!”

With the expensive chopsticks in hand, Hu Tao trailed Zhongli into Liuli Pavilion.

“This way, Mr. Zhongli,” a waiter greeted, leading them to a private dining room.

Inside sat a young man with sandy brown hair, awkwardly trying to grasp the proper way of holding chopsticks. Seeing Zhongli enter, his face lit up warmly, and he stood to greet them.

“Mr. Zhongli, you’re here! Please, sit down.”

His gaze shifted curiously to Hu Tao. “And this is…?”

“This is the Director of our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Hu Tao,” Zhongli introduced simply.

“Ah, Director Hu! A pleasure! Please, please, take a seat.”

“Come now, Consultant, introduce him to me!” Hu Tao nudged Zhongli eagerly.

“No need for Mr. Zhongli to trouble himself. I’m Tartaglia, Snezhnayan envoy, and Eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers—codename ‘Childe’,” Tartaglia introduced himself with a bright, sunny smile.

He looked open, confident, and easy to get along with.

“Whoa, such an important figure!” Hu Tao feigned exaggerated surprise, enthusiastically shaking his hand.

“Oh, you flatter me! In Liyue, it’s you, Director Hu, who’s truly significant!” Tartaglia swiftly returned the compliment. “Mr. Zhongli frequently speaks highly of you. Meeting you today, you’re just as lovely as he described!”

Listening to Tartaglia’s praise, Hu Tao suddenly thought of Jiang Bai. Compared to Jiang Bai’s elaborate, over-the-top flattery, Tartaglia’s compliments were a bit lacking.

She waved her hand airily. “Oh, you exaggerate. My beauty is the least of my many insignificant virtues.”

“Hahaha, Director Hu, your personality truly stands apart from others!”

After exchanging pleasantries, the atmosphere relaxed.

Even though there were only a few diners, the table was laden with dishes, clearly demonstrating the host’s generosity.

“Not knowing your tastes, Mr. Zhongli, I ordered the restaurant’s specialty dishes,” Tartaglia explained politely.

“Thank you for your hospitality. By the way, how are you progressing with using chopsticks?”

Tartaglia looked slightly sheepish. “Even after staying in Liyue for a while, I’m still having trouble.”

“It’s certainly challenging for those not accustomed to them.” Zhongli handed over the neatly wrapped gift. “Here’s a small gift I picked up on the way. I hope it encourages you to practice and master chopsticks quickly.”

Tartaglia opened the gift and smiled wryly. “Well, now it seems I have no choice but to master them.”

“By the way, how did you two meet?” Hu Tao asked curiously, intrigued by how Zhongli had become acquainted with a Fatui Harbinger.

“I heard Mr. Zhongli was quite knowledgeable and deeply connected in Liyue, so I reached out to him.”

Hu Tao raised an eyebrow sharply. “Our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is a reputable establishment—we don’t engage in anything shady. If you’re looking for someone to help you with questionable deeds, Childe, you’ve come to the wrong place.”

“Not at all!” Childe waved his hands reassuringly. “I simply admire Mr. Zhongli’s vast knowledge and wanted to better understand Liyue. After all, I’ll be here for quite some time, and it wouldn’t do not to understand the place thoroughly.”

“If you want to learn about Liyue, you’ve certainly found the right person. Our Consultant knows the customs of Liyue inside-out—even a simple dish can inspire him to give you a lengthy lecture…”

Zhongli calmly sipped tea, quietly observing Hu Tao and the Snezhnayan envoy chatting animatedly.

Although Zhongli was supposed to be the main guest tonight, with Hu Tao present, he felt more like he was just tagging along.

But Hu Tao’s next words slightly disrupted his calm demeanor.

“You said Zhongli often talks about me, didn’t you? What exactly has he said?”

Tartaglia glanced nervously at Zhongli, whose gaze had subtly sharpened.

“Well, uh…”

He’d merely used “frequently mentioned” as polite small talk; Zhongli had mentioned Hu Tao only once or twice, at most. And each time, Zhongli simply shook his head, sighed, and said nothing more. How was he supposed to answer now?

Sweating slightly under Zhongli’s intense stare, Tartaglia forced a quick recovery. “Mr. Zhongli said you have a uniquely vibrant personality, a sharp mind, and many brilliant, unusual ideas!”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!