Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [171]

“I’m joining too!” Chongyun raised his hand. “I may not know how to write, but I can help with errands and odd jobs.”

Jiang Bai watched helplessly as his role got snatched away by Chongyun.

Still, he didn’t rush to say anything—he was already part of the team from the start.

“With everyone involved, we’re bound to create a story that’ll take off!” he spoke up, formally sealing the deal.

“Alright then. Since the story outline’s already done, let’s talk about what happens after publication—like how we’ll split the profits. Best to set up a contract now, so it doesn’t affect our friendships later.”

Chongyun waved it off. “I don’t want any profits. Just put my name down as a contributor, that’s enough.”

He only wanted to be part of the project—it wasn’t about money. The exorcist families didn’t lack funds anyway.

“I don’t need profits either,” Xingqiu added, casually fanning himself. The air of a young master from a major commerce guild was hard to ignore.

“In that case, all the profits go to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!” Hu Tao declared. “But when it comes to the byline—do you want your real names or pen names?”

Of course, the Director wasn’t about to miss such a golden opportunity to advertise Wangsheng.

After all, the story was based on real events, and she’d already planned to write a segment where, after the princess disappears and the protagonist can’t find her no matter what, Cartis leaves the snowy mountain and returns to Wangsheng to arrange a Falling Leaves Return to Roots service.

Then the parlor learns of his passing, travels to the snowy mountain to find him, and discovers his body and journal. Fulfilling his final wish, they publish the story.

See? Perfectly reasonable, and loaded with authenticity!

With that kind of promotion, how could their service not get noticed?

Fulfilling Cartis’s last wish, earning royalties, and advertising Wangsheng all at once—three birds with one stone!

“I’ll use a pen name,” Xingqiu said. “But I’ll need to come up with a new one. You guys better not go around revealing it!”

Hu Tao turned to Chongyun. “What about you?”

“I’ll use a pen name too… just not sure what to call myself.” Chongyun fell into thought.

Hu Tao had her name ready ages ago. “I’m going to flip my name around—my pen name’ll be Taohu.”

That way, people would instantly know she wrote it!

“I’ll use my real name,” Jiang Bai said with a smile.

This was a golden opportunity to make a name for himself. If Jiang Bai the Spirit Ferryman became well-known, then royalties and bonuses would just come rolling in.

—

While the others were caught up in book talk, Klee was lying on the carpet of the Mondstadt Knights’ confinement room, writing a letter with a pencil.

Although she hadn’t been confined for blowing up the Skyfrost Nail on Dragonspine, she had been caught the past couple days sneakily bombing fish in Cider Lake. As expected, she was promptly tossed into the confinement room.

Klee’s handwriting wasn’t very neat—crooked and uneven. Since she was lying down to write, some strokes were too light, others too heavy, leaving plenty of little holes in the stationery.

But she wrote with great care.

Dear Mommy,
Klee did something big recently! Klee and Big Brother Albedo blew up the giant nail on the snowy mountain, and I made new friends too!
The new friend is from Liyue, a big brother. He cooked for Klee, played in the snow with me, and promised to go fish-bombing together next time. Klee really likes this big brother!
Klee also met a Liyue big sister—she’s a red butterfly!
We blew up the big nail on the snowy mountain together and took photos!
Even though it was super cold, Klee had a lot of fun!
I’m sending the photo with this letter too. Mommy, come back soon and see Klee! I’ll take you to see the blown-up big nail! 💥

When she finished, she carefully tucked the letter into an envelope, remembering to slip in the photo too.

After neatly addressing the envelope, Klee packed it into her bag, ready to send it the moment she was released.

—

In peaceful times, the days passed swiftly.

After spending more than half a month, the group finally finished the final draft of Snowy Tales. Albedo had already mailed in his illustrations. Everything was ready for publication.

Xingqiu had experience with this—he’d published a book before.

About a week later, Hu Tao got her hands on the first edition.

The cover used a photo she had taken of the Skyfrost Nail. Albedo had re-rendered it, removing any clutter and the visible bombs, focusing instead on the towering nail itself.

The cover had a cold blue tone, exuding an icy chill. The bold title characters surrounded the nail, as if the frost from the image might freeze the very letters.

Just below the title was a prominent line:

Based on a true story.

And at the very bottom, the authors:

First listed was Taohu, then Chen Yu, followed by Jiang Bai the Spirit Ferryman, and finally Tianheng Fangshi.

Xingqiu couldn’t stop teasing Chongyun for his pen name.

It wasn’t mysterious, nor did it carry anyone’s actual name. When people heard “Tianheng Fangshi,” they’d just think of the exorcists from Mt. Tianheng—not some pen name.

Chongyun only scratched his head at the teasing.

He honestly couldn’t think of a good name. After hearing Jiang Bai explain the purpose behind using his title, it struck him as reasonable—so he went with Tianheng Fangshi.

He didn’t need fame for himself, but he could promote the exorcists as a whole.

Besides, he hadn’t done much—just ran errands and helped brainstorm. Having his name in the credits already felt like plenty.

The cover was relatively simple. The real treat was the ad Hu Tao printed on the very last page.

Since the story had mentioned Wangsheng’s new services, she didn’t get too detailed in the body of the story—for the sake of flow and immersion. Just enough to hint at the business.

At the end of the story, when it’s revealed the protagonist has died, the person who brings the story back even uses Jiang Bai’s real name.

Only when truth and fiction blur together can it feel real—not just made up, Hu Tao reasoned.

On the blank final page, she included not just the Falling Leaves Return to Roots service, but also a missing persons service. Customers who used this book to book a service could even get a discount.

No marketing opportunity left untapped.

“First, give a copy to Xiangling, Yun Jin, and the others. Then mail one each to Albedo and Bennett. Have the guest cultivator bring copies to each storyteller in Liyue. Once we get the buzz going, Xingqiu can have Feiyun Commerce start selling it like mad!”

Liyue’s storytellers were a major hub of legends—most people heard tales from them.

Their usual stories had been told to death. New tales brought fresh interest and doubled as organic marketing for the book—a win-win.

Hu Tao’s marketing schemes were clicking into place one after another.

This book wasn’t just going to sell in Liyue—it was going to Mondstadt, Sumeru, even Snezhnaya!

The success of their Falling Leaves Return to Roots campaign all hinged on this first strike!

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!