Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [149]

Jiang Bai’s soup hadn’t even finished boiling when a group of weapon-wielding hilichurls emerged from the shadows, surrounding them in a pincer attack at the mouth of the canyon.

“Director, look what you’ve done—singing a hilichurl song and luring them all over here…”

“Oh please! It’s your awful singing that brought them out!” Hu Tao shot him a glare as the two began tossing blame back and forth.

Their eyes locked—crackling with silent thunder.

An arrow came flying from the hilichurl ranks, shattering the tension like glass.

Hu Tao flicked her Staff of Homa, deflecting it with a snap.

“Alright then—let’s see who can clear their side faster!”

“Bring it on!” Jiang Bai whipped out Snow-Tombed Starsilver, itching for action.

Sure, he usually tried not to fight hilichurls unless necessary—but they were the ones who attacked first. Not his fault.

Besides, he hadn’t had a proper chance to test this new weapon yet. Now was the perfect opportunity.

“Director! You take one side, I’ll take the other!”

The hilichurls had cut off both ends of the canyon, trapping them in the middle. Jiang Bai didn’t bother counting, but judging by the sound and movement, the numbers on both sides seemed about equal.

“Deal!”

As soon as the word left her mouth, Hu Tao charged into the fray.

Her flaming polearm carved a glowing S-shape through the air, followed by a chorus of hilichurl screams.

Some were knocked out cold; others were flung clear off their feet. Her speed and power were downright brutal.

Jiang Bai, not to be outdone, dove into the other half of the hilichurl mob, greatsword in hand.

Despite Snow-Tombed Starsilver being a two-handed weapon, he swung it like it was a one-hander—slashing wildly in every direction with zero form or finesse.

But messy or not, it was effective.

Any hilichurl that got within a meter of him was either knocked out or left unmoving on the ground.

Only a few carrying thick stone shields managed to hold their ground under the assault.

Some shields looked hastily cobbled together—chunks of rock slapped together or even pieces of Geo Slimes pulled from the ground and hardened into barriers.

Still, they held up surprisingly well—some taking two or three solid hits before finally breaking apart.

In no time at all, the canyon fell silent.

Not a single hilichurl remained standing.

Hu Tao stood triumphantly with her hands on her hips, wearing a smug grin.

“I win!”

Jiang Bai scowled, offering a weak excuse. “I’m still getting used to my new weapon… if I were used to it, no way I’d lose.”

Maybe it was the influence of that peaceful hilichurl tribe from Dragonspine—he had subconsciously been holding back. If he’d gone all out, even those with shields wouldn’t have lasted long.

Hu Tao gave him a knowing look. “Oh, sure. I totally understand.”

“Now that the pre-dinner workout’s done, let’s clean up this mess and eat!”

The dead hilichurls were cremated on-site. As for the ones who’d only been knocked out, they were tossed further down the canyon—just in case they woke up and came back for revenge.

By the time they finished, Jiang Bai felt even more exhausted than from the fight itself.

If he hadn’t had the foresight to use Geo energy to fashion a makeshift wheelbarrow, hauling all those bodies would’ve taken forever.

Dinner was finally served. Afterward, Hu Tao let out a huge yawn, poking at the fire with a stick.

“You sleep first. I’ll take the first watch. With so many hilichurls showing up just now, there’s probably a big tribe nearby. Not exactly the safest place.”

“Alright,” Jiang Bai agreed without hesitation.

He hadn’t slept a wink the night before, and now he was completely beat.

Climbing into the coffin-shaped construct he used as a bed, he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Hu Tao sat by the fire, yawning as boredom crept in. After a while, she pulled out pen and paper and started writing Tales of the Snow-Covered Kingdom at the table.

Her very first book! Just thinking about it made her excited.

Now, what should the first line be…

Got it!

“Based on a true story…”

That line would add a touch of authenticity and make the audience more inclined to believe it.

Hu Tao beamed. Genius.

Thoughts flowed like a river. Before she knew it, she’d filled seven or eight pages. By the time she looked up again, the moon had risen high above.

Yawning, she gathered up the manuscript, then made her way to wake Jiang Bai for his turn.

Lifting the lid of his “coffin,” she found him sleeping soundly inside.

Seeing how deeply he slept, Hu Tao couldn’t help but click her tongue.

“Sleeping like the dead, even out here in the wild. I can’t tell if you’re just carefree… or if having me here gives you too much of a sense of security…”

Her lips curled into a mischievous grin, eyes glinting with mischief.

A little ghost floated up from behind her—arms dangling, giggling silently.

One look exchanged, and the two understood each other without a word.

Hu Tao let her hair down, pulled out a glowing stone and held it under her chin, casting eerie shadows over her face. Then she stuck out her tongue and twisted her expression into something truly monstrous.

With everything ready, she bent over the coffin, her long hair spilling down and even brushing inside.

Anyone waking to this would absolutely think they were seeing a ghost girl straight out of a horror story.

“Owooooo~” the ghost howled like a high-pitched wolf.

Hu Tao pressed her cold fingertips to Jiang Bai’s cheek, murmuring in a low, ghostly voice:

“Your soul… give me your sooooooul…”

Jiang Bai jolted awake. The moment he opened his eyes and saw a terrifying face hovering over him, he instinctively recoiled in shock.

Before his brain could process, his fists were already flying—lashing out at the figure looming above him.

Hu Tao had, of course, anticipated this reaction.

She blocked the punch with her elbow, grabbed both his wrists, and used the momentum to vault herself backward—putting some distance between them.

By now, Jiang Bai had caught up with reality.

He sat up in his coffin-bed, trying to calm his racing heart as he looked at Hu Tao with teary, betrayed eyes.

Hu Tao flipped her hair back and grinned in triumph. “Hahahaha! I totally scared you!”

Jiang Bai stared at her, eyes full of injustice. “Director… I was having such a nice dream…”

Hu Tao’s smile faltered, gaze suddenly shifting.

“Well… I was trying to wake you up for your shift. I figured you might sleep through it, so I thought I’d, you know, give you a little ‘jolt.’ See? You’re wide awake now!”

What could Jiang Bai say to that?

The world is big, but the Director’s word is law.

And truth be told, her scare had worked. Whatever sleepiness he’d had was long gone.

He glanced up at the moon, gauging the time.

“Director, go ahead and rest. It’s late already. If you don’t sleep now, you’ll be wiped out tomorrow.”

Seeing him so calm—not yelling, not throwing a fit—Hu Tao suddenly felt… a tiny flicker of guilt.

“You’re not… mad at me, are you?”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!