Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [132]

“Uuugh… Klee gets it…”

Klee pouted miserably, lips quivering, as she glumly resumed her battle with the food in her bowl.

Jiang Bai chuckled softly.

So the only one who can really keep Klee in check… must be this Jean person.

“But honestly,” he added, “we’re not even sure the bombs will work. We’ll just have to bring as many as we can, in case the firepower’s not enough.”

“I’ve never seen the thing you’re talking about, so I can’t offer much advice,” Kaeya said with a shrug. “But I am looking forward to seeing that ‘giant spike’ for myself.”

Dinner dragged on for nearly an hour. Most of that time was spent chatting; the actual eating took far less.

Kaeya was very curious about the situation on Dragonspine and asked a lot of questions. Jiang Bai, for his part, asked plenty about the Knights of Favonius. Klee, meanwhile, focused intently on her food.

“Hic—Klee’s full!”

She rubbed her round, full belly and let out a tiny burp.

“If you’re full, then stop eating. Too much food isn’t good for digestion.”

Jiang Bai gathered the dishes, stifling a yawn.

I really just want to sleep… not wash dishes…

Right on cue, Kaeya offered, “Jiang Bai-bro, let me handle the cleanup. You’ve been traveling all day, you must be exhausted. Get some rest. We’ll head out after picking up the explosives tomorrow.”

“Then I’ll leave it to you.”

Jiang Bai didn’t stand on ceremony and immediately handed off all the dishwashing and wiping duties to him.

Klee tugged on Jiang Bai’s sleeve and puffed up like a little host. “Klee will take Big Brother Jiang Bai to the guest room!”

“Thanks, Klee.”

That night, after a quick wash, Jiang Bai collapsed into bed and slept like the dead until sunrise.

Meanwhile, Klee, too excited about blowing up the giant spike, barely slept at all. As soon as it was light out, she sprang from her bed, already preparing everything she’d need for Dragonspine.

“Dragonspine’s really cold, so Klee has to bring lots of warm clothes!”

She unzipped her backpack, pushed the bombs aside, and began stuffing it with clothing, one piece at a time.

“Klee’s gotta bring her fuzzy scarf, her fluffy boots, the big hat that covers her ears, and thick gloves too…”

She murmured to herself as she packed, methodical and independent. Despite her age, she was perfectly capable of handling herself—even without Albedo around.

“If Big Brother Albedo is cold too, Klee will bring him a big scarf!”

She packed her bag to the brim. When she finally slung it over her back, the weight nearly knocked her over onto her butt.

Though her backpack was a small spatial tool, Alice had deliberately enchanted it to retain physical weight, so Klee could get proper strength training. The more she packed, the heavier it got—a kind of portable resistance training.

Of course, Alice had calculated it precisely so that Klee could just manage it.

“So heavy… did I pack too many bombs?”

After a bit of adjusting, Klee got used to the weight.

In no time, she was bouncing toward the door, backpack snug on her back.

“Time to blast the spike! Klee’s got her bombs! La la la~!”

Kaeya was already up and had brought breakfast for everyone.

With a slice of toast in her mouth, Klee ran to knock on Jiang Bai’s door, unable to contain her excitement.

“Big Brother Jiang Bai, wake up!”

“I’m up!”

After a solid night’s sleep, Jiang Bai felt fully recharged.

Comfort-wise, it didn’t compare to his coffin, but there was no need to expend energy building a new one just for sleep.

Once breakfast was done, Klee led them down the dim spiral staircase to the basement to retrieve the explosives.

And that was when Jiang Bai finally saw what Albedo meant by “a lot” of bombs.

The entire basement beneath the villa was filled with stockpiles of bomb-making materials—piled high like little mountains.

Jiang Bai was speechless.

If a single spark landed in here, the entire city of Mondstadt might be blown sky-high…

Even Kaeya, who seemed unshakable, was visibly stunned.

He silently re-evaluated the lethality potential of the entire Alice-Klee-Albedo household.

Do not provoke. Seriously, do not provoke.

“These were all prepared for Klee by her mommy!” Klee stood proudly, hands on hips. “She said they’d last until Klee grows up!”

Her mommy was the best mommy in the whole wide world!

“Isn’t it dangerous to keep all this here?” Jiang Bai wiped his brow nervously, suddenly very aware of how close he was standing to a potential apocalypse.

Even if he stacked ten layers of shields on himself, he doubted he’d survive if this place blew.

“Nope! Big Brother Albedo set up precautions! As long as Klee doesn’t throw a bomb in here on purpose, nothing will go boom!”

Kaeya gave her a long look and said seriously, “Klee, please don’t ever try to do bomb research down here. Otherwise, Mondstadt might not be a city anymore—it’ll be a crater.”

After all, Lady Alice had once turned the Stormterror’s Lair into the Stormterror Ruins.

And Klee showed every sign of surpassing her.

“Hmph! Klee’s a very responsible good girl!” she pouted, arms akimbo. “Klee only comes here to gather materials—she always does her research in the workshop! Big Brother Kaeya’s underestimating Klee!”

“You’re right, you’re right. Klee’s the most responsible.” Kaeya quickly produced an apple to placate her—and succeeded.

Jiang Bai had originally thought Hu Tao’s storage ring would be more than enough, but looking at this stockpile, it was definitely not enough.

As the saying goes, all fear comes from lack of firepower. With enough explosives to level Mondstadt, there was no way they wouldn’t blow that spike to pieces.

Still, they’d need to control the blast. Wouldn’t want to take the whole mountain down with it.

Jiang Bai packed two massive bundles of explosives—filling Hu Tao’s ring to capacity.

That alone cleared about a fifth of the stockpile.

He wasn’t worried about running out, though. He’d already unlocked a teleport waypoint in Mondstadt. If he needed more, he’d just warp back and get it.

The beauty of teleportation: total freedom.

“Let’s move out!”

Klee bounced outside, backpack swaying cheerfully with every step.

The weight no longer seemed to faze her—she ran and skipped without a care.

“Slow down! Don’t trip!”

At the villa’s entrance, two horses were already waiting—brought over that morning by Kaeya.

Their saddles bore the crest of the Knights of Favonius. It was clear they belonged to the order.

Both horses were in excellent condition—sleek, muscular, with glossy coats and bright eyes.

As the group stepped outside, the reddish-brown horse whinnied and reared up excitedly.

Kaeya approached and gently stroked its mane. The horse nuzzled his head affectionately.

Clearly, this one was Kaeya’s personal mount.

“Dragonspine’s a long way off,” he said, smiling. “Let’s ride.”

—

T/N: THERES FUCKING HORSES??????? WHAT THE CAVaLRY CAPTAIN ACTUALLY HAS HORSES??

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!