“What does Big Brother Albedo need you to get?”
“Bombs. Do you know where they are?”
Klee turned around with an excited bounce and patted her backpack. “Klee knows where the bombs are! They’re right in here!”
“Whoa—slow down, slow down!”
Jiang Bai flinched, alarmed. What if her backpack was packed too tight and one of them exploded?
At the same time, an intense question gnawed at him:
Why does this child have a whole bag full of bombs?!
But Klee, carrying a bag of explosives, didn’t look worried at all. She hopped up onto the sofa and began pulling out bomb after bomb.
“What kind of bomb does Big Brother want? Klee’s got bouncy bombs, boom-booms, kabooms, crackles, pops—and even a new one Klee made just for fish-blasting!”
The adorable, round bombs painted with cute little designs were not as harmless as they looked.
As the pile grew and nearly formed a miniature mountain, sweat beaded on Jiang Bai’s forehead.
How does this backpack even hold all that? Was it some sort of spatial equipment too?
And these names… are they based on the sound of the explosions?
“I need something with a lot of power—like, enough to blow up an entire mountain.”
He spread his arms wide, trying to convey the scale.
At the words “blow up a mountain”, Klee’s eyes sparkled.
“Klee blew up a mountain once too! But then Acting Grand Master Jean put Klee in time-out for sooo long… Big brother, are you going to blow up a mountain? Klee wants to go too!”
Looking at her enthusiasm, Jiang Bai immediately panicked.
He scrambled to explain, trying to talk her out of it.
“No no, we’re not really blowing up a mountain—that was just a way to describe it. We’re doing an important experiment, so we need a lot of bombs, that’s all.”
Klee tilted her head and stared at him. Before Jiang Bai could figure out what she was thinking, she grinned mischievously like a little devil sprouting horns, and said something that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
“Klee can show big brother where the bombs are—but only if you take Klee with you!”
“Ah—well…” Jiang Bai started sweating.
He realized he’d been completely wrong. Terribly wrong.
He wasn’t good with kids at all!
“This experiment is really important… it wouldn’t be appropriate to bring you along.”
“Klee won’t get in the way! Klee will just stand quietly and watch! Please? Pleeease?”
She clasped her little hands in front of her and looked up at him with those big, round eyes full of pleading.
It was almost impossible to say no to a face like that.
But there was no way around it—he was teleporting straight to Dragonspine. He really couldn’t bring her.
When Jiang Bai still didn’t respond, Klee drooped and hopped down from the couch, her head lowered.
“Mmph… Klee hasn’t seen Big Brother Albedo in forever…”
The gentle, pitiful tone in her voice made Jiang Bai’s scalp tingle.
In a fluster, he reached into his coat and pulled out the letter Albedo had given him.
“Albedo wrote you a letter! Look! He said he’ll come play with you soon after he finishes his experiments!”
As soon as she heard that Albedo had sent a letter, Klee visibly perked up.
She tore the envelope open and began reading carefully.
To my dear Klee,
Klee, are you missing your Big Brother Albedo? Do you remember the promise we made? You’re a good girl who keeps her promises, aren’t you?
Right now, Big Brother is working on a very important experiment, so I won’t be able to come home for a while. I’m sorry I can’t be with you right now. But you still have Dodoco, and everyone at the Knights of Favonius, don’t you? If you get bored, you can as Big Brother Kaeya to take you out to play!
The person delivering this letter is Big Brother Jiang Bai, a friend of mine. Can you help him find the things I need? I know you’ll be super helpful—because that’s just who you are.
When I get back, I’ll take you to fish-blast at Starfell Lake, collect seashells at the beach, and pick apples from the big tree at Windrise. But if you don’t wait for me… then all I’ll bring back are big, hard-to-peel crabs~
When she finished reading, Klee puffed up her cheeks in a huff.
“Hmph! Big Brother Albedo is mean! Klee doesn’t want to be a good girl who keeps promises anymore!”
Jiang Bai hadn’t read the letter in full—he’d only skimmed it when she opened it—but hearing her say that, he could only laugh awkwardly.
If he were dealing with a mischievous kid, he could probably bluff or scold a little—but this sweet, well-behaved girl in front of him? He had no idea what to do.
What do I do now…?
Jiang Bai’s brain spun at full speed, practically overheating, but came up with nothing.
He really wasn’t cut out for this.
Just then, Klee’s stomach let out a loud grumble.
She rubbed her belly, lips puckering into a little wave, and looked up at him.
“Klee’s hungry…”
Jiang Bai immediately jumped up. After traveling all day, he was starving too.
“Do you have any food at home? I’ll cook something for you.”
“Yay!”
Klee’s mood flipped in an instant. She hopped off the couch and tugged at his sleeve, leading him to the kitchen.
The kitchen was surprisingly spacious, stocked with all the pots, pans, and ingredients one could need.
There was even a piece of toast on the counter, halfway covered in salad dressing.
Jiang Bai frowned slightly as he picked it up. Don’t tell me this is what she eats when she’s home alone? That’s not nutritious at all.
But then again, Albedo was always meticulous—he probably wouldn’t overlook something like this.
He glanced at Klee, who had already climbed up onto a stool and opened the fridge Albedo had made, pulling out fresh ingredients.
“Klee wants Sweet Madame!”
“Okay, okay.”
Jiang Bai took the ingredients with a sigh—only to realize a new problem.
…How do you even make Sweet Madame?
“Um… Klee? Do you have a recipe book at home?”
“Yep! I’ll go get it!”
She dashed out like a whirlwind, and returned just as quickly with the cookbook.
With the recipe in hand, cooking was much easier. Jiang Bai worked at the stove while chatting with Klee.
“So, Klee, when you’re home alone, where do you usually go to eat?”
“I eat at the Knights of Favonius!”
“Big Sister Lisa always has yummy snacks! Big Brother Kaeya takes me to Good Hunter! Big Sister Amber makes delicious chicken-mushroom skewers!”
Klee spoke excitedly about her “food tours” around Mondstadt, not forgetting to show off a little at the end.
“Klee is the Knights of Favonius’ Spark Knight, you know!”
Hearing that she was well-fed and cared for, Jiang Bai finally relaxed.
I knew it—Albedo wouldn’t forget something that important.
“Really? Klee’s already a knight? That’s amazing!”
“Klee’s super amazing! Klee helped Big Brother Albedo gather ingredients, helped the Knights blast bad guys, and even scared off hilichurls! And Klee’s making all sorts of new and super powerful bombs!”
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This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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