Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [119]

“Let’s find a place to rest for the night. I still need to reach the summit.”

By Jiang Bai’s count, he’d already been on Dragonspine for three days. If he hadn’t run into Albedo, he might still be wandering the mountain, completely lost.

After circling aimlessly for days without finding a clear path up, he had long given up on climbing the peak on his own. Now, all his hopes were pinned on Albedo leading the way.

“There’s a cave over this way. Follow me.”

Albedo led Jiang Bai to the left of the ruins, toward a cave of uncertain depth and direction.

They found a sheltered corner from the wind. Albedo built a fire.

“Let’s rest here tonight. Once we’re recharged, we’ll start climbing first thing in the morning.”

“There’s a way up through here?” Jiang Bai peered into the dark, yawning tunnel.

“From the surrounding terrain and the location of this ruin, this cave should lead to the summit. The deeper in you go, the more unstable the ley lines become—and the colder it gets.

“I’ve explored it before. It ends in a dead end. Most likely the original path was blocked off by falling rocks or accumulated snow…”

Jiang Bai nodded. A blocked path was fine—what mattered was that there had been a path.

The fire crackled in the quiet of the cave, its light casting a golden glow on the stone floor.

Jiang Bai ate two Mora Meats, took off his boots, and set them by the fire to dry.

The snow on Dragonspine was thick, and some had slipped into his boots through the tops while walking. His feet had been sweating from all the movement too, and now his socks were damp.

Thankfully, they didn’t reek—otherwise, Albedo might have considered pitching camp elsewhere.

Jiang Bai slipped into his coffin and had a dreamless, peaceful night’s sleep.

Albedo, on the other hand, stayed up beside the fire, scribbling in his notebook. He didn’t crawl into his tent until the latter half of the night.

…

By morning, Jiang Bai—ever the diligent working man—sat up from his coffin, unintentionally waking Albedo beside him.

“Good morning,” Albedo greeted as he stepped out of his tent.

His hair was a bit tousled, clearly not yet washed or brushed.

“Morning. Want something to eat?”

They’d gnawed on meat pies together the night before. Jiang Bai knew that, even if Albedo was a little… special, he still needed food to replenish energy.

“I’ve got a bunch of pastries that work as breakfast.” He pulled out some Lotus Crisps, peach cakes, and other sweet biscuits.

All of it was stuffed into his bag by Uncle Ge before he left—worried he’d starve while traveling.

He even had milk.

Jiang Bai handed Albedo a bottle he’d warmed up over the fire.

Getting a warm cup of milk on Dragonspine? That was no easy feat. Liquids were hard to carry in the cold, and most would freeze solid before long.

He could only manage it thanks to the bottomless coffers of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Food flowed freely there. If his Sanqing Bell could’ve held more, Uncle Ge would’ve packed even more supplies.

“Thank you.”

Albedo accepted the offer without pretense.

As they ate and chatted, Albedo finally asked what had been on his mind.

“Which adventurer’s remains are you retrieving?”

“Cartis. Do you know him?”

“I do.” A flicker of recognition crossed Albedo’s face.

Cartis was a resolute-looking man who often ventured into Dragonspine alone, seeking to uncover its secrets.

His workshop had been on the mountain too, and over time, they’d crossed paths more than once. Cartis had even consulted Albedo on various topics—among them, how to reach the summit. Albedo had shown him this exact route once. But what happened after that… he had no idea.

Hearing now, so suddenly, that the man had died—it left him feeling a bit dazed.

“He’s really gone?”

“Yeah.” Jiang Bai pulled out the Compass. The needle pointed nearly straight up—an 80-degree tilt—indicating that Cartis’s body was indeed above them.

“A few days ago, I noticed his name on the artifact had turned gray. That’s when I left Liyue Harbor. This should be the fourth day since I set out.”

He then pulled out a flyer and handed it to Albedo—time to showcase one of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s traditional skills.

“So? Wanna take a look at our Falling Leaves Return to Roots package? Guarantee a dignified send-off!”

Albedo, caught off guard: “?”

“In this unpredictable life, accidents happen. My job is to ensure that those who’ve subscribed to our services receive peace of mind! No matter where you die, we will retrieve your remains and lay you to rest in the place of your choosing!”

Jiang Bai was just testing the waters. He didn’t seriously expect Albedo to buy the pitch.

After all, the man had a Vision—it wasn’t that easy for someone like him to die. Plus, he was still young. Clearly not the target demographic.

What he didn’t expect was that Albedo, after reading the flyer, would actually give it serious consideration.

“Your Wangsheng Funeral Parlor specializes in handling end-of-life matters?”

Seeing Albedo take interest, Jiang Bai doubled down and launched into his sales spiel with renewed passion.

“That’s right! Our core service is funerals, but we also deal in funerary goods. Our newest feature, Falling Leaves Return to Roots, is booming!

“And we’re running a promotion—buy one, get one free! Second tombstone half-off! If you’re interested, drop my name at the parlor and I’ll get you a ten percent discount!”

Albedo: “……”

Something about this business model doesn’t feel quite right…

You’re a funeral parlor… why are you doing “buy one, get one free”? What, does the package come with a bonus corpse?

“If I ever need it, I’ll consider it,” Albedo said, tucking the flyer away and wisely dropping the topic.

He had the feeling that if he kept asking, Jiang Bai would start rattling off even more promotional lines.

“Let’s go. Time to move.”

After packing up, Jiang Bai grabbed a torch, and the two headed deeper into the cave.

The further they went, the colder it got. Jiang Bai’s breath grew thick and visible—even Albedo’s exhalations now formed light clouds.

Jiang Bai cast a Geo shield around himself, hoping to block the chill, but it was no use.

The cold was like piercing damage—it cut straight through any armor, no matter how thick. His torch-bearing hand had already gone stiff, and the fingers exposed to the air were completely numb.

He quickly took a few gulps of strong liquor, then shoved his frozen hand down the collar of his shirt, trying to warm it as fast as possible.

“Hss—” The icy touch made him flinch, sucking in a sharp breath.

But it worked. In less than thirty seconds, he could feel his fingers again.

The burning alcohol in his belly drove away some of the internal chill too, keeping him from trembling in place.

“This is the end of the path.”

Albedo came to a halt. They’d reached the terminus of the tunnel. No more road ahead.

Jiang Bai raised his torch and scanned the surroundings, using its light to get a better view of their situation.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!