Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [81]

Hu Tao and Jiang Bai returned to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, heading straight for the baths.

That said, they didn’t share one.

As the director, Hu Tao of course had her own private bath, while Jiang Bai had to use the public one.

They’d been away for eight days in total, and during that time had only soaked in water briefly. Both being people who valued cleanliness, the first thing they did upon returning was a thorough wash.

Hu Tao soaked in a large wooden tub, steam curling around her like a veil.

“La la la~ Washy washy bath time~”

She hummed some strange little tune, her whole body submerged in the water with only her head poking out.

A neatly folded towel rested on top of her head, her loose hair floating on the surface, obscuring what lay beneath.

She stretched her fair little hands out of the water and rested them on the rim of the tub, leaning back lazily with a long, contented sigh.

“So comfy~”

A little ghost drifted out from her body, mimicking her posture with its stubby white hands gripping the edge of the tub. Its eyes curled into crescent moons of joy, a pair of cute little fangs peeking from its open mouth as its tadpole-like tail gently bobbed on the water’s surface.

Hu Tao grabbed its tail, gave it a tug—and let go.

Pop! The little ghost flew backward like a balloon losing air.

She dipped her head underwater to blow bubbles, then popped up again, playing to her heart’s content.

After about half an hour, freshly bathed and changed, she strutted into Zhongli’s courtyard like a breeze in motion.

“Old man, it’s been so long—did you miss me~?”

“Mm.”

Zhongli, who’d been feeding the birds, glanced at her and paused in thought. In the end, he opted for honesty.

“No.”

Hu Tao’s expression immediately deflated. Her arms drooped, and she slumped in defeat.

“I missed you so much, and you didn’t miss me at all… that’s so heartbreaking.”

Zhongli offered a small smile, placing the bird on his finger back into its cage. Then he sat down at the stone table in the courtyard and spoke in his usual unhurried tone:

“Was the trip a success?”

Hearing him ask about it instantly perked Hu Tao up. She plopped down on a stone stool, swinging her legs and patting her chest with pride.

“Of course! With your very own Director personally handling things, there’s no task that can’t be completed!”

Having grown up without a father, she couldn’t help but project some of that longing onto Zhongli, who had served as a consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor for as long as she could remember.

Zhongli knew everything—things no one else did. Unlike her grandfather, he wasn’t old. He was young, like a father.

When she was little, Hu Tao often wondered: If my dad were still around, would he be like Zhongli—so wise, so calm, so steady?

Though Zhongli’s background remained a mystery, and he hadn’t aged a day, almost like an adeptus…

As long as he was there, it felt like there was a solid wall behind her. With him around, there was nothing to fear.

So whenever she achieved something she was proud of, she couldn’t help but want to show off to him.

Even if he didn’t praise her—just having him listen made her happy.

Hu Tao began laying out the items she had brought back on the stone table, introducing them one by one.

“This Kongtong Spirit Jade—we got it thanks to Qiqi. And this True Soul of the Four Directions—that came from completing a task for Lord Mountain Carver.”

“Qiqi? The child you often try to catch?” Zhongli raised a brow in mild surprise.

Under normal circumstances, if Hu Tao encountered that child, she’d surely try to send her off to the afterlife. Something must have changed.

Hu Tao propped her chin in her hand, sighing as she spoke of Qiqi.

“Yeah, but I’ve decided not to go after her anymore. She’s trying so hard to live—how can I justify forcing her to cross over just because of my own convictions? Let’s just say… she’s an exception to the rules of this world.”

Zhongli poured her a cup of tea. “Everything that exists does so for a reason. The balance of yin and yang isn’t so easily disrupted.”

“Hehe, hearing you say that puts my mind at ease!” Hu Tao kicked her legs in the air, the heavy stone in her heart finally settling down.

“I was really worried I might be messing with the order of life and death… disturbing the balance…”

“But that child’s story is truly tragic. I heard all about it from Lord Mountain Carver,” she began recounting Qiqi’s past to Zhongli in a steady stream of chatter.

Zhongli was an excellent listener. He stayed quiet, occasionally asking a question or two.

After hearing Hu Tao explain how Qiqi became a zombie, he gently blew on his tea and murmured,

“So that’s how it was…”

He’d always known Liyue had such a zombie, but hadn’t looked deeply into the matter.

After all, there were so many people and stories in Liyue—if he concerned himself with every one of them, he’d never be done.

“Now that we’ve got all the materials, tomorrow I’ll head to Granny Ping to have the artifact made. Then we can officially start promoting it!”

Hu Tao’s eyes gleamed as she rubbed her hands together, her future looking bright.

“I think we should first promote it at the Adventurers’ Guild—do a couple trial cases to get the word out, build up some buzz! Once we’ve built a reputation, even without advertising, the clients will come flooding in. What do you think?”

She eagerly laid out her business strategy.

“I’ll leave it to your judgment, Director.”

Zhongli had no objections. As long as she was happy, that was enough.

As they chatted, Hu Tao suddenly remembered something.

“Oh right, I picked up a greatsword at Guyun Stone Forest last time—it looked like good quality, so I sent it to the blacksmith to have it reforged and de-rusted. It should be ready by now…”

With that, she bolted off like a gust of wind, heading to retrieve her sword.

Though the sky was darkening, it wasn’t night just yet.

From the forge came constant clangs of hammer on metal, black smoke drifting upward from the chimney.

Outside, a variety of standard weapons were on display—blades, spears, greatswords, bows, and catalysts, all neatly arranged.

Hu Tao bypassed them and walked straight into the forge, where a wave of heat hit her in the face.

She glanced around and cupped her hands around her mouth to call out, “Old Zhang! Is my sword ready?”

The blacksmith, Old Zhang, paused his work and came out of the back room, wiping sweat from his brow with a towel.

“Ah, Hu Tao! Your sword’s been done for a while now.”

He grabbed the greatsword from a nearby rack and handed it over.

The blade, once weathered and rusted by the elements, had been fully restored—its sharp tip now gleamed with a cold light.

As Hu Tao gripped the hilt, the same sensation she’d felt when first picking up the sword surged through her again.

Now that the blade had been reforged, the feeling was even stronger.

She ran her hand along the smooth surface—stripped of rust, it now looked stunning.

The blade was a deep blue, with darker patterns etched along its length.

It was also massive—wider than a typical greatsword by at least the width of a fist.

“No matter the material or the craftsmanship, this sword is exceptional. A rare find!” Old Zhang praised it highly.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!