Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [70]

Hu Tao had just woken up, unwashed, hair messy, her hat nowhere in sight. Sweat had made strands stick to her face, making her look like a ghostly apparition.

Seeing that Hu Tao had finally stopped chasing her, Qiqi halted as well, her expression still filled with lingering fear.

This person… was too terrifying…

“Director Hu, what were you two even doing?” Jiang Bai asked, a towel draped over his shoulder. He had already washed his face—and even his hair while he was at it.

“Nothing! I’m just in a good mood!”

Jiang Bai tilted his head.

…So your idea of having fun is chasing Qiqi around?

“Hmph~ Hmph~ Hmph~” Hu Tao hummed, tossing her hair back. “We found what we needed! I’m in a great mood! Let’s rest this morning, have lunch, then head to Qingce Village.”

With that, she strode into the lake, still humming.

Just as she was about to wade deeper, she suddenly turned back and narrowed her eyes at Jiang Bai.

“I’m taking a bath. You better not peek!”

Jiang Bai tilted his head again.

…Who the hell wants to look at you?

Besides, now that he thought about it, he should probably bathe, too. Any longer and he’d start smelling like a Hilichurl.

Cupping his hands around his mouth, he called out to the half-submerged Hu Tao, who was now just a floating head in the water.

“Director Hu! Toss me a change of clothes!”

Without even lifting her head, Hu Tao casually flung a set of clothes his way.

Jiang Bai jumped up and caught them mid-air with precision.

Then, glancing over at Qiqi—who was peeking out from behind a tree—he said, “Take a break, Qiqi. Once you’re rested, we’ll head for Qingce Village.”

After that, he picked a deeper spot in the lake, stripped down to just his underwear, and jumped in.

The morning lake water was icy cold, but for Vision holders, it wasn’t a big deal.

Jiang Bai dunked his head underwater, blowing bubbles like a child.

His white hair swayed with the water’s currents, sometimes drifting east, sometimes west—he had way too much fun just floating around.

Calling it a bath was a bit of a stretch—he was mostly just soaking to rinse off the sweat. There wasn’t much they could do about scrubbing down properly in the wild.

After a while, feeling sufficiently clean, he surfaced.

Qiqi was crouched by the lakeside, quietly watching them play in the water.

Zombies don’t fear water—but her clothes would get wet.

And if her clothes got wet, she had nothing to change into.

Meanwhile, Hu Tao had fully submerged herself, leaving only bubbles rising from the water’s surface.

Jiang Bai swam around, switching between breaststroke, freestyle, backstroke, and even doggy paddle—before casually drifting toward where Hu Tao was floating.

“Oh, hey, Director Hu! Fancy seeing you here!”

He let out a whistle at the sight of Hu Tao’s hair spreading out in the water, making her look even more ghostly.

Then, her head suddenly popped up beside him, her voice eerily low.

“…Are you trying to peep on me?”

“I’m just passing through! Just a harmless little fish!”

Jiang Bai immediately attempted to swim away, but before he could escape, a cold, clammy hand grabbed his ear.

“Oh? A fish, huh?” Hu Tao yanked on his ear. “Guess we’re having braised fish for lunch today.”

Her voice was chillingly sinister, and with her wet hair plastered to her face, she looked like an actual ghost.

“Ack—ack—ow ow ow…!” Jiang Bai winced, following the pull of his ear obediently—lest she ripped it clean off.

“I was just checking up on you!” he quickly insisted. “Yes! That’s right! I was just worried about Director Hu!”

His words started out uncertain, but the more he spoke, the more confident he became—until even he almost believed it.

“Oh? Concerned, were you?”

Hu Tao narrowed her eyes.

“Well, then! Since you’re so worried about me, help me wash my hair!”

Jiang Bai shuddered.

“Uh… that doesn’t seem… proper?”

“I’m giving you a chance to show your concern.”

As she spoke, the Staff of Homa materialized in her hands.

Jiang Bai gulped.

“…Understood! No problem! I’ll do my best!”

“Good! Let’s get to shore.”

Hu Tao dismissed her polearm and climbed out of the water. Jiang Bai, feeling utterly wronged, followed behind.

I just wanted to go for a swim—how did I end up as her personal hair-washer?!

A tiny ghost floated out from Hu Tao’s body, gleefully cradling her dripping wet hair, looking at Jiang Bai with a mischievous grin.

“Make me a shelter. I need to change.”

“…Fine.”

With a snap of his fingers, a pitch-black stone hut rose around Hu Tao.

Inside, Hu Tao wrung the excess water from her hair and let the little ghost hold it up to keep it from soaking her clothes.

The ghost, diligent as ever, held her hair carefully with its eyes tightly shut, looking like it was pretending not to see anything inappropriate.

She changed quickly and soon stepped out, signaling Jiang Bai to remove the shelter.

“All right! Time to wash my hair!”

The little ghost cheerfully handed her hair over to Jiang Bai.

It knew its Director hated washing her hair. Every time, it took forever—her long hair tangled easily, and brushing it out afterward was a nightmare.

Jiang Bai stared blankly.

“…How am I supposed to do this?”

Was he just supposed to dunk her head in the lake a few times?

If only her head were detachable—then he could just rinse it separately and pop it back on afterward.

“Make a tilted stone platform, with a gap for my head.”

Jiang Bai followed her instructions step by step, and before long, a makeshift stone salon chair appeared by the lakeside.

Aside from lacking a showerhead, it was basically a proper hair-washing station.

Hu Tao pulled out a bottle of shampoo and lay down.

“Okay! Wash away!”

Her long, wet hair dangled over the edge, floating gently in the water.

With her entire forehead exposed, she lay there looking up at the sky, completely relaxed.

“First, wet my hair. Then, apply shampoo. Then do this… and this…”

She patiently guided Jiang Bai through the process.

Watching her, Jiang Bai had a suspicion.

…Had she been planning this all along?

But as a lowly underling with no human rights, he didn’t dare to ask.

Resigning himself to his fate, he diligently washed her hair like a loyal salon assistant.

Hu Tao hummed a tune, clearly enjoying the service.

Meanwhile, Qiqi—who had been avoiding her—sneaked closer, watching curiously.

“…What is this?”

“…Washing hair,” Jiang Bai responded miserably.

Qiqi glanced at her own long braids, which had gotten a little dirty—then looked back at him.

She didn’t say anything, but her meaning was obvious.

She wanted her hair washed, too.

“Let Director Hu wash it for you!” Jiang Bai seized the opportunity. “She chased you around all morning—shouldn’t she at least make it up to you?”

Hu Tao wasn’t deaf—she obviously heard him.

“I don’t mind, as long as Qiqi doesn’t!” she said lightly, looking almost eager.

Qiqi shook her head frantically.

Let Hu Tao wash her hair?

She’d rather never wash it again.

—

T/N: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO i like this its nice and chill so far

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!