Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [63]

“I wanted to try adding milk and sugar to tea and see how it tastes.”

Jiang Bai had been wanting to experiment with this for a while but never had the chance.

Now that the opportunity had presented itself, he figured he might as well try it. If it turned out good, he could introduce it to Zhongli later.

“That sounds… weird.” Hu Tao also drank tea, but this method was completely new to her.

Squatting by the pot, Jiang Bai slowly stirred. The milk gradually turned a rich, golden hue, and a fragrant aroma began to waft through the air.

Hu Tao scooped up a spoonful out of curiosity and took a sip—surprisingly, it wasn’t bad.

The milk’s smoothness blended with the tea’s depth, and thanks to the Sweet Flower, the usual bitterness was replaced by a pleasant sweetness.

Seeing that Hu Tao had “tested for poison” and was still fine, Jiang Bai confidently scooped up a spoonful for himself, blew on it to cool it down, and took a sip.

It was good—but not sweet enough. He prepared to add a few more Sweet Flowers.

Hu Tao immediately stopped him. “Wait till I serve two bowls first! If you want to drown yourself in sugar, do it after!”

She had no intention of subjecting her teeth to Jiang Bai’s lethal levels of sweetness—she planned to keep her full set of teeth intact until she was eighty!

She poured herself a bowl, then served another to Qiqi.

“Can you even eat food?”

This was the first time Hu Tao had interacted with Qiqi for this long, and she genuinely didn’t know if the little zombie could eat.

“I can eat.”

Qiqi kept her distance from the pot—she didn’t like food that was too hot.

Hearing her response, Hu Tao handed over the bowl.

“It’s hot, so let it cool before drinking.”

Qiqi softly murmured a “thank you,” holding the bowl with both hands as she gently blew on the steaming milk tea. Her puffed cheeks made her look like a tiny hamster.

“Do zombies have a sense of taste?” Jiang Bai asked curiously.

“I can’t taste anything.” Qiqi shook her head.

Food had lost all meaning for her. The only reason she occasionally ate was out of a lingering human instinct.

Since the others had already taken their portions, Jiang Bai finally added his own ingredients.

He threw in a handful of Sweet Flowers—the sweeter, the better! Once they were boiled until completely soft and their sweetness fully extracted, he fished them out and discarded them.

Pouring himself a bowl, he took a satisfied sip. The overwhelming sweetness was pure bliss.

Hu Tao, watching him drink with such enjoyment, felt an ache in her teeth just from looking.

How can this guy handle that much sugar?

A little curious, she cautiously dipped her chopsticks into the pot, tasted a drop on her tongue—

—and was instantly overwhelmed by the sheer, lethal sweetness.

“Blegh! Pfft, pfft!”

Her whole face scrunched up in horror.

Once sugar reached a certain threshold, it stopped being sweet—it became toxic.

Hurriedly, she plucked a mint leaf from a nearby plant and chewed on it to counteract the taste.

She had learned her lesson. Next time Jiang Bai made something, she would definitely ask how much sugar he had used first!

Meanwhile, Jiang Bai, happily sipping his milk tea with a meat pie in hand, laughed shamelessly.

“Director, if you can’t handle it, why even try? What’s the point of suffering?”

“I definitely can’t handle it.”

For once, Hu Tao admitted defeat without hesitation. Compared to suffering through that taste, admitting she couldn’t handle it was far less painful.

As the two of them laughed and bantered, Qiqi quietly sipped her own bowl.

Even though she couldn’t taste it, there was still something… warm about it.

This annoying, hot-tempered woman… isn’t always so bad.

…

Atop Qingyun Peak, wisps of cooking smoke rose into the air.

Hiding in the nearby bushes, The fake adeptus confirmed that Jiang Bai and the others wouldn’t be returning anytime soon.

With that assurance, he sneaked back to his little hut.

A shadowy figure trailed behind him—it was none other than A-Ling, who had been chasing him all this time.

“Master, why are we sneaking around like this?”

The old man looked exasperated. “Don’t call me Master! Just because I accepted your payment doesn’t mean you’re my disciple!”

He opened the door, walked into his room, and pulled out a brick he had been using as a bed support. From within a crack in the brick, he fished out several 100-Mora coins.

Staring at the pitiful handful of coins, he let out a long sigh and pulled out the flyer Hu Tao had given him.

With this little Mora… I can’t even afford a coffin at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

“Master, why do you keep your money hidden here?” A-Ling squatted beside him, watching him extract coins from the brick.

“None of your business where I hide my money!”

With his trick exposed, the old man didn’t even bother pretending anymore. He spoke bluntly, his tone sharp.

Glaring at the fool in front of him, his frustration only grew.

“I already told you—I’m just a fraud! I have no real skills! Why are you still following me?”

“Master, you’re just being humble! Of course you have real abilities,” A-Ling flattered.

“I want to learn your talisman arts! I’m incredibly gifted—just take me as your disciple!”

With that, he knelt and bowed his head.

The old man’s face twisted in disdain.

The more he looked at A-Ling, the more annoyed he felt.

His talismanic arts weren’t something he had learned through proper training. Years ago, he had fallen off a cliff, miraculously survived by getting tangled in vines, and discovered a hidden cave. Inside, he found the remains of a senior cultivator who had left behind their knowledge of talismans, hoping the art wouldn’t die with them.

He had burned incense, kowtowed three times, and inherited the knowledge.

Of course, he could pass the talismanic arts down—but he had his own principles. He wouldn’t just accept any disciple.

First, the person needed talent.

Second, they had to meet his personal standards.

And third, they had to be willing to take care of him in his old age.

He didn’t consider himself a good person, nor did he expect his disciple to be one—but they couldn’t be a villain.

While he was alive, he could at least keep watch. But once he was dead, who knew what they would do?

That’s why one of his requirements was that his disciple couldn’t use talismans for evil, even after his death.

As for the fool in front of him…

Before his scam was exposed, he had found A-Ling amusing—because he was so easy to trick.

But actually accepting him as a disciple? No thanks.

Having retrieved his Mora, the old man turned to leave.

“I need to figure out a way to earn more Mora… Can’t use the name ‘Perils Thunderclap Sovereign’ anymore, and my ‘Invisible Fist’ technique is too easy to see through… What should I switch to? Shame about this hut—finding a house in the mountains isn’t easy.”

Muttering to himself, he quickened his pace.

“Master, wait for me! Master, don’t leave me behind!”

—

Unaware that the old fraud had doubled back, Jiang Bai and the others resumed their journey after resting.

Reaching the mountainside of Qingyun Peak, they followed a small trail until Huaguang Forest finally came into view.

Huaguang Forest was one of Liyue’s most unique landscapes. Unlike the vast mountain ranges of Jueyun Karst, it resembled a massive canyon.

Streams from the mountains converged here, forming a large lake below.

Towering stone peaks jutted out of the water, their sharp edges resembling enormous swords piercing the sky.

Vegetation grew along the cliffs, and a series of hanging bridges and wooden walkways connected the towering rock formations.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!