Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [39]

“Hey, Director Hu, who do you think Zhongli really is…?”

Thinking back to how Zhongli had given him a Vision, Jiang Bai subtly tried to probe into his identity.

“With someone that powerful, why would he settle for working in our small Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?”

“What do you mean small Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?!”

Hu Tao, who had been lying there exhausted just moments ago, immediately sprang to life at his words.

Grabbing Jiang Bai by the collar, she glared at him. “Say that again—what do you mean small Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?!”

Jiang Bai quickly waved his hands. “I misspoke! I misspoke!”

He had only meant to express his surprise that someone as formidable as Zhongli kept such a low profile.

“Hmph!” Hu Tao huffed. If she weren’t so drained right now, she’d have made him regret that comment on the spot!

“Obviously, the reason he stays in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is because we’re worth staying in!”

They provided him with the best food and drink, the finest courtyard to live in, and the most exquisite plants to tend to. He even had a pet—an oriole with the most vibrant feathers. He never carried Mora when he went out, and all his expenses were covered by the funeral parlor.

The only time they ever asked anything of him was when there was real work to be done. Otherwise, his days were spent sipping tea, listening to opera, and taking leisurely strolls. Where else in Liyue could he find such treatment?

Even working for the Qixing wouldn’t be as comfortable!

She dared to say—even if the Geo Lord himself descended to the mortal realm, this was exactly the kind of life he’d enjoy!

At most, they’d assign him a personal servant… Someone like Jiang Bai would be a good fit.

“Alright, alright…” Seeing Hu Tao on the verge of another outburst, Jiang Bai decided not to press further.

“Let’s rest for a bit and think about how to deal with it. We came all this way—we can’t just go back empty-handed.”

They mulled it over, but as the sun rose higher, the warm sunlight spilling over the rocks, Hu Tao unknowingly drifted off to sleep.

Curled up on the sand, she looked like a small cat.

Jiang Bai watched her for a while, tempted to tickle her nose with a blade of grass—but for the sake of his own safety, he restrained himself.

Instead, he conjured a stone coffin around her to shield her from the elements. Once he was sure she wouldn’t be swept away by the tide, he quietly walked away.

He planned to research Geo shields a bit more. Best not to wake her up.

If Crystallize reactions could form shields, then Geo itself clearly had protective properties.

What if he skipped the Crystallize step and directly condensed pure Geo energy into a shield? That should allow him to block the Geo Hypostasis’s attacks.

With that thought, he found a large rock, sat cross-legged, and let his consciousness sink into the earth along with the flow of Geo energy.

Do rocks breathe?

Yes.

The compression of soil, the weight piling upon them, the seepage of water, the gradual shift in mass—all these things create the rhythm of their breath.

Do rocks have a will?

Yes.

The mountains that withstand countless years of wind and rain, the bedrock that forms the foundation of the land, the history they have witnessed—all of it becomes a collective memory.

The will of stone is steadfast. Unbreakable.

A golden shield slowly formed around Jiang Bai, imbued with an ancient, unwavering resolve.

When he opened his eyes and saw the protective barrier surrounding him, a wide grin stretched across his face.

He flexed his fingers, cracked his knuckles, then leapt onto the platform where the Geo Hypostasis resided. Rolling his shoulders, he smirked.

“Time to show you my true strength!”

His weapon, [Debate Club], materialized in his hands—a massive spiked club resting menacingly on his shoulder.

Stone projectiles rained down toward him, but Jiang Bai didn’t even bother dodging. He charged straight through the barrage, running directly at the exposed core.

The shield glowed brilliantly, absorbing every attack with ease. Inside it, Jiang Bai was completely unharmed.

Once he was close enough, he bent his knees and launched himself like a cannonball, swinging his club down hard.

The strike connected with a thunderous impact.

Cracks spread across the previously smooth, golden surface of the core.

Jiang Bai was about to swing again, but the heavily damaged Geo Hypostasis abruptly withdrew its core and reshaped the battlefield, summoning massive stone pillars to channel Geo energy from the ley lines.

The same devastating shockwave that had forced them to retreat earlier was about to be unleashed.

But this time, Jiang Bai wasn’t fazed.

He instantly reinforced his shield, then sprinted toward the core’s platform, bracing himself against the tremors. With a few powerful swings, he shattered the pillar to pieces.

The core crashed to the ground, momentarily stunned.

Jiang Bai grinned.

Raising his club high, he brought it down in one final, merciless blow.

The Geo Hypostasis let out a pitiful wail, unable to absorb elemental energy fast enough to recover. Its core shattered completely, and its remains dissolved back into the natural cycle of elements.

By the time Hu Tao woke up, she groggily sat up on the sand—only to see Jiang Bai standing before her, grinning as he held out a chunk of Basalt Pillar and Prithiva Topaz Fragments.

Nearby, the Basalt Sand had already been neatly collected, waiting for her to store it away with her [Mustard Seed Space].

As for the stone coffin that had been shielding her? Jiang Bai had dismissed it as soon as he finished dealing with the Geo Hypostasis.

“…What the heck just happened?” Hu Tao stared at the Prithiva Topaz in disbelief, blinking hard, wondering if she was still dreaming.

“Director Hu, if you’re doubting reality, I can pinch your cheek for you. If it hurts, then you’re not dreaming,” Jiang Bai offered with an annoyingly smug grin.

Hu Tao immediately smacked him on the forehead, then grabbed his face with two fingers and gave it a hard twist.

“How about you tell me if this hurts? Still wondering if you’re dreaming?” She lifted her chin, looking down at him with pure disdain.

“Ow, ow, ow! I get it! It’s real!” Jiang Bai quickly surrendered.

Once her grip loosened, Jiang Bai rubbed his sore face.

Honestly, it didn’t even hurt that much, but he had to pretend it did. Otherwise, if she thought he wasn’t suffering enough, she’d probably pinch him again.

Hu Tao dusted off her hands, took the Prithiva Topaz from him, then walked to the center of the platform to store the remains of the Geo Hypostasis.

Only after finishing that did she finally turn to Jiang Bai, her curiosity piqued.

“How did you do it?”

Jiang Bai chuckled and summoned a golden shield, encasing her within it.

“I figured out how to make a shield! It’s probably not as strong as Director Zhongli’s, but it should be pretty decent!”

During the Geo Hypostasis’s shockwave attack, he had reinforced the shield multiple times for safety. He wasn’t sure what its damage absorption limit was yet, but he could test that later.

“Oho! Not bad at all!” Hu Tao examined the shield with bright, eager eyes.

It wasn’t exactly the same as Zhongli’s, but it felt solid—real protection she could rely on.

“Not bad, not bad!” She nodded approvingly, praising him several times in a row.

With this, the next time they faced a tough battle, she could just have Jiang Bai shield her.

“Let’s head back—I’ll treat you to a feast at Wanmin Restaurant!”

“Hell yeah!”

“Oh, wait—where are the crabs we caught?”

“…Uh, I think we left them on the mountain.”

“Go get them—now!”

—

T/N: mmm crabs im hungry

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!