Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [36]

Seeing Jiang Bai’s wide-eyed amazement, Hu Tao patiently explained, “This is called a Wind Glider. It’s not actual wings.”

Jiang Bai reached out and touched it. The feathers felt incredibly lifelike, but they were definitely not natural wings.

“You can only use it from high places or with the help of wind currents. You also have to follow the wind direction while gliding, or you won’t be able to stay airborne. It’s said that Wind Gliders were a gift from the Anemo Archon to the people of Mondstadt, and later, they spread to other nations.”

Jiang Bai understood now. The Wind Glider was similar to a parachute, using air currents to allow movement in the sky.

“So I just attach it to myself, and it’ll work?”

At Jiang Bai’s innocent question, Hu Tao waved a finger in front of him.

“It’s not that simple. You need to take a flight test and get a license before you can use it. Otherwise, you’d be flying illegally.”

“What happens if you fly illegally?” Jiang Bai tilted his head.

“In Mondstadt, the Knights of Favonius will catch you, give you a warning, and fine you. But in Liyue…”

Hu Tao’s tone suddenly shifted. She pulled out a Wind Glider and strapped it onto Jiang Bai’s back.

“…the Knights have no jurisdiction here!”

Jiang Bai suddenly understood.

Even though Wind Gliders originated in Mondstadt, their laws didn’t apply beyond their borders.

“Still, if you want to glide without worries in the future, you should go to the Ministry of Civil Affairs and get a license. If they catch you flying without one, you’ll end up in jail.”

“…Got it.” Jiang Bai sighed at Hu Tao’s sudden change in tone.

For a moment, he thought Liyue didn’t care about such things. Turns out, they did.

The Wind Glider was securely fastened to his back, with levers on both sides of his waist to control the wings. Jiang Bai experimented with them, moving them slightly but feeling no discomfort.

He pulled the left lever, and the left wing flapped. When he pushed it forward, the wing’s angle shifted.

“It’s pretty easy to use!”

“Right? Not that complicated.” Jiang Bai quickly got the hang of it.

But even so, flying still required the courage to leap off a cliff.

Jiang Bai wasn’t scared at all. In fact, he was staring at the cliff below, eager to try.

If I jump from here, even if I mess up, I’ll just land in the ocean. Should be fine, right?

A sharp smack landed on his head. Hu Tao pointed to the path they had climbed up from.

“What are you thinking?! Practice here first! Once you get the hang of it, then we’ll fly across!”

This was a perfect practice spot—a high vantage point with a downward slope, allowing for short glides along the path. Even if he fell, the ground wasn’t too far away, so he wouldn’t get hurt.

This guy really thought he could just jump off a cliff without knowing how to use it properly? Did he think coffins at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor were free?

Seeing the dangerous glint in Hu Tao’s eyes, Jiang Bai awkwardly scratched his head and obediently started practicing.

He had assumed they’d be flying right away. Guess he was wrong—Director Hu actually cared about his safety.

Jiang Bai trained along the mountain path, gliding down, climbing back up, then gliding down again. After several rounds, he had mastered the Wind Glider.

Hu Tao sat atop a large rock, propping her chin on one hand and munching on sunflower seeds with the other.

The little ghost hovered nearby, diligently burning every discarded seed shell to ash.

Watching Jiang Bai’s rapid improvement, Hu Tao praised him, “This kid’s got talent! Just like me back in the day.”

“Eiya~” The little ghost clapped its tiny hands in agreement.

As the sun set, the clouds turned a soft pink, spreading across the sky in vast, dreamy hues. The ocean reflected the colors of the heavens, creating a breathtaking scene.

A cool sea breeze brushed past, warm like a gentle hand caressing their cheeks.

Hu Tao swayed her legs, gazing at the sunset with her chin resting on her hand.

“A moment like this calls for poetry… The setting sun is endless, and the evening glow lingers still…”

Jiang Bai climbed up from below and plopped down beside her. One leg bent, the other dangled freely. Seeing such a beautiful view, he couldn’t help but sigh.

“You really are cultured, Director Hu. If it were me, I’d just say—damn, that’s gorgeous.”

“…”

Hu Tao shot him a look of utter disdain.

How did a poetic genius like her end up with such an uncultured subordinate?

“Director Hu, are we heading straight to the island where the Geo Hypostasis is?”

“Nope. The terrain there is too open, not ideal for setting up camp. We’ll go in the morning.”

“Let’s find a spot to pitch the tent. I’m starving.”

“Oh.”

They settled at a spot where they had encountered an Abyss Mage earlier. It was sheltered from the wind, spacious, and—most importantly—it reduced the risk of sleepwalking off a cliff at night.

Jiang Bai set up the tent Hu Tao had taken out, lit a fire, and began warming up their rations.

Dinner was nothing fancy—just some simple meat patties. A quick heat-up, and they were ready to eat. Filling and nutritious.

As night fell, the sky became a canvas of countless stars.

The campfire crackled, casting a warm glow over the mountain top.

Hu Tao sat on a rock, swinging her feet as she gazed at the full moon. She hummed a strange little tune she had made up.

“When the sun is out, I bask in the sun~ When the moon is out, I bask in the moon~”

Jiang Bai picked up the rhythm and added his own verse:

“The mountain path of Guyun Stone Forest is silent~ I hear a wolf howling in the distance~”

Hu Tao’s plum blossom eyes snapped toward him, glowing ominously in the firelight.

“…Are you saying my singing sounds like a wolf howling?”

Jiang Bai immediately straightened up, waving his hands frantically. “No, no, not at all! The wolf was me!”

To prove his point, he even let out a very convincing wolf howl.

With a sinister smile, Hu Tao summoned her [Staff of Homa] and slowly advanced toward him.

“Oh? Since you like howling so much, keep howling. Howl until you can’t anymore. Otherwise, I might just arrange a full funeral service for you…”

“Awoooo~” Jiang Bai, trembling, obediently howled while nodding furiously.

With a huff, Hu Tao turned and walked toward the mountaintop, ignoring him.

Jiang Bai smacked himself. Why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut?

That night, the strange sound of howling echoed through the skies of Guyun Stone Forest. At first, it was loud and full of energy, but gradually, it became hoarse and weak.

“Enough! Stop howling already!” Hu Tao, unable to bear it any longer, cut him off and retreated into the tent.

As for where Jiang Bai was supposed to sleep? Not her problem.

Jiang Bai, pitiful and teary-eyed, curled up by the fire, looking weak, helpless, and alone.

Finally, just as he was about to fall asleep in exhaustion, a set of blankets was tossed out from the tent.

His sorrowful expression vanished instantly. He jumped up, stood at attention, and saluted the tent.

“Thank you, Director Hu! Long live Director Hu!”

Inside the tent, Hu Tao rolled her eyes dramatically, pulled up her own blanket, and turned her back to him. Out of sight, out of mind.

Hugging the soft blanket, Jiang Bai happily conjured a stone coffin and lay inside.

Technically, he could’ve slept without the blanket. But stone coffins were hard, and sleeping directly on them wasn’t exactly comfortable.

Also, they were cold. If he slept like that too often, he’d probably end up with arthritis when he got old.

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!