Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [30]

“Obviously, you’re carrying it! My [Mustard Seed Space] can’t store living creatures.”

“Yeah, yeah. Figured as much.”

Jiang Bai sighed and tossed his shoes into the bamboo basket before slinging it onto his back. He didn’t even bother putting his shoes back on—walking barefoot across the sand and pebbles felt easier.

He had noticed something odd: his sense of pain seemed dulled. Even when a crab pinched his foot earlier, it hadn’t hurt much.

With the beach stretching far and wide, wearing shoes felt unnecessary anyway.

Without waiting for Hu Tao, he started walking toward another island.

The small island where they had landed had nothing but a massive stone spear, now turned into a boulder, standing in its center. But just beyond it, a submerged path connected this island to a larger one.

This place was completely exposed to the wind—even the towering stone spears couldn’t block the gusts. Cooking here was out of the question.

“Hey, wait for me!”

Seeing Jiang Bai leave, Hu Tao pulled out a pair of wooden sandals and slipped them on before hopping off the rock. She splashed through the shallow water, her footsteps making tap-tap sounds as she hurried after him.

…

The island they arrived at was much larger than the previous one. Unlike the untouched sands of the smaller islet, this place bore clear signs of human construction.

Fragments of stone pillars, engraved with intricate patterns, lay broken and scattered. The ground, once adorned with similar engravings, had been worn away by time, making the original designs unrecognizable. Ruined Ruin Guards were strewn across the island, their rusted frames covered in moss and vines.

“Did people used to live here?”

Hu Tao, who had just caught up, overheard Jiang Bai’s question and casually replied, “Beats me!”

The Archon War had happened way too long ago—how would she know what went down back then?

“That’s a Ruin Guard, by the way. Just a broken one.” She gestured at one of the rusted, moss-covered mechanical remnants.

“They tend to linger around ruins, and they rarely appear alone. If you ever run into one, stay sharp.”

Jiang Bai curiously approached the wreckage. Despite being corroded and overgrown, its mechanical nature was unmistakable. It was clearly man-made, unlike the flesh-and-blood Hilichurls he had encountered before.

He had originally assumed Ruin Guards were some kind of elemental creature, but now, it was clear they were machines.

He examined one of the more intact wrecks and noticed that these steel monsters had arms and legs, clearly modeled after human movement. However, they lacked a head.

Instead, at the center of their chest cavity, there was a round core—most likely their “eye.” But now, the cores were dim and lifeless, long since drained of energy.

Jiang Bai frowned.

The technological level of this world felt strangely inconsistent.

On one hand, self-operating machines like these existed.

Yet on the other, fishing boats still relied on wind power, merchants traveled in horse-drawn carriages, and even basic lighting came from candles or some unnamed mineral.

It didn’t make sense.

A civilization capable of building autonomous machines should have highly advanced technology in other fields too.

But Liyue had none of it.

This contradiction gnawed at him.

I should ask Mr. Zhongli about this when we get back…

He barely knew anything about this world yet. Speculating wouldn’t get him anywhere—he’d be better off asking someone who actually knew.

But before heading back, he was definitely going to explore this place.

His gaze shifted toward the largest island at the center of the formation. Even from here, he could make out the ruins of ancient buildings.

What exactly happened here?

Who built these structures atop a landscape formed by spears of stone?

How did these Ruin Guards cross the sea to get here?

And what about the sealed god beneath the island—would it ever awaken?

Jiang Bai felt an unbearable itch of curiosity, like a cat clawing at his heart.

…

After finding a spot sheltered from the wind, Hu Tao began setting up camp.

She pulled out her cooking gear and immediately started barking orders.

“I’ll go grab some firewood. You wash the crabs and set up a cooking station!”

She had no idea whether Jiang Bai could actually cook.

To be safe, she decided to handle it herself.

Firewood was easy to find—there were plenty of dried branches scattered around the island. She even managed to snatch a nest of bird eggs on the way back.

By the time she returned, Jiang Bai had already cleaned the crabs and caught a fish, which he had also cleaned before setting up a makeshift stove.

But as he watched Hu Tao cook, his expression slowly darkened.

She was frying eggs.

Yet somehow, the eggs turned pitch black—and she had arranged them into the shape of ghosts.

Then there was the fish soup.

Why was it black?

Was she brewing a potion for ghosts?!

Jiang Bai immediately stepped in before she could steam the crabs.

“Director, I think I should handle the cooking. You should… uh, take a break!”

Hu Tao pouted. “What, you don’t trust my cooking?”

Under her piercing gaze, Jiang Bai felt a cold sweat forming.

“Of course not! I just… can’t bear to see you work so hard.”

With exaggerated care, he escorted her to a stone chair he had shaped with Geo energy, even dusting off the firewood ash from her shoulders.

“Please, Director, just sit back and relax. I’ll take care of everything!”

“Hmph. Fine. Let’s see what you can do!”

Hu Tao crossed her arms, clearly unhappy, but willing to watch.

Jiang Bai carried the black soup to the shoreline and dumped it into the sea.

The moment the liquid hit the water, small fish and shrimp started floating up, belly-up and foaming at the mouth.

Jiang Bai shivered.

He scrubbed the pot with renewed urgency.

Under no circumstances would he eat Hu Tao’s cooking. Absolutely not.

Once the pot was properly cleaned, he carefully steamed the crabs, keeping a watchful eye to prevent Hu Tao from interfering.

If he let his guard down for even a second, she might turn them into another culinary abomination.

Seeing Jiang Bai hover protectively over the stove, Hu Tao pouted and mumbled under her breath.

“Next time, I’ll make sure he experiences my signature dish…”

…

Before long, the aroma of freshly steamed crab filled the air.

Jiang Bai mixed a dipping sauce and set the meal on the stone table.

Their lunch spread was simple:

• One bowl of crabs.

• One suspiciously burnt fried egg.

“Director, lunch is ready!”

Hu Tao walked over, snapped off a crab claw, and dipped it in the sauce. She took a bite—then raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Not bad! Didn’t think you had it in you.”

Jiang Bai, savoring a piece of crab roe, instinctively muttered, “I only learned because I had no choice…”

“…What was that?”

“Nothing! Absolutely nothing!”

Realizing he had slipped up, Jiang Bai immediately changed the subject.

“Here, Director! Try the egg you cooked!”

—

This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!