I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [27]

“Hah! Fine wine indeed! This fragrance is worthy of filling this king’s cup. More. Bring me more!”

Gilgamesh held a large goblet in one hand, roaring for more as he let out his mad hahaha laugh.

The surrounding soldiers and the King of Kish were delighted to see Gilgamesh being so hearty, and failed to notice the slaves and some of the commoners drawing closer and closer.

“King of Knights, did you not say you had no taste for fine wine?” the King of Kish asked teasingly.

“No taste for fine wine? Fool. A king’s conduct is not measured by common tastes. You people see only the surface of things. A word spoken before and an action taken after need not be shackled together, do they?”

Gilgamesh showed not the slightest embarrassment as he defended his behavior.

The surrounding soldiers and the King of Kish all burst into cheerful laughter, and Kish was filled with an air of delight.

Gilgamesh, so drunk he could barely walk, staggered a little farther away from Kish’s army.

“Hear me, Kish. I, Gilgamesh, have a dream.”

Gilgamesh suddenly climbed to a high place, summoned his great axe, Power of the King, gripped it in his hand, and pointed it toward the horizon.

“Oh? The King of Knights’ dream? This king would like to hear it.”

The King of Kish looked extremely expectant.

“This king desires a world where slaves and commoners may study the law as nobles do, and use that law to defend what is theirs. This king desires a world where the children of slaves and commoners may stand beside the children of nobles and receive the same education. This king will tear down these rotten class divides. Noble or lowly, beautiful or ugly, good or evil—all shall live equally beneath this king’s glory, beneath this king’s protection. They shall stand tall. They shall no longer be forced to kneel before those born above them. They need only bathe in the radiance of this king—of me, Gilgamesh. That is my dream!”

After saying that, Gilgamesh collapsed straight onto the ground.

The King of Kish stared in dumbfounded silence. He had never expected Gilgamesh to utter such disrespectful words.

“Gilgamesh! Were you not willing to come to Kish for negotiations? How dare you say such things!”

Gilgamesh was dizzy and light-headed, and he had forgotten where he was. For some reason, those words simply annoyed him.

“Negotiations? Do your eyes not see the flames of wrath surrounding this king?”

“Gilgamesh!”

The King of Kish grew anxious. He drew his sword and stepped forward to argue with Gilgamesh.

Yes, argue. The King of Kish was still immersed in the powerful aura Gilgamesh had displayed that day.

But then he was suddenly pressed to the ground by a force. When he looked back, several slaves had thrown themselves onto his back and were staring at him with fanatical eyes, as though flames burned within them.

The King of Kish suddenly remembered what Gilgamesh had said.

“No taste for fine wine? Fool. A king’s conduct is not measured by common tastes. You people see only the surface of things. A word spoken before and an action taken after need not be shackled together, do they?”

“So that is how it is.” The King of Kish gave a bitter laugh. “I understood too late! As expected of Gilgamesh. As expected of the King of Knights. You took Kish without spending a single soldier, and even gave me a warning beforehand. So that was what it meant? Was this all within your expectations, Gilgamesh?!”

Unfortunately, no one would answer him again. One blade after another pierced his chest, taking the King of Kish’s life.

Kish did not sleep that night. Most nobles’ homes were breached, but aside from the army, there was no slaughter. Because their king—Gilgamesh—had said that whether good or evil, noble or lowly, all bathed beneath King Gilgamesh’s glory. Only Gilgamesh had the right to judge them. The slaves and commoners wished to bathe beneath the king’s glory, and so they spared their lives.

A certain public-spirited citizen slept right where he was, then was carried by his worshippers onto the King of Kish’s throne.

When Mr. Goldie woke up, he found himself surrounded by people dressed as slaves and commoners, their eyes full of worship and affection.

What happened? Did I drink again? What did I do this time? I give up. I knew from the start not to drink, not to drink, but the wine he brought out smelled too damn good.

Gilgamesh had no idea what was going on, but he knew that in a situation like this, it was best to put on an act. He could not speak. Speaking might expose him. First, he would pretend to be cold and aloof.

“My king! The nobles of Kish are awaiting your judgment! Only you have the right to judge them.”

A strong-looking man who appeared to be their leader stepped forward.

I have Ruler Class affinity now too? That actually sounds kind of nice… Like hell it does. What I want to be is a foolish king. Hold on and see what’s going on first. Old man, if you can talk, talk more.

“Go on.”

Mr. Goldie was concise.

“My king, please allow me to report.”

The burly man tactfully followed him.

“Speak.”

“Aside from the King of Kish, the nobles who committed evil are basically all awaiting your judgment. Last night, we and some of the commoners rose up and subdued the King of Kish and his army. After we spread word of your ‘I Have a Dream’ speech, all the commoners are willing to accept you as our new king today. You are already the King of Kish and Uruk, my king!”

The burly man looked even more excited than Gilgamesh.

Although I don’t know why, this feeling is actually pretty nice. I have a dream? Isn’t my dream just to become a foolish king who does whatever he wants? Whatever. With two cities for me to squander as I please, they’ll discover my true face soon enough.

Gilgamesh felt this one was in the bag. Then he suddenly thought of the Code of Gilgamesh he had assigned Cina to compile, and a plan came to him.

“There is no need for this king to judge them personally. Before long, Uruk will produce the Code of Gilgamesh. Have it erected in the city centers of both Uruk and Kish. Anyone may come to view and study it. Lecturers shall be appointed to explain it. Those among you who know writing may interpret it yourselves.”

The code of laws Cina drafts definitely won’t be a proper code of laws. This one’s in the bag. It won’t take long for Kish to recognize my foolishness. When that time comes, I’ll be in Uruk while Foolishness Points fall from the heavens. Isn’t that guaranteed?

Gilgamesh smiled.

The burly man smiled as well.

As expected of the king. Everything he promised in “I Have a Dream” was true. I must go back and properly work on everyone’s thinking.

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!