I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [23]

“Mr. Goldie, open up. Ahh~”

Eresh held a fork in one hand, a piece of meat from some unknown Demonic Beast skewered on it. Surprisingly, although it did not look very promising, it was actually quite delicious.

“Ereshkigal, you may have a bite as well. Open your mouth. Ahh.”

Mr. Goldie was not the sort of man who failed to understand romance. If there was room to flirt, he would never let the chance slip by. If there was no room, he would make some.

While the two of them were being all sweet and lovey-dovey, Eresh suddenly lifted her head, looking a little bashful.

“Mr. Goldie, now that we’re like this, shouldn’t we go meet your parents?”

Like this? We haven’t done anything… We just fed each other a little. We haven’t even held hands. Is this some Mesopotamian custom? But do gods have to follow customs too?

After weighing it carefully, Gilgamesh felt that meeting his parents might expose his identity, so he answered cautiously.

“A pity, Ereshkigal. This king does not even know where Father and Mother are at present.”

“I know!” Eresh looked pleasantly surprised. “They’ve been vacationing in my Underworld this whole time. They said it’s much quieter there, and no one comes to bother them.”

Oh shit, this is bad. This is really bad. Also, when they said no one would come bother them, they couldn’t have meant me, right? Right?

Gilgamesh froze for a moment, then could not help roasting them in his mind.

No, they’re absolutely hiding from me, aren’t they? According to history, after his original father died, he became a god and lived freely with his mother. There’s no way anyone else would go bother them. They’re definitely talking about me!

Realizing this only made Gilgamesh resist the idea of visiting them even more.

“Honestly, Lugalbanda… I mean, Father really is something too. He’s clearly no longer king, but he still keeps Bab-ilu in his hands and won’t hand it over to you, Mr. Goldie.”

Eresh seemed to let that slip unintentionally.

No, you can just call him Lugalbanda. But wait, Bab-ilu? The key connected to Gate of Babylon? If I had that, why would I be afraid of Kish’s army at all?

Then this was—

Wait.

They’re my parents, after all. It would be improper for me, as their son, not to pay them a visit. Yes, exactly. That’s what I’m thinking.

Having realized this all over again, Gilgamesh straightened his clothes with a solemn expression and took Eresh’s hand.

“Ereshkigal, lead the way. It is only proper that this king pay Father and Mother a visit.”

We’re holding hands. This counts as holding hands, right? My first time in two lifetimes!

“Mm.”

Eresh lowered her head. Where no one could see, a sly gleam flashed through her eyes, and the corners of her lips curved faintly.

If a certain public-spirited citizen, Mr. Goldie, saw this, he would absolutely punch out anyone who said Eresh was easy to win over.

She was easy to win over, yes, but a goddess’s wisdom was still a goddess’s wisdom. What would happen if he tried opening a harem later?

See? One little lure, and he was already going to meet the parents.

…

Because he wanted to hold hands a little longer—cross that out—because he was considering how to deal with the original body’s parents, Gilgamesh walked very slowly, and Eresh kept pace beside him.

But in the end, they still arrived at the door. It was a palace built with white marble as its base tone. Mr. Goldie reluctantly let go of her hand.

Then he stepped forward and knocked. A voice came from inside.

“Eresh again? You don’t have to keep coming. I approve of you and Gil.”

The voice was accompanied by waves of panting.

A certain purehearted goddess’s face went red on the spot, practically turning her into a steam engine. In any case, her goal had been achieved. Mr. Goldie’s parents had approved, and that was enough. So she immediately turned and ran.

Gilgamesh was left standing there in a daze, shocked by how fierce the man and woman inside were.

“It is me.”

Only after a good while, when the noises inside had stopped, did Gilgamesh finally speak.

“Who? Who is it?”

Unbelievable. My voice didn’t change after I became Gilgamesh, right? It didn’t, right? Is this really how you do things?

“Gilgamesh.”

The door was suddenly pushed open, and a mature-looking man walked out.

“Oh, Gil. Why are you here?”

The real meaning behind that line is, If you don’t have business, leave quickly, right? It absolutely is, isn’t it? You won’t even smile at me?

Although he was not Gilgamesh himself, he still felt despair at parents like these. There was no way they would see through him. Even the king of the gods had not seen through him, and he had never come to find them before either. That meant this attitude was how they had treated Gilgamesh all along. Kid Gil growing up crooked really was not Kid Gil’s fault.

“Bab-ilu.”

Gilgamesh did not waste words. Rather, the more he said, the more likely he was to expose himself.

The expression of the man opposite him—Lugalbanda—changed at once. He smiled.

“Gil, you’re still the same as ever. Didn’t I tell you? Bab-ilu connects to the Gate of Babylon. It’s a treasure passed down through our family for generations. Some of our ancestors became gods, so the number of treasures in there is quite impressive. You’re still young. It wouldn’t be convenient for you to carry it.”

Lugalbanda, who had suddenly switched into nagging mode, casually took out a certain key-shaped sword, only for Gilgamesh’s eyes to fill with blazing heat.

“Your mind still hasn’t matured, so Father will keep it safe for you for now. Otherwise, what if you take it out and hurt someone? Even if you don’t hurt anyone, it would be bad if you smashed some flowers and grass. Even if you don’t smash any flowers or grass, it would still be bad if the treasures inside fell out.”

Lugalbanda rambled on and on, completely failing to notice that Gilgamesh’s breathing was growing heavier and heavier.

And it was not merely growing heavier. Right now, Gilgamesh’s eyes were so red he looked like a bull that had spotted a red cloth.

The Gate of Babylon! The key to becoming a “Servant killer”! Although it was not the complete version yet, that was not the point. The point was that if he did not go to the Kish front, he might be torn apart by angry warriors, but if he did go to the Kish front, he might be torn apart by Kish’s warriors. Therefore, this was something Gilgamesh was absolutely determined to obtain.

I’ll scare him a little first.

King Engine, activate.

Conqueror’s Haki, activate.

The two auras overlapped. The moment they were released, Lugalbanda’s words reached his ears.

“But Gil, you’ve been so filial and well-behaved since you were little. Father believes you won’t use it for evil. Today, I’ll hand it over to—”

Before he could say the word “you,” Lugalbanda was startled by Gilgamesh’s aura and red eyes, turned, and ran.

Oh no, I scared him too much. This is bad. Wait, that’s not right. This move used to work pretty well, so why today? Lugalbanda… no, Father, come back! I’m filial! I’m well-behaved! Give me Bab-ilu! Why are you running?!

Gilgamesh hurriedly chased after him, but how could a demigod body that had barely been trained compare to Lugalbanda’s long-tempered divine body?

And so he could only blurt out a line from the very bottom of his sincere heart.

“Father! Halt at once! Your son is filial!”

T/N: LMAOOOOOOOO ITS BACKFGIREDDDDDDDDDD

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!