I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [14]

The sky was dim and yellowed, without a single ray of light. Thick fog hung all around them, the cracked earth could grow neither flowers nor grass, and from time to time, a few ghosts and skeletal soldiers could be seen.

Gilgamesh was dumbfounded. How had he suddenly ended up in a place like this? This couldn’t be the Underworld, could it? Why had he just died like that? And Little Di had come to the Underworld with him too.

Gilgamesh fell silent. Beside him, Little Di had been on guard ever since he woke up.

Little Di was panicking badly. “My king, what should we do?”

Several skeletal soldiers nearby seemed to have noticed them with their hollow eye sockets and were slowly approaching.

But the more dangerous the situation, the calmer Gilgamesh became.

“My grandmother once said this: so long as this king desires it, fate itself shall stand at my side.”

At that moment, Gilgamesh looked extraordinarily great, glorious, and righteous, because he knew very well that the gods would not kill him, the Wedge of Heaven. Since they had dragged him into the Underworld, there had to be some purpose behind it. And if there was a purpose, he would not die.

“Hmph. I have already seen through your petty scheme.”

Gilgamesh smiled.

Then he was nearly chopped in half by a skeletal soldier.

Fuck, they’re serious! Wait, didn’t Eresh come to Uruk last time saying she was going to kill me too? Why?! I didn’t do anything! I can’t die. I’m still a virgin.

Power suddenly surged through Gilgamesh’s body. His demigod blood granted him physical strength far beyond that of ordinary men. Though his technique was not especially refined, a few skeletal soldiers were no match for him when he simply started smashing things at random.

A while later, however, the skeletal soldiers were still attacking endlessly. Little Di was panting and about to hit his limit, and Gilgamesh realized this could not go on. He had to think of something.

He had it!

“Eresh-chan! It is I, Goldie. I have come all the way to the Underworld to see you!”

A ripple suddenly formed in the air, and every skeletal soldier stopped moving.

Whew. My life is saved.

A gigantic ghost drifted over, but Gilgamesh was not afraid, because he knew this was Eresh’s disguise.

“Eresh-chan. Must you hide yourself even from me?”

Gilgamesh waved at the enormous ghost.

Then the huge ghost shrank at a speed visible to the naked eye. “How could this happen… I hadn’t even said anything, and you still recognized me… And Eresh-chan is far too intimate, you idiot!”

Looking at Eresh-chan’s expression, so embarrassed she was about to shut herself away from the world, Gilgamesh only felt himself sinking deep into the river of love. But for now, getting out was more important.

“Eresh-chan, would you be so kind as to grant us passage out of your domain?”

With a gentle smile, Gilgamesh coaxed—cross that out—asked the girl.

Eresh suddenly remembered her duty. “Right, I’m here to kill you.”

Shit.

Gilgamesh cursed inwardly.

“And whom, precisely, do you intend to kill?”

Eresh finally stood up and took out her staff. “Gilgamesh, of course!”

Gilgamesh spoke with a faint, malicious smile. “If your quarry is Gilgamesh, then what concern is that of mine? I am Goldie.”

Then Eresh fell into thought, muttering constantly, “That’s true. I have to kill Gilgamesh, and this is Mr. Goldie. No, no, that’s not right. But… mm, ah, I see.”

Eresh flew into a rage. “Gilgamesh and Goldie are the same person! Don’t try to trick me!”

“How can a name granted in affection be called trickery?” Mr. Goldie argued stubbornly. “This is a special name I have permitted only you to use. In all of heaven and earth, you alone may call me Mr. Goldie. And likewise, I wish to be the only one in all Heaven and earth who calls you Eresh-chan.”

“Uwaaaah!” Eresh crouched down again, covering her face with both hands. “How can you say something like that to a girl?”

Gilgamesh had no idea what to say.

After a while, Eresh recovered and looked at Gilgamesh through the gaps between her fingers. “Did what you said just now count as a confession?”

She was somewhat fidgety.

Mr. Gilgamesh answered decisively, “Indeed.”

Eresh’s face turned even redder. “But… but I’m an unwanted goddess. I live alone in the Underworld, and no one is willing to stay with me. The Underworld is so barren that there isn’t even a single flower. I really wanted there to be flowers in the Underworld, but no matter how many I planted, none of them would grow. Later, I gave up. Just like how I used to always want to go out and play like Ishtar, but later, I gave up on that too.”

She said a whole pile of words to herself without giving Gilgamesh any chance to cut in.

Eresh continued, “Ishtar is clearly my sister. She receives the love of the gods and soars through the sky, while I can only hide away in the Underworld and work. Work is so tiring. I have to make cages to lock souls inside, clean my own house by myself, and also check whether anyone has died an unjust death and come here.”

She paused, then said, “A gloomy, uncute goddess who can only stay in the Underworld and bring death to others… would you still like someone like that?”

Eresh did not dare look at Gilgamesh. Her hands twisted together uneasily, and she lowered her head, waiting for Gilgamesh’s answer.

“Little Di. Withdraw for now.”

Gilgamesh started clearing people out. Though Little Di had no idea what was happening, he still obeyed.

Then Gilgamesh said in a calm voice, “I do not like that Eresh.”

Eresh trembled, and her head lowered even further.

“I do not like an Eresh who cannot take pride in herself. I do not like an Eresh who buries her true nature beneath duty. I do not like an Eresh who has accepted that the Underworld must be the whole of her existence. I do not like an Eresh who gave up on planting flowers. I do not like an Eresh who abandoned her own freedom before reaching for it.”

Gilgamesh spoke those words one after another, and Eresh looked at him with tearful eyes.

“So raise your head, Ereshkigal. Have confidence. Show me your true self. Reach for the freedom you desire. And if you can, return to Uruk with me. You shall become the Queen of Uruk…”

“I can’t. The work of the Underworld cannot be neglected.”

Gilgamesh had not even finished speaking before she cut him off.

“Then this king gives you his word. One day, flowers shall bloom in the Underworld.”

Mr. Goldie stepped forward and gazed at her with deep emotion.

“Perhaps you have simply never noticed it.”

“What?” Eresh was somewhat surprised.

“The flower of the Underworld has always been there. It is you, Ereshkigal—the most beautiful flower in this barren land.”

Their eyes met, and just as it seemed something good was about to happen—

“Lewd stuff is not allowed!”

Eresh suddenly pushed Gilgamesh away and ran off.

In the end, I still didn’t manage to give away my first kiss! Also, at least tell me how to leave!

Then a black hole appeared beneath Gilgamesh’s feet, and he fell straight through it, until his soul returned to his own body. Little Di was looking at him with worship written all over his face.

T/N: wow he conquered death! so he cant die now right he’s like immune to death no concept at all yhep eype yep (IM LYING)

i hope you like little di, :3 i like the nickname if u dont i could make it little dick :3

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!