I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [26]

What do I do now? I’m surrounded. Fight my way out with Gate of Babylon? I don’t have a Noble Phantasm for high-speed movement… This Gate of Babylon is still just the treasury left behind by generations of Uruk’s kings. I don’t have the Sword of Rupture, and I don’t have anything like Enki that can wipe out the enemy in one shot. I’m only physically strong. What am I supposed to fight them with, my head? All I can do is scare them.

Gilgamesh activated the King Engine again and unleashed Conqueror’s Haki as well.

After two heavy thumps, the soldiers around him looked as though someone had seized them by the throat, leaving them unable to breathe.

The King of Kish’s face filled with horror. The disbelief in his eyes seemed to say, If you’re that strong, how did you get captured? Are you messing with me?

Gilgamesh smiled faintly. “This king yields.”

?

The King of Kish and the surrounding soldiers all looked strange. You surrender? After releasing an aura like you were about to break through an entire army by yourself, now you’re telling us you surrender?

Wasn’t this just like someone making a mistake, holding a knife to your throat, and saying, Sorry, forgive me?

“This king yields! Uruk’s army, hear me! I, Gilgamesh, surrender myself!”

Who would believe that?

The same thought flashed silently through everyone present. With that aura of yours, only an idiot would believe you.

The soldiers who had originally been responsible for watching Gilgamesh, and who were standing closest to him, all quietly shifted a little farther away. Around Gilgamesh, a path even faintly appeared, its meaning painfully obvious.

Sir, you fought the Goddess of the Underworld in the Underworld. We’ve all felt your aura already. Please don’t slaughter innocents. We’re scared. Please leave.

Gilgamesh’s face twisted.

“Why? Why?! You mongrels, this king is offering himself to you, and you still dare shrink back?”

This won’t do. How am I supposed to copy Emperor Yingzong of Ming getting captured at Tumu Fortress as a foolish king? I’m not leaving. I’m living here now. Not leaving.

Gilgamesh walked over to the King of Kish on his own, tied himself up with a rope on his own, and made sure it was neither too loose nor too tight.

“You there. Yes, you. Stop staring and come tie the knot for this king.”

The King of Kish wore a complicated expression, but for the sake of his dignity in front of his subordinates, he still walked over and tied the knot.

“Withdraw your army at once. This king will return to Kish with you.”

Gilgamesh was extremely impatient. The longer this dragged on, the easier it would be for some accident to happen. I’m handing myself over this time. Let’s see what you can possibly do now.

Ahad’s voice came from far away.

“As expected of the king!”

Gilgamesh’s expression changed drastically. “Silence! Leave! Take your men and go!”

Ahad could no longer control himself and shouted, “If the battle continues, Kish will surely be defeated, but Kish will never let the matter rest and will certainly return again. To keep our two countries from endlessly warring with each other and plunging both peoples into conflict, the king, who could already see victory before him, gave up the honor he could have won, abandoned everything, and went with Kish’s army to Kish for negotiations. As expected of King Gilgamesh!”

Everyone present had a change of expression. The complexity in their eyes turned into shock, then reverence.

Gilgamesh’s legs went weak. His vision went dark. He wanted to say something, but no words came out. “You… You…”

If you say that, what’s the point of me going to Kish? Do I even need to go to Kish anymore?

“As expected of the King of Knights sung of by the bards. You are worthy of that title. Army, follow this king and the King of Knights back to Kish!”

The King of Kish came over and wrapped an arm around Gilgamesh, personally helping him onto a horse before returning to Kish.

Gilgamesh’s mouth went dry, and he sprawled directly over the horse’s back.

Seeing this, the King of Kish could not help sighing in admiration. “Are you so sorrowful because you must leave your homeland? Please do not be sad, King of Knights. Kish will welcome you with the highest respect, and once negotiations are settled, we will swiftly escort you back to Uruk!”

I only ask that you keep your word.

Gilgamesh did not move.

…

Ishtar watched Gilgamesh depart with a complicated expression. Hearing the people around her praise Gilgamesh’s merciful reputation, she felt a little strange inside.

Why does it feel like he was trying to become a foolish king but failed?

Ishtar shook her head, deleting that ridiculous thought from her mind, and secretly mocked herself for having her thoughts turn childish along with her body.

“Honored Goddess of Venus, King Gilgamesh told me a story before he left. I cannot decipher the deeper meaning in King Gilgamesh’s story, so I would like to ask you to interpret it for me with divine wisdom.”

Ahad bowed respectfully and asked Ishtar for guidance, not daring to underestimate her merely because she currently looked like a child.

“Oh? A story from Gilgamesh? Hmph. This goddess would like to hear what kind of tale that tiresome man left behind. Speak.”

Ishtar lifted her head, putting on a disdainful air.

After Ahad explained the story in detail, Ishtar’s expression turned complicated, and she fell into thought.

“Kish’s army suffered heavy losses in this campaign, and the King of Kish loves great achievements and glory. To launch this war, he levied far too many taxes on the commoners, leaving the people unable to live. He even squeezed labor from the slaves. I heard that some commoners were even reduced to slavery. Kish lies downstream from the great river outside Uruk. If we release fish with cloth strips hidden inside them here upstream, they will receive our hint downstream. So that is what Gilgamesh meant. He went back with Kish’s army in order to conquer Kish completely and eliminate future trouble!”

Ahad grew excited. “Over the past decade or so, Kish has destroyed too many cities in the southern region, leaving only Nippur here. If we conquer Kish, then march on Nippur, the south will belong to Uruk!”

At that, Ahad immediately tried to go do it, but Ishtar stopped him.

“Do you even know how?”

“I… I, well…”

After stammering a few words, Ahad fell silent.

“Hmph. Then this goddess will reluctantly lend Uruk her aid. I am Uruk’s patron city goddess, after all.”

Ishtar called forth the Boat of Heaven Maanna and prepared to head for the riverbank, while Ahad went to collect strips of cloth.

The cloth strips hidden inside the fish bellies clearly read:

Tonight, Uruk shall rise. Gilgamesh shall be king!

…

By the time they reached the outskirts of Kish, night had fallen, and the sky was full of stars. Even so, they could still see many people busily working over there.

When they drew closer, Gilgamesh realized they were slaves building the city walls. Their bodies, however, were covered in only a few scraps of cloth that might not even count as clothing, and they were so thin they looked as though a gust of wind could knock them over. They held tiny bits of grilled fish meat in their hands, cheerfully rejoicing that the number of fish had increased today.

Gilgamesh sighed inwardly. This king of Kish was even more like a Foolish King than he was. Also, the way those slaves and commoners were looking at him seemed especially fervent.

“King of Knights, come drink with this king!” the King of Kish invited him.

The corner of Gilgamesh’s mouth twitched. “Wine? Spare me. This king has no interest in dull indulgence.”

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!