I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [17]

After thinking it over carefully, Gilgamesh decided to send him off to the market. Gilgamesh had been there many times himself, and nothing had ever happened. It was a stable place.

“Ahada. Your task has borne fruit. This king now grants you a new command: observe the market. Will you accept it?”

Mr. Goldie’s expression did not look very good, but there was nothing else he could do.

“King Gilgamesh, I am willing.”

At that moment, Ahada’s heart burned even hotter. The king must have some special commission for me. The market… There must be something unusual about the market, or something that can be improved.

…

Gilgamesh had Ahada’s calendar spread among the people, then returned to the palace in utter despair.

I lost out. I really lost out this time. Almost everyone in Uruk now knows what Ahada achieved by watching the stars. I’m not a foolish king anymore…

Thinking of this, Gilgamesh sank into even deeper despair.

Lily stared at Gilgamesh as he walked at the front of the crowd, her eyes burning with worship.

He fought tens of thousands of skeletal soldiers alone, drove back the Goddess of the Underworld through sheer presence, and broke through the passage between the Underworld and the human world with strength. Such bravery… Yes, among the virtues of a knight, this must surely be one. This is what King Gilgamesh embodies—Valor! And for the sake of protecting the people of Uruk from the Goddess of the Underworld’s encroachment, he went to the Underworld. This is another virtue King Gilgamesh embodies—Sacrifice!

Gilgamesh collapsed onto the throne, thinking about what foolish king behavior he should commit next.

Damn it, this time I have to do something big. At this rate, Enkidu probably won’t even show up. Wait, wouldn’t it be better if he didn’t?

Gilgamesh sank into thought.

No, Enkidu still has to appear. Otherwise, this history might become a Singularity, and I do not want to be ripped apart by Gudako’s bare hands.

…

Siduri’s feelings were extremely complicated at the moment. In her eyes, Elder Ahada had clearly seemed to have been casually sent away, yet he had actually been entrusted with an important task. As the person closest to the king, she had failed to notice it. As expected, not a single action of the king’s could be taken at face value. The bards? The king said to have them spread his misdeeds, but in Ahada’s case, the king had done nothing wrong. Yet the king had still proposed this idea…

Siduri’s eyes grew brighter and brighter. She left Gilgamesh’s side and summoned all the bards.

“You will be divided into two groups. One group will go to other countries and spread word of King Gilgamesh’s strength, benevolence, and wisdom. The other group will spread it within Uruk. Anyone who can state King Gilgamesh’s faults to his face will receive a high reward. Anyone who can submit a clay tablet identifying King Gilgamesh’s faults will receive a medium reward. Anyone who spreads King Gilgamesh’s faults among the people will receive a lesser reward.”

The bards looked at one another, all of them shocked.

“King Gilgamesh… As expected of the king. With such a benevolent and wise king, how could Uruk possibly fail to prosper?”

“He may overlook his own faults, so he has others point them out? As expected of the king.”

“I will be loyal to King Gilgamesh forever!”

The bards were all deeply excited. To be able to take part in King Gilgamesh’s great undertaking and be recorded in the course of history made their hearts surge with emotion.

Siduri nodded in satisfaction. Surely the king would be satisfied this time.

Returning to the palace, she saw King Gilgamesh deep in thought—or rather, staring blankly into space—and reported the matter aloud.

Gilgamesh fell silent once more. He looked at Siduri.

Flattery and sycophancy. She really is a treacherous minister. What she did should be… No, she wasn’t wrong. I’m just too weak. I haven’t managed to do what a foolish king should do. Speaking of which, Uruk still has a slave class right now, doesn’t it?

At this thought, Gilgamesh’s eyes lit up.

Mesopotamian society had a very clear hierarchy: the gods, kingship, the priesthood, the nobility, soldiers, commoners, and slaves. So who really controls public opinion? Kingship may stand supreme, but it is isolated and outnumbered. The ones with the real say are the priesthood and the nobility! And both of them own plenty of slaves. If I order those slaves freed, won’t that offend the priesthood and the nobles? Once they start spreading my evil reputation—no, just doing this should earn me plenty of Foolishness Points on its own. Good, good. That’s what I’ll do.

“Siduri. Issue this decree to all who own slaves. They are to release every slave in their possession. From this day forth, this king abolishes slavery. Let there be no more slaves in Uruk. Those who are freed shall become commoners under my rule.”

Gilgamesh spoke words that, in that era, could truly be called shocking and outrageous.

“My king, this must absolutely not be done. If it is mishandled, I fear it may trigger a riot.”

That’s exactly what I want.

Gilgamesh’s heart filled with joy.

“Meshsha. This matter is yours to oversee. Carry out this king’s decree.”

Meshsha was the person from Ura—the assassin from last time. She had been under Siduri’s watch all along, so Gilgamesh had not made any move.

“As you command.”

Meshsha bowed, joy rising in her heart. Freeing the slaves—what a foolish move. Those great lords would certainly push back. They might even incite a coup or civil war. I must handle this properly. This will weaken Uruk’s national strength far more than killing one king ever could.

And so Meshsha excitedly went to the home of Ahada, the greatest noble in Uruk. Ahada agreed completely with King Gilgamesh’s policy without another word. What a joke. The Ahada Calendar that King Gilgamesh had named for him was certain to be remembered for generations. What were a few mere slaves worth compared to that?

The other nobles were different. They were unwilling to hand over their property just like that, but when they thought of Gilgamesh’s powerful heartbeat that day, they knew refusal was not an option. Resentment began to grow in their hearts.

When Gilgamesh heard some rumors calling him a foolish king, he almost burst out laughing.

“My king, these freed slaves have nowhere to go. How should they be handled?”

Siduri was rather helpless. With this many slaves, food and shelter were both problems.

Slaves…

He had it!

Qin Shi Huang’s construction of the Great Wall had sparked popular unrest and rebellion. He, Gilgamesh, could use slaves to build city walls just the same!

Gilgamesh no longer hesitated. “Send them to construct the city walls. As for the cost, seize the offerings meant for the gods and use them as wages. Inform the commoners as well. Any household that wishes to take part may do so. Remember this: only food will be provided.”

“As you command.”

Siduri was deeply moved. So King Gilgamesh had planned everything out from the beginning. He would have commoners work alongside the former slaves, gradually integrating the former slave class into the commoner class. While building the city walls, they could also use materials to build houses for themselves. As expected of my king.

Hearing of this, Lily once again discovered Mercy among the virtues of a knight.

T/N: IFBIAOFIASHFASFLKAFKLASHIOPSA I FEEL LIKE IF HE TRIED BEING A GOOD KING HE WILL BE A FOOLISH KING AT THIS POINT

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!