I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [29]

“Ishtar. Do you even know the way?”

Gilgamesh shouted in boredom at Ishtar, who was currently driving Maana.

“T-Too much talking! A goddess obviously knows the way!” Ishtar’s voice rose and fell over the sentence, then she muttered too quietly to hear, “It’s not like I just want to spend a little more time alone with you or anything.”

“What was that?”

Gilgamesh asked, confused. He had not heard her clearly.

Ishtar turned her head away, her face red.

Gilgamesh understood at once. For someone as terrifyingly clever as Mr. Goldie, it was perfectly clear why Ishtar’s face had gone red!

“So you truly do not know the way.”

Mr. Goldie seized control of the Boat of Heaven Maanna and forced it to stop.

“Enough. This king will ask someone himself.”

Gilgamesh picked a direction with signs of human habitation, got off, and walked over.

Beside him, Ishtar angrily rode her little e-scooter in circles around Gilgamesh, muttering things like “you don’t understand at all” and “a goddess’s wisdom.”

Mr. Goldie helplessly quickened his pace.

…

Before the village, the people working there saw Gilgamesh’s golden hair and crimson eyes, as well as Ishtar circling him on her little e-scooter, and were somewhat startled. They immediately bowed to the ground.

“May we ask what brings you two deities here?”

Gilgamesh felt a little helpless.

“You there. This king is no deity. This king is Gilgamesh, King of Uruk.”

He did not say something chuunibyou like, “You bathe in this king’s glory, yet do not know this king’s identity,” and then attack. That would be far too chuunibyou. Yes, he was talking about you—Archer Gil. Embarrassing.

“Are you the King of Knights and King of Conquerors sung of by the bards?”

The farmer raised his head in surprise and studied Gilgamesh.

They don’t call me king, but King of Knights and King of Conquerors. Then this must be Nippur. Speaking of which, how did this foolish goddess manage to veer all the way over here? Forget it. I’ll just correct their impression of this king.

Gilgamesh called forth Gate of Babylon. Golden ripples appeared continuously in the air, and one powerful-looking weapon after another revealed its fierce outline, as though they would become beasts that took human lives in the very next moment.

“My king is wise!”

That farmer suddenly shouted.

I’m wise again? I was just about to rob you… This makes me a little embarrassed… As if. Call people over. The more who come, the better. Then this king can obtain even more Foolishness Points!

Ishtar finally stopped circling Gilgamesh and sat to the side, looking extremely curious.

When the farmers all put down their work and came to pay respects to the legendary King of Knights, Gilgamesh felt a little lost.

Their eyes are so fervent. I’m a little scared.

“Honored King of Knights! Nippur has suffered for a long time under two mud monsters. One has sharp claws and fangs, while the other can freely change its shape. They play with each other in the farmland and the forest, but their games have destroyed the fields we depend on to live, leaving us too afraid to go out and work in the wild. You came here specially because you heard of this and intended to eliminate them, did you not?”

Although they phrased it as a question, the farmers’ tone was utterly certain. The King of Knights, praised by poets for his noble character, and the King of Conquerors, who possessed the will to challenge the strong, would never let such monsters go.

Two mud monsters… I remember Humbaba liked Enkidu because Enkidu’s form as a mud monster resembled it, and Enkidu even gave Humbaba a flower wreath. The two of them were friends right up until the war began. This is in the bag. One is Humbaba, the guardian of Gate of Babylon, and the other is Enkidu: Chains of Heaven. If I defeat them, I can expand Gate of Babylon by a level and even obtain the Chains of Heaven. But am I, Gilgamesh, the sort of man who chases fame and profit like that? No!

Gilgamesh righteously refused their request, recklessly shook off their pleading hands, and ordered Ishtar to take him back to Uruk at once.

Ishtar remembered the earlier story and felt that Gilgamesh’s actions could not be understood on the surface. And so, she realized the truth.

Gilgamesh says that on the surface, but in reality, he wants to deal with the two mud monsters himself so that if he fails, Nippur won’t be implicated.

Ishtar felt she understood. She transmitted her thoughts into the farmers’ minds with divine power, making them release their hold on Gilgamesh.

Although Gilgamesh was a little confused, after Ishtar repeatedly patted the back seat of her little e-scooter, he still sat down.

“Do not imagine anything unnecessary. Return to Uruk. Now.”

Mr. Goldie had a bad feeling, but he still sat properly and held on tight.

“We’re setting off!”

Gilgamesh closed and opened his eyes, and then he was in the forest. Beside him sat two mud monsters, currently weaving flower wreaths.

The sight was so beautiful that Gilgamesh could not bring himself to speak and break it. He quietly got off the vehicle, glared at Ishtar, who was secretly laughing, then carefully tiptoed toward the edge of the forest.

Suddenly, two gusts of force swept across Mr. Goldie’s back. In a flash of inspiration, Mr. Goldie rolled away like a panicked donkey.

The two mud monsters had already pounced onto the spot where Gilgamesh had been, still muttering things like “make friends.”

Beast Affinity is a passive skill? If it works, that’s great, but why do I know what they’re saying? Language Mastery… Then never mind.

Gilgamesh felt this was in the bag. They had some starting affection, they could communicate with one another, and there was no conflict of interest. Could they still end up fighting? No, they could not!

“Then be friends with this king.”

“Fri…end…”

One of the mud monsters, the one without sharp teeth and therefore probably Enkidu, began to move forward.

“Wait. To form a friendship, one must first speak.”

Enkidu did not stop moving. “Looks like you don’t understand at all.”

Mr. Goldie nearly broke down. “Understand? Understand what?”

Enkidu came forward, its entire body turning into mud that wrapped around Gilgamesh and formed a cocoon-shaped object. Then there was no more movement.

“Let this king see!”

Gilgamesh felt as though something inside his body was being continuously copied, then lost.

Still, the feeling of being wrapped in damp mud was not all that bad. After a long while, realizing he was not getting out anytime soon, Gilgamesh gave up struggling and closed his eyes.

“Pressure… not bad.”

…

…

…

A/N: What was being copied and lost was wisdom! There are still two more updates today. Below is the FGO explanation of En and Humbaba’s Bond.

Flower of Humbaba 4★
ATK: 100/100
HP: 100/100
Effect: When equipped on Enkidu, recovers party’s HP by 500 every turn while self is on the field.

Card Description:

Why did she wear that wreath?”

The Chain of the Heavens whispered to no one in particular.
A monster it once fought.
A monster who was its friend until the battle.
A terrifying monster with claws sharper than anything, even the Chain of the Heavens.
But there was a wreath of flowers on her head.
The flowers the Chain of the Heavens had once planted in the Cedar Forest.
Those tiny, pale flowers.
The flower garden that the Chain had bent the laws of Earth to create, for the sake of that monster with the heart of a little girl.

“The very simplicity of this gift reached her pure heart.”

Thus spoke the man who stood next to the Chain of the Heavens, and returned to the city, leaving behind the second wreath for his friend.

top one should be humbaba?

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!