I, Goldie, Am Going to Be a Foolish King! [15]

The journey back from the Underworld left Gilgamesh utterly exhausted, and the moment his attention slipped, he fell asleep. That left Little Di alone to deal with the nobles who had come to confirm whether the news of Gilgamesh’s death was true and discuss countermeasures.

The gods who dwelt in Heaven also cast down their gazes, though they did not dare look directly at Gilgamesh, still frightened by the incident last time.

They were deeply puzzled. Eresh’s Authority in the Underworld was exceedingly powerful, so why did Gilgamesh look completely unharmed?

“Did the king perhaps offend the Goddess of the Underworld? If so, we should hold a ritual for the Goddess of the Underworld as soon as possible to atone!”

An old noble with graying hair spoke in a tone that made it sound only natural.

“Yes, yes!”

“She is the goddess who governs death, after all.”

“The king should take the initiative and apologize!”

The other nobles echoed the old noble’s words.

Only Little Di stared coldly at them, sending a chill down their spines.

Suddenly, a young noble who could no longer bear being stared at jumped out. “You slave! You must have incited the king into committing some crime that offended the goddess!”

Little Di folded his arms and said proudly, “Fool. You have it backward. I witnessed the great King Gilgamesh personally chastise the Goddess of the Underworld.”

“This… You had better not speak nonsense!”

The old noble jumped out again.

“Hmph! I saw it with my own eyes. King Gilgamesh stood unmoving, and with presence alone, he forced the Goddess of the Underworld to flee. Around us, the skeletal soldiers summoned by that goddess filled the land by the tens of thousands. My king wielded his axe, and with each swing, he swept away an entire rank of them, until the Goddess of the Underworld flushed red with anger and fled in defeat. In the end, it was my king who shattered the rift between the Underworld and the world of man with his supreme power, allowing us to return.”

In Little Di’s eyes, Gilgamesh came with a filter.

The others did not know that. They felt both joy and fear at Gilgamesh’s strength. Joy, because with such a powerful king, Uruk could be spared the suffering of war; fear, because if their own inaction, or even corruption, was discovered, they might be put to death. They looked at one another, and each secretly resolved that from now on, they would work diligently, give their all, and serve until death.

The gods in Heaven drew in a cold breath.

“He fought tens of thousands of skeletal soldiers alone?”

“He forced Ereshkigal to withdraw through sheer presence, even within her own domain of the Underworld?”

“He shattered the boundary between the Underworld and the human world by strength alone?”

The gods all felt a chill run through them. If they provoked Gilgamesh, they truly did not know what they could do. Fortunately, as Gilgamesh had grown stronger, he had also become wiser, which allowed the gods to breathe a sigh of relief.

In the end, they still could not help sighing.

“Gilgamesh is terrifying indeed!”

“Ah, I also heard something else,” Anu, king of the gods, said. “In order to avoid Gilgamesh, Ishtar passed by Uruk three times without entering. Even her temple was smashed.”

“Such disrespect toward the gods…” the god Enki could not help saying.

Anu glanced at Enki and said flatly, “That is precisely what worries me. Gilgamesh is too powerful, and he lacks reverence for the gods. As the Wedge of Heaven between us and humanity, he is still not sufficiently qualified. If this continues, I fear he may one day threaten our position.”

“Yes, yes.”

The gods echoed him one after another.

“That is why we must devise a countermeasure.”

Anu raised both hands.

The gods looked at one another, but none of them could produce a plan. Threats? Whoever dared threaten Gilgamesh now might have their head smashed in. Blessings? As the King of Uruk, what did Gilgamesh lack? Besides, it did not seem that Gilgamesh was interested in treasure or women.

“Enki, what say you?”

Anu looked toward Enki, and the gazes of the gods followed.

“It is inconvenient for us gods to act directly. However, we may join our powers and create a weapon of the gods. I intend to name him Enkidu—the Chains of Heaven. The power of a single god is insufficient to admonish Gilgamesh. We are gods; there is no need for us to lower ourselves and fight him personally. We need only send Enkidu to make Gilgamesh fulfill his function as the Wedge of Heaven, binding gods and humanity together.”

After considering it for a while, the god Enki came up with this method.

Anu was the first to agree, and the gods could hardly wait to begin. But Enki stopped them just as they were about to move.

“We must not allow Gilgamesh to sense our divine power. Otherwise, he may retaliate.”

At Enki’s words, the gods fell silent again.

“We can use our Authorities to make clay his body, then borrow the scent of the earth to conceal the scent of our divine power.”

Anu proposed an improvement.

And so the gods each used their own Authority to grant Enkidu life.

…

Little Di was writing furiously on a clay tablet. Having grown up with Gilgamesh since childhood, he was born with a fan’s filter toward Gilgamesh.

When he was young and heard adults telling stories of heroes, Little Di had been utterly fascinated.

But Little Di discovered that all those heroic tales were stories from recent times. The deeds of heroes from the far side of distant history had long since been lost.

In Little Di’s eyes, Gilgamesh was the one and only hero in the world, the one and only king. That was why, ever since he was a child, he had begun recording Gilgamesh’s every word and deed, just as he was doing now.

[The rude goddess Ishtar was boundlessly greedy, demanding vast amounts of treasure, cattle, and sheep from Uruk. King Gilgamesh employed a small stratagem, sending the goddess Ishtar away with a strange stone, then displayed his own power, forcing Ishtar to bless Uruk and swear that she would not enter Uruk of her own accord.]

[The Goddess of the Underworld, who governs death, stretched death’s tendrils toward Uruk. To save Uruk from its future destruction, King Gilgamesh entered the Underworld with his attendant Fris Dickens. With his strength alone, he battled the Goddess of the Underworld’s skeletal army of tens of thousands, frightened the Goddess of the Underworld into retreat through sheer presence, and made the Goddess of the Underworld submit to him. No matter what, she refused to let King Gilgamesh return to Uruk. That goddess was incomparably beautiful, but King Gilgamesh was not fond of women. Angered that she, despite being a goddess, had acted so selfishly, he shattered the passage between the Underworld and the human world, then returned to the human realm with his attendant Fris Dickens.]

Little Di put the clay tablet back in place, perfectly satisfied, then stood guard over King Gilgamesh as he slept.

T/N: ah yes gil is only love for clay not women hehuehuehuheuehe, also where can i get a glazer like little di?????????? hello????? anyone?

This is a fan translation of 我金闪闪要当昏君 by 五色猫 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!