The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [30]

“Tracen Academy… I’m finally here.”

Time flew by. After several years of training, sixteen-year-old Symboli Rudolf finally stood before the gates of Central Tracen Academy. At that moment, she could not hide her excitement. Her chest rose and fell again and again, betraying the nervousness of this graceful young Umamusume.

After several years, Rudolf had clearly grown from the willful little Umamusume she had once been into an outstanding Umamusume shaped by the Symboli family’s teaching and example. Though she had yet to debut, her aura, her confidence, and every outward condition she possessed now all declared that she was an Umamusume so excellent that no one of her generation could compare.

And Rudolf’s earth-shaking transformation had come not only from the Symboli family’s strict, professional education and training. A large part of it had also come from the extremely high standards Rudolf imposed on herself. She had never forgotten the promise she made with Kitano. She would become Japan’s first undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume. For the sake of that dream, from the day Rudolf officially began training as an Umamusume, she had demanded the very highest of herself.

Rudolf knew that the goal she had to reach was a height no one had ever achieved before. And in order to realize Kitano’s dream, she had to work harder than any other Umamusume, so that she could become the strongest of her generation.

For this dream, Rudolf put in more effort than any Umamusume in the Symboli family. She showed perseverance and tenacity that shocked all her peers and even the elders within the family. There was no need to say much about the hardship involved. Rudolf only knew that all of her hard work had been rewarded.

In the past, she had not known what she was working so hard for. The “pride of the Symboli family” spoken of by her elders had felt vague and empty to Rudolf. It was not until Kitano appeared, not until they exchanged dreams as children, that Rudolf finally understood who she was working so hard for.

If that boy had not supported her back then, if Kitano had not healed her at the very beginning… she never would have been able to make it to this day. Even if she had made it, Rudolf did not think she could have handled everything so perfectly. In the process, she would surely have lost many things.

“It really is thanks to Kitano’s warning… I didn’t expect that once my talent as an Umamusume gradually showed itself, the people in the family really would start arguing because of Sirius and me. If Sirius and I hadn’t stabilized the situation in time, the family might have become a complete mess.”

“It’s all thanks to him…”

Now, just as she had promised Kitano back then, Symboli Rudolf stood at the gates of Tracen Academy as agreed. For once, she felt incredibly nervous. When she had first received her acceptance letter, her excitement had been beyond description. Every day had felt like a year, and she had wished she could sprint straight here. Yet now that she was standing before the academy gates, she found herself shrinking back a little.

For who knew how many times, Rudolf checked her appearance. Only after finally confirming that nothing was out of place in her outfit did she step through the academy gates in what she considered her most perfect state.

She knew Kitano would definitely be waiting for her at Tracen Academy. Although they had not seen each other for nearly ten years, ever since she began training with her family, Rudolf had a powerful feeling that Kitano would surely appear.

He must have been just as excited as she was for this day to arrive, right? He must have been waiting for the moment they met again in what he believed was his most perfect state too, right?

Kitano would absolutely never break his promise. Thinking this excitedly, Rudolf’s pace quickened a little. She had clearly only taken a few steps, yet her heartbeat was already so fast that she began to sweat and pant slightly.

And in that instant, Rudolf’s heart suddenly skipped a beat. Her gaze fixed on one person. There, she clearly saw an incredibly familiar figure standing sideways in front of her.

Even after ten years had passed, Rudolf recognized Kitano at a glance… His skin was even paler than in her memory, clearly because his illness had worsened. But he was still standing. That familiar, optimistic smile was still on his face.

It was him! Rudolf was certain. That was Ryuichi Kitano. The playmate who had supported her countless times all the way here. The person she had longed for day and night.

Before Rudolf’s eyes, Kitano’s profile seemed to notice something. The smile on his face also began to widen, just as it had in Rudolf’s memories.

Had he noticed her? Was the reunion she had imagined countless times about to begin like this?

For a moment, although she had rehearsed it countless times, when the crucial moment arrived, Rudolf felt as if her throat had gone dry and she could not make a sound. Her body began to tremble slightly, and her mind went completely blank. The cool lines she had originally thought up had long since vanished without a trace.

All she remembered was that, at the time, she reflexively reached out a hand. She tried desperately to respond to him, but no sound came out. In her anxiety, all she wanted was to hurry forward and grab that man.

—Until a sudden response that did not belong to her rang out not far away.

“Trainer-san~”

The instant that feminine voice rang out, dashing yet carrying a trace of gentleness, Rudolf’s excited body froze in place as if petrified. The light in her eyes scattered for a moment, but she also noticed the source of that voice: an Umamusume whose figure, appearance, and presence were in no way inferior to hers, running straight toward Kitano.

Under Rudolf’s dazed gaze, this unknown Umamusume and Kitano, who was supposed to belong to her, embraced without the slightest hesitation. Both of them were smiling brightly, and the love that Umamusume could not hide in her smile was so glaring in Rudolf’s eyes.

For one instant, Rudolf, frozen stiff in place, even wondered if she was hallucinating… Was the person who had run over and embraced Kitano actually her own body? Was only her soul still left behind, unable to come back to itself?

But what pulled Rudolf back to reality at that moment were two passing Umamusume beside her. When they saw Kitano and that Umamusume embracing, familiar, suggestive smiles appeared on their faces, and they began whispering to each other.

“As expected, Trainer Kitano and C.B.-senpai really are a perfect match. Are they seriously not dating?”

“Idiot. Even if they don’t admit it openly, they’re definitely secretly dating behind the scenes. The main thing is, if something like that got out, they’d be swarmed by reporters, so of course they’d never admit it!”

“Ah~ I’m so jealous. I really want to trade lives with C.B.-senpai. I want a Trainer who saves me and gets saved by me too~”

The back-and-forth between the two passerby Umamusume finally brought Rudolf back to herself. She forced down the trembling in her heart, took a deep breath, and barely managed to calm herself before lowering her voice to ask the two passerby Umamusume:

“Senpai, I’m a new Umamusume here. Could you tell me in detail—what is the relationship between those two over there?”

“Hm? A new first-year? You actually don’t know C.B.-senpai and Trainer Kitano?”

However, the passerby Umamusume’s first sentence shattered the last bit of fantasy in Rudolf’s heart… The surname Kitano was not especially common. If he was appearing at Tracen Academy now, there was only one possibility.

Kitano… might have already forgotten the promise from their childhood. Now, he had found another Umamusume and become her Trainer.

“…Yes. I don’t interact much with the outside world.”

Even so, Rudolf forced down the trembling in her heart and forced a smile as she asked the passerby Umamusume in front of her, “Could you please tell me more?”

“Hee hee, you’re jealous too, right? Of C.B.-senpai and Trainer Kitano’s relationship.” At that moment, the other passerby Umamusume seemed to misunderstand her meaning. Under Rudolf’s gaze, this passerby Umamusume finally told her everything she knew, and all of it became the final straw that crushed Rudolf’s spirit.

“Those two are a famous pair here at Tracen Academy, you know! Mr. C.B. and Ryuichi Kitano! Everyone at Tracen Academy recognizes them as the perfect combination. They’re an existence no one can come between!”

“Rumor has it that Trainer Kitano originally couldn’t join Tracen Academy because of his constitution, and it was C.B.-senpai who overruled everyone’s objections and personally argued with President Shinzan, which let Trainer Kitano join as an exception! That’s basically love at first sight!”

As she said this, Passerby Umamusume A sank into a long moment of envy. At that moment, Passerby Umamusume B could not suppress her own desire to share either. Completely failing to notice that Rudolf had lowered her head slightly and was trembling all over, she immediately said:

“And that’s not all! I heard that during the Satsuki Sho, Trainer Kitano had an attack from his illness and almost died! But as soon as C.B.-senpai won the Satsuki Sho, Trainer Kitano, who had been in critical condition, suddenly escaped danger!”

“And some time ago, after C.B.-senpai won the Japanese Derby, Trainer Kitano even recovered enough to walk! There’s no way to explain something like that with science. Maybe it really was a blessing from the Three Goddesses.”

“As expected, it has to be C.B.-senpai. In a few months, when the Kikuka Sho comes around, she’ll become Japan’s first ‘undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume,’ right?”

RUMBLE!

At that moment, the words of the two passerby Umamusume exploded beside Rudolf’s ears like a thunderclap. Rudolf, who had already lost focus, blankly raised her head when she heard the phrase “undefeated Triple Crown.”

And in the next moment, she felt as if something inside her heart had shattered…

It was her hope. It was the fantasy she had held for so many years. It was what she had clung to until now, what had unknowingly become the “faith” that carried her through all her hardships… and in this moment, it shattered all over the ground.

Gone. In that moment, Rudolf felt as if she had nothing left.

The persistence she had held all this time, the dream of the “undefeated Triple Crown” she had always longed for, the promise she had always wanted to fulfill… all of it had been taken away. Taken by that Umamusume called “Mr. C.B.” She had replaced Rudolf’s place, stood beside the person Rudolf had longed for day and night, and become the one who would realize his dream.

…Then what was she? What was she supposed to be?

Belated unwillingness surged up, and tears filled her eyes, yet stubbornly refused to fall. She clenched her fists tightly, allowing her nails to pierce her skin, letting lines of blood slowly flow through the gaps between her fingers…

In truth, she had been mentally prepared. Ten years was enough time for a person to forget many things. She had long known that perhaps only she had been stupid enough to use this promise as motivation. In the end, perhaps only she could comfort herself with these childhood memories.

For Rudolf, from the moment Kitano forgot her, Kitano had “died” in her recollections, “died” in her memories. Now, this person who had forgotten their promise and no longer remembered her… was nothing more than a stranger to her.

But the anger in her chest was still impossible to suppress. There were still furious emotions in her heart that had nowhere to go. Once Symboli Rudolf stripped away all her dignified, majestic, and gentle masks, deep down, she had never been a magnanimous Umamusume.

Kitano… just you wait. I’ll prove it to you. That undefeated Triple Crown trainee of yours… is nothing in my eyes.

I’ll prove it to you. I am Japan’s strongest Umamusume. I’ll make you regret this so deeply that you remember this day forever.

Symboli Rudolf’s empty eyes stared at the bloody scratches on her open palm. At this moment, all of her feelings toward Kitano had transformed into unforgettable anger at having been “betrayed.”

That disheartened young Umamusume, with eyes that seemed to burn like flames, looked one last time at the boy who had once made her heart leap with joy. In the end, she forced down the trembling in her heart, made herself turn away in fury, and never looked back again.

So she never knew that, at the very instant she turned away, that boy had unconsciously reached out just as she had—only to realize something, force a smile, and lower the hand he had stretched out to call her back…

T/N: ITS DOOOOOOOOOOOMEDDD EVERYTHING IS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!