The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [16]

“Trainer? Trainer Kitano?”

“Ugh…”

The women’s voices at his ear slowly dragged Kitano back to consciousness. When he opened his bleary eyes, what came into view was not an unfamiliar ceiling, but an expanse of blue sky.

Kitano knew, of course, that this did not mean C.B. and the others had thrown him onto the roadside. As he came to, he also felt lighter than he ever had before. All of it pointed to one answer: he was now in the Three Goddesses’ realm.

“Welcome back, Trainer Kitano. We’re meeting much sooner this time.”

Once Kitano sat up, the three goddesses, each different in appearance yet all gazing at him with the same kind, loving eyes, came forward one by one to greet him. But Kitano was not happy to see them. Instead, his expression sank. He shook his head and said softly,

“Well, that’s really… I didn’t expect my life this time to end so carelessly. I haven’t even helped Oguri Cap untangle the knot in her heart yet.”

“If Oguri Cap’s knot in this loop came from inheriting the influence of the old loop she and I shared, and now I’ve died so carelessly, maybe her problem will never be solved for the rest of her life… and might even carry over into the next loop?”

The more Kitano thought about it, the more depressed he became. He knew very well that meeting the Three Goddesses could only mean his life in another loop had ended again. Though he had never wanted to restart in any loop, nor did he want to experience another twenty years of life all over again, he had never resisted it as strongly as he did today.

Especially when he thought that Oguri Cap might have to keep living in a new loop for more than ten years with that knot still unresolved, while he himself would be powerless because his life had started over, Kitano found the outcome very hard to accept.

However, after the three goddesses before him exchanged glances, all of them broke into smiles they could barely hold back. Fortunately, the red-haired goddess, Darley Arabian, took the initiative and stepped forward to explain.

“Please don’t worry, Trainer Kitano. Your life in this loop has not ended yet. We merely took advantage of the fact that your consciousness had not fully recovered and brought you here.”

“Once we’ve told you what we need to tell you, your soul will return to your body. Please be at ease.”

“So I’m not dead?”

Darley Arabian’s words, without question, lifted Kitano’s previously sunken spirits. Hearing that he had not restarted, Kitano let out a long sigh of relief. Good. He still had a chance to change all of this.

However, his thoughts clearly could not escape the wise eyes of the Three Goddesses. Another goddess, one with short dark-bay hair and a sharp scar across one eye, as gallant as a warhorse—Byerley Turk—suddenly spoke to him.

“You’re not dead, but you’re not far from it either. This time, you dragged your sick body around to cook for that child and fainted from exhaustion. At the very least, you lost another week of your lifespan. In less than a month, if your trainee can’t win her race, you really will be seeing us again.”

“Do you have confidence in your trainee? Are you truly certain she can win that race for you?”

“Of course. With Festa’s strength, winning her debut race won’t be a problem.” Kitano answered with exceptional confidence. After all, Nakayama Festa was someone he had personally trained for the past few years in the Gold Family. He knew very well just how strong Festa was.

He was not talking about an explosive performance like the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe or the Takarazuka Kinen in actual history. Even if she only showed the strength she usually displayed in training, as long as she was not racing against an Umamusume capable of defining an era, Nakayama Festa would win her debut race without issue.

And there was less than a week until her debut race. Kitano had checked the list long ago, and there were no famous Umamusume at all. In a lopsided race like that, the chances of Nakayama Festa throwing it away were far too low.

“But we think it is still somewhat dangerous, Trainer Kitano. You do not seem to have noticed that the child is currently on the verge of being crushed. If you do not start paying attention soon, you may very well come to see us again in a month, you know?”

At that moment, the last goddess, with beautiful blue hair—Godolphin Barb—also approached Kitano with narrowed, smiling eyes. Seeing that his face still showed confusion, the kindhearted goddess explained,

“That child is very lonely. She feels you are not paying enough attention to her… Did you truly not know?”

“Uh… are you talking about Festa?”

However, Godolphin Barb’s words left Kitano lost for a moment. He subconsciously recalled the years he had spent in the Gold Family, especially his time with Nakayama Festa, and for the first time, he began to wonder whether the Three Goddesses were joking with him.

Kitano had gone through so many loops, and he had honed more than just his abilities as a Trainer. After meeting all sorts of Umamusume and serving as Trainer for many famous and distinctive ones, he had also developed his own insights and methods for how to get along with them. He would not dare claim he could cooperate perfectly with every single one, but at the very least, he had gotten along harmoniously with his trainee in every loop.

Kitano also understood Nakayama Festa’s personality very well. She was an Umamusume who could not hide what was on her mind. Back in the Gold Family, she had never concealed her likes or dislikes from him, and she spoke plainly to him about everything. In fact, back when Kitano’s body could still handle it, Festa would even pin him down and beat him up. How could she possibly be the type to bottle things up inside without saying a word?

However, Kitano’s reaction made the Three Goddesses look at one another. Before long, he saw the same odd smile appear on all three of their faces, and they all fixed him with gloating looks.

“—Since you don’t understand, Trainer Kitano, why not return to the mortal world and see for yourself? I believe once you see that child’s current state, you will change your mind.” As Godolphin Barb spoke, she walked forward and pushed him. Darley also nodded with a smile and suggested,

“Also, if you want that child to open her heart to you, you had best interact with her wholeheartedly, just as you did before.”

“Exactly. That child is clearly your trainee, yet you’ve thrown yourself entirely into your past trainees. No wonder she feels lonely.” Byerley was even more blunt. Before he left, taking advantage of the moment when Kitano could not see her, the goddess’s face showed a mischievous smile, and her tone could not hide her excitement. “We’ve prepared a big gift for you too, so just wait and inspect it properly in the future—now go!”

Finally, Kitano only felt Byerley kick him from behind, neither too lightly nor too heavily, right in the butt. As he lost his balance, his vision went dark. When he came back to himself, the environment around him had already changed completely.

His body became unbearably heavy once more, and everything before his eyes blurred into light. Kitano opened his eyes groggily. As his consciousness returned, he quickly heard the familiar beeping of a heart monitor, as well as faint crying beside his bed…

Hm? Crying?

Now awake, Kitano turned his head with some difficulty. The familiar knit cap before him let him recognize at a glance the Umamusume sitting by his bedside with her head buried as she cried…

This was the first time Kitano had ever seen her wear such a sorrowful expression. And aside from the crying, he also heard her tear-choked murmurs.

“Idiot… you idiotic… bastard…”

“You promised. You promised you’d watch me stand at the top of the world… You promised you’d keep walking with me…”

“Why? Why did you just up and die like this…”

“If you leave me like this, what am I supposed to do… You bastard, what am I supposed to do…”

“Besides you… who else in this world could understand me… Who else would be stupid enough to believe I can do it…”

Beside Kitano, Nakayama Festa’s “accusations,” one after another, plunged the now-awake man into a long silence. Only now did he finally understand that the Three Goddesses had not been joking with him. In a place he had never noticed, deep inside Nakayama Festa’s heart… there really were feelings he had not known about.

No, perhaps the old him would have noticed them? Listening to such intense emotion pour out of Festa, Kitano could not help reflecting on his own actions. In truth, during these two days at the academy, Festa had voiced plenty of dissatisfaction, hadn’t she? When he had spent time with C.B., and when he had spent time with Oguri Cap, Festa had actually been jealous. It was just that at the time, his focus had been on them, and he had forgotten to consider Festa’s feelings.

Kitano had forgotten that Nakayama Festa was actually a very sensitive child with a faint sense of inferiority deep inside her. The stronger the dependence she showed toward him, the more it proved she could not be without him, and the more afraid she was that he would slip away and leave her behind.

I really am an idiot. If the Three Goddesses hadn’t told me this, I probably still wouldn’t have noticed any of it.

After experiencing “death” once, Kitano, who corrected his mistakes as soon as he recognized them, quickly walked out of his misconception. He recalled the teachings the Three Goddesses had given him: that he should interact with his trainee the same way he had before.

The same way as before… That means supporting them wholeheartedly, indulging them, not fearing my own countdown to death, and letting their lives have their own meaning?

Honestly, I really can’t escape death, can I… But compared to my own death, sure enough, I still don’t want to see these children, who only get one life, cry or meet tragedy.

Fine. I can be reborn anyway. Everything can start over anyway. I’ll calm myself down and let them all live their lives without any regrets. Just like I did back then with C.B., with Oguri Cap, and the others…

Kitano made up his mind again. Beside his bed, Nakayama Festa still had not noticed that the person lying there had already awakened. She could not bear to look at Kitano, who had no breath and no heartbeat, and she had shut herself off from the world so completely that she had not even noticed the heart monitor had resumed its rhythm. Crying, she delivered her final “accusation” to him.

“Do you have any idea… how much I really need you…? Idiot.”

The moment her words fell, after a brief pause, Nakayama Festa, who was lying over the hospital bed, froze.

She felt a familiar touch on her head. That sensation made her stop breathing all at once, and she cautiously lifted her head.

At that moment, before Nakayama Festa, whose eyes were completely red and whose pupils had widened, the man who only a few minutes ago had clearly stopped breathing and lost his heartbeat, who had been separated from her by life and death, was looking at her with a smile full of apology and relief.

For an instant, Nakayama Festa froze. She thought she was hallucinating. She thought she was so unable to let go of this man, the only one who understood her and trusted her, that she had actually imagined he was not dead.

“—I’m sorry, Festa.”

Only when Kitano’s hoarse voice sounded in the next moment did Nakayama Festa confirm that none of this was an illusion. Before him, he saw fresh tears once more overtake the eyes of this girl who had always seemed so cold. He finally understood that Festa’s dependence on and trust in him ran deeper than he had imagined.

The little strength he had left now made even speaking difficult. Even so, he still hoped his apology could successfully reach Nakayama Festa.

At least, judging by Festa’s current reaction, he should have succeeded.

“…You heard that?”

“Mm?” Festa’s sudden question made Kitano, who had just relaxed, pause slightly. But at that moment, Nakayama Festa, whose eyes were still wet with tears and whose face held both sadness and resentment, forced herself back into her usual attitude of not caring about anything the moment she saw Kitano had awakened.

Even so, Nakayama Festa still found it hard to hide the turmoil inside her. She lowered her head slightly, not daring to look directly into Kitano’s eyes. Only after a long while did she say in a low voice,

“…Forget what I just said. Got it?”

“…Gold Ship and the others are outside. I chased them— I mean, they all went out. I’m going to tell them you’re not dead.”

With that, before Kitano could react at all, Nakayama Festa lowered her head, pulled down her knit cap, and quickly left the hospital room. Yet she still could not hide the delayed shame that had finally caught up with her, nor the heat in her cheeks, burning as if they were on fire.

Without even realizing it, Nakayama Festa failed to notice that in her heart, a “shackle” was now slowly opening… That “karmic burden” of the Gold Family was quietly breaking free of its restraints, just as she had hoped.

T/N: the three goddesses are hot i want all of them to dom me

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!