The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [10]

“Ah, Festa. You’re here too.”

However, Kitano showed no reaction at all to Nakayama Festa’s teeth-gritting expression, greeting her the same way he always did. Judging from the calm look on his face, he was already quite used to Nakayama Festa’s moody personality.

Kitano also understood very well why Nakayama Festa’s expression had changed so suddenly. After living with the Umamusume of the Gold Family for several years, he knew that although they usually seemed strange enough already, there was one point where they were consistent with the vast majority of Umamusume—possessiveness.

No, it probably wasn’t that severe… After all, Kitano’s own body fundamentally could not withstand the kinds of experiences Tracen Academy’s Trainers went through. When they got pushed too far, the worst that happened was being forcibly made to Umapyoi by Umamusume. The process merely involved a little “hardship,” such as being drugged, knocked out, or stuffed in a sack—minor things like that…

But Kitano believed he would never experience any of those things. Never mind that he had always controlled his social interactions because of his constitution; his body also did not allow any Umamusume to direct that kind of possessiveness at him, because if they did that, he would genuinely die. The Umamusume in his care did not dare do anything that might stimulate him even a little while getting along with him, let alone anything that outrageous.

The personalities of the Gold Family’s Umamusume were still a little different from simple possessiveness. One could only say they lacked a sense of security, so the slightest disturbance would reflexively make them overthink things. That probably had something to do with their generally small stature and their childhood experiences…

Back at the Gold Family, Kitano had already experienced this firsthand. Whenever he was responsible for their training progress and gave one of them some private extra guidance, he could always feel the others watching him from the shadows with gazes that were either unhappy or uneasy…

But those feelings only lasted a little while. They came quickly and left just as quickly. The Gold Family had never escalated such things into family conflicts. That was why Kitano was not worried at all about Nakayama Festa’s change in expression.

“Perfect timing. We were planning to go to the cafeteria. You probably haven’t had breakfast yet, right? Let’s go together.”

“—I came to make breakfast for you.”

Sure enough, Kitano’s usual response from the past gradually calmed the furious Nakayama Festa. Perhaps she had also realized that if some truly dangerous person had done something to Kitano while she was away, his physical condition would definitely not allow him to be here right now.

Even so, Nakayama Festa did not lower her guard. She stared at Mr. C.B., who was standing in the place that should have belonged to her, and an annoyed click of her tongue slipped out before she strode forward and shoved Mr. C.B. aside.

“This spot is mine, and this person is my Trainer. He doesn’t need anyone else worrying about him!”

With that, Nakayama immediately fixed her gaze on Kitano and questioned him coldly. “Also, why are you with her?”

“C.B.-senpai was only following the student council’s arrangements and taking extra care of a half-crippled person like me, so you could worry less and focus more of your energy on training.” Kitano was extremely practiced at handling Nakayama Festa’s excessive unease. He also did not forget to turn his head slightly and say softly to Mr. C.B.:

“Sorry, C.B.-senpai. This girl has always been very sensitive, and she often does things that go a little too far. Please don’t take it to heart. She doesn’t actually mean any harm.”

“…No, Trainer Kitano. This time, coming here uninvited was indeed my fault.” After a brief silence, Mr. C.B. showed not the slightest hint of disappointment. On the contrary, what appeared on her face was the relaxed smile Kitano knew so well—the free and easy smile that seemed to take nothing to heart, as though she could laugh off any hardship.

“In any case, we haven’t known each other for very long. Even if Rudolf said we should take better care of you, I did get a little carried away today.”

“Since you’re all right, and your trainee is here to look after you now, then I should… make my exit, shouldn’t I?”

The moment she finished speaking, Mr. C.B. showed not the slightest lingering attachment. It was as though the person who had enjoyed spending time with Kitano earlier had not been her at all. She waved her hand, seeming to leave not even the faintest trace of her emotions behind, yet stirring waves in someone else’s heart.

Kitano watched Mr. C.B.’s retreating back, and without realizing it, felt a sharp ache in his heart. It made him recall certain things from the past… things from before his death.

“Please go without worrying, Trainer-san. Don’t worry about me.”

“Just like you said, I’ll slowly forget you. I told you, didn’t I? I’m the freest wind. I won’t be bound by anything.”

“Isn’t this… what you wanted, Trainer-san?”

In a daze, Mr. C.B.’s voice echoed in Kitano’s mind once again. And when Kitano came back to himself from that lapse, his gaze once more focused on Mr. C.B.’s back as she left without hesitation, the brief ache in his heart prompted him to speak words of invitation.

“—Didn’t we say we’d eat together? C.B.-senpai, Festa and I still aren’t familiar with the academy. There are many places where I hope senpai can help us.”

The moment Kitano said this, almost immediately, Nakayama Festa beside him stared over in surprise, and Mr. C.B.’s back, not far away, stopped in place once more.

The instant Kitano spoke to keep her there, Mr. C.B.’s mood felt as if it had gone through a thrilling roller coaster. It had plunged hard just moments ago, but now Kitano’s invitation lifted her heart to a new height once again.

A joy she herself could not understand welled up in Mr. C.B.’s heart, only for her to force it back down. When she turned around, the smile on her face had not changed in the slightest, yet she answered at once, as if afraid Kitano might change his mind.

“All right. Let’s go together.”

“Mm. Let’s go together.”

I’m sorry, C.B… For now, while you’ve lost the memories of our past, I can only use this method to give my heart a little comfort.

When I died back then, I really did want you to forget me and live well on your own… But in truth, how could I not have wished that there would be even a brief trace of me left in your heart?

Now that you have completely forgotten all of that, please allow me to make use of your breeziness, and pretend that you care about me.

Kitano silently hid all of his thoughts in his heart. He had long since grown used to doing so—never speaking of the feelings within him, never doing anything that would hinder the Umamusume from realizing their dreams. Because with his current condition, even if he sought happiness for himself, there would surely be no good result.

That was why he wanted to change everything this time. But before he could pursue happiness… he had to survive.

“Huh? It’s really lively here. What’s everyone busy with?”

Just as Kitano and the others were about to leave together, an unexpected voice suddenly barged in. As everyone turned to look, they saw Gold Ship not far away, also carrying a bag as she slowly walked toward them, a rare look of confusion on her face.

She was not the only confused one. The other three were puzzled too. In the end, Kitano was the first to break the silence, asking softly:

“Golshi-chan? Why are you here? Did you need something from me?”

“What do you mean, need something? I came to bring you breakfast, Kitano-chan! Didn’t we promise that after breakfast, you’d go with Golshi-chan to the other side of the sea and search for the place where I was born?”

“Mm. Good. I don’t remember that at all.”

However, Kitano did not mind Gold Ship’s illogical nonsense in the slightest. Only Nakayama Festa, also born into the Gold Family and one of the few who could occasionally keep up with Gold Ship’s train of thought, found a clue in Gold Ship’s fragmented words.

Gold Ship… Was she planning to go around her and take care of Kitano too, just like Mr. C.B.?

Was Kitano her Trainer, or theirs?

In that instant, a strong irritation surged in Nakayama Festa’s heart once again. She felt an urge to vent her resentment, but she had no idea why she was angry, nor who she should vent it at.

He was clearly just an unwanted puppy at first… So why did he suddenly become so popular the moment we got to the academy?

In the end, I still don’t have a single thing that belongs only to me…

Nakayama Festa silently told herself this in her heart. At that moment, just like Kitano, she chose to bury every thought deep within herself.

These two people were clearly the same, both hiding countless thoughts in the deepest parts of their hearts where only they themselves knew. Like two straight lines that were identical yet never intersected, perhaps they were aligned, but neither had ever realized that about the other.

And if, one day in the future, one of those straight lines were to tilt ever so slightly… perhaps the process would be long, but when the moment came for their hearts to meet, what kind of collision and sparks would occur… Surely, one day, everyone would know.

T/N: IOAHOFHASOFHAOSFOASJFKNFANFLKASNFKLASNKLFASNKLASKLFA DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!