The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [32]

When had she begun to think she had already let go of these feelings?

Sometimes, time seemed to smooth over so many wounds you once thought you would never get past. It made you feel that perhaps you were not as emotional as you had believed, and that so many things from the past had never needed to drive you quite that mad, quite that anxious.

For Symboli Rudolf, now well into the Senior Division, those words seemed to describe her years at Tracen Academy more truthfully than anything else. By now, she had already achieved fame and glory. After returning from her overseas campaign, she successfully took over from Shinzan-senpai and became Tracen Academy’s new student council president.

Her three-year campaign had come to an end, fixing Rudolf’s record at the proud achievement of seven crowns, a feat unprecedented in Japan and likely never to be repeated. And now, through her results, Rudolf had fully and deservedly obtained the title she had failed to claim even after that desperate clash against Mr. C.B. on the track: “Japan’s strongest Umamusume.”

After Mr. C.B. retired following the Tenno Sho (Spring), leaving her own record at five crowns, there was no pressure or resistance at all to Rudolf receiving the title of “Japan’s strongest.” The question once debated by countless people—who was stronger, Mr. C.B. or Symboli Rudolf?—had now become a meaningless bit of idle chatter over tea.

Even now, if any fan of Japan’s Umamusume were asked that question, most would probably give the same widely circulated assessment:

“Rudolf is still stronger, after all. It’s just that C.B. and Kitano’s partnership was too perfect. Neither of them could have done it without the other.”

Had Rudolf heard those words three years ago, back when she was still obsessed with “getting revenge” on that faithless Kitano and Mr. C.B., she would absolutely have exploded in anger. But if the Rudolf of today heard such an assessment, she would probably only smile it off.

When she had first realized that she would never be able to win Kitano back, Rudolf truly had gone mad, grown anxious, and given herself over to despair. She had even once thought of leaving everything behind, departing Japan forever with her overseas campaign and letting Mr. C.B. and Kitano bask in the honor of “Japan’s strongest” on their own.

But in the end, the one who unexpectedly dispelled that thought was none other than Ryuichi Kitano—the very person who had forgotten her.

…

“This is for you, Rudolf.”

On the day before she was about to leave with her family for her overseas campaign, Kitano actually came to see her on his own. He came to see her, the one whom the media had been constantly describing as having an “extremely strained relationship” with him ever since the Tenno Sho (Spring) ended, Mr. C.B. was hospitalized for a fracture in her left leg, and it was finally announced that she had no choice but to retire.

…Though, to be fair, their relationship had already been strained before the Tenno Sho (Spring).

At the time, Rudolf had been utterly disheartened. All she saw was Kitano handing her a notebook of his own accord, explaining quite straightforwardly:

“I have a habit of writing down some of my theories and training results. You’re about to represent Japan overseas, aren’t you? I think these notes of mine might be able to help you a little.”

“…You don’t blame me?” Once again, Rudolf looked at the man before her—the man she had once yearned for day and night, and who had also broken her heart so completely. At the time, even she did not know whether she had gone soft, or whether some faint trace of fantasy still lingered in her heart… a fantasy that this person who had once been closest to her might return to her side. She made one final attempt.

“C.B. can never run again. And you and she were… You really don’t blame me?”

“—That was C.B.’s choice. Both you and she were striving for victory. How could I blame you?” At the time, Kitano seemed to find Rudolf’s fixation a little amusing, and added softly, “To tell you the truth, I was the one who suggested giving you these notes, and C.B. agreed right away without even thinking about it.”

“These training records were originally written for C.B. Back then, I also wondered whether C.B. might have the chance to go on an overseas campaign. Since C.B. can no longer use them now, I think giving them to someone who needs them is the best place for them.”

“Rudolf, please keep running. Carry C.B.’s share with you too.”

Facing the notebook Kitano offered with a smile, Rudolf accepted it blankly. After a long silence, she let out a soft laugh that even she could not tell was relief or self-mockery.

This man had clearly forgotten her long ago, yet he was still thinking about how to help her. They clearly had nothing to do with each other anymore, yet this man was still the same as before… still meddling too much, still reaching out to help her—especially when even that girl C.B. had actually agreed to it.

If Rudolf and C.B.’s positions had been reversed, if Rudolf were the one lying in a hospital bed now, unable to run for the rest of her life, she would absolutely have bound her sole pillar of support to her side forever. She would never have agreed to let him deliver some notebook to her opponent…

Perhaps… she really was inferior to C.B. No wonder this man had been drawn to her.

Perhaps all of this was the Three Goddesses’ arrangement. Kitano’s ideal of an undefeated Triple Crown had been realized in the end. It was just a pity that the undefeated Triple Crown winner… had not been her.

But perhaps she no longer needed to be so angry over it, or so jealous. She… should accept reality.

The two of them truly suited each other. They truly were good together. She should step aside. As an opponent, as a… friend, she should give up on this unrequited love that would never be answered.

…

“Looking back on it now… perhaps that was the most correct choice I ever made.”

In the student council room, Rudolf looked at the documents in her hands, but her mind could not help drifting back to the support C.B. and Kitano had given her along the way. It could be said that without them, her tenure as student council president would never have gone so smoothly. Even now, the majesty of her name as “Emperor” might still make some Umamusume think she was an unfeeling tyrant.

Slowly, Rudolf had also made peace with the things of the past. Those so-called wounds of the heart had gradually become acceptance of reality. She had already let go… probably.

“Prez!”

Just then, a young, childish voice came with the opening of the student council room door, and the small figure of an Umamusume appeared in front of Rudolf’s desk. Once Rudolf saw who it was, a fond smile immediately appeared on her face, and she said softly:

“Teio, did the training arranged by Trainer Kitano end so soon?”

“Mm, it’s already finished! Trainer-san said I’ve got a lot of talent! He said maybe in the future, I could become an undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume like you, Prez!”

The little Umamusume in Rudolf’s arms was named Tokai Teio. She was an Umamusume Rudolf had met shortly after Rudolf first achieved her undefeated Triple Crown. For some unknown reason, Tokai Teio admired her to an extreme degree, even declaring the first time she met Rudolf, “I’m going to become an undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume too!”

In that moment, Rudolf had been dazed for an instant, as though she had seen the shadow of her past self in this child.

And of course, the reason Rudolf had recommended Tokai Teio to Kitano was not simply because she had placed a portion of her own regrets onto Tokai Teio… In truth, it had more to do with a problem concerning C.B. and Kitano.

“Speaking of which, Prez, I don’t get it. C.B.-senpai likes Trainer-san so much, so why won’t she confess to him already?”

Sitting on Rudolf’s lap, Tokai Teio had not yet fully matured. Though she was already a middle schooler, she still had the build of an elementary school child. And the innocent Teio had voiced the very question that neither she nor Japan’s Umamusume fans could answer.

After Mr. C.B. fractured her leg in the Tenno Sho (Spring), it had not taken long before she held her retirement ceremony due to her injury. While this left many fans regretful and heartbroken, it also made them excited—because they believed they had finally waited long enough for Kitano and Mr. C.B. to break through that final layer of paper.

Ever since Rudolf had enrolled, Kitano and Mr. C.B.’s relationship, in everyone’s eyes, had practically been no different from dating. Add to that the rumors of uncertain truth—whether it was “overcoming every objection to enter Tracen” or “miraculously recovering after winning the Satsuki Sho”—and Kitano and Mr. C.B.’s image as a “match made in heaven” had long since become familiar to the Japanese public.

Everyone believed the only reason neither of them had said anything was that Mr. C.B. did not want to repeat the much-criticized dating incident of her parents’ past. Even Rudolf herself had thought the same. Perhaps the day Mr. C.B. retired would be the day she and Kitano finally got together…

—But years had passed, and there was still no movement from either of them. Neither of the two seemed anxious about it at all. Instead, it was the long-expectant fans and Umamusume who had grown unbearably impatient.

And Rudolf knew very well that, rather than that matter, Kitano had somehow become even busier looking for his next trainee.

Unfortunately, the matter had become awkward. In the past, because the media and all kinds of rumors had spread Kitano and Mr. C.B.’s story far too widely, and because the two of them had further proved in the Tenno Sho (Spring) that they were a “perfect pair who could not do without each other,” that originally praiseworthy story was now producing the opposite effect.

Every Umamusume felt that Kitano and Mr. C.B.’s partnership was far too perfect. There was simply no room for anyone else. Anyone who joined would become a “third party,” and none of them believed that if they joined, they would pair with Kitano better than Mr. C.B. had.

When your senior is Japan’s strongest Umamusume, perhaps that Trainer will be endlessly sought after, and countless people will fantasize that they might become the next “Japan’s strongest.” But when your senior and your Trainer are publicly acknowledged as a match made in heaven, basically no one will be tactless enough to destroy such a beautiful relationship.

As a result, Kitano had become terribly anxious, yet not a single Umamusume was willing to become his trainee. Rudolf found this deeply regrettable, and also… just a little relieving.

It was under those circumstances that Rudolf recommended Tokai Teio to Kitano, a child who had only just entered Tracen Academy’s Elementary Division.

“That… I don’t know either. Maybe C.B. has her own plans.” As for this matter, a rather subtle smile appeared on Rudolf’s face. Seeming to be in a slightly better mood, she rubbed Tokai Teio’s hair, then asked softly:

“So, how does it feel training under Trainer Kitano, Teio?”

“It’s great! Trainer-san was really enthusiastic the first time he met me! And he takes such good care of me!”

At the mention of Kitano, Teio’s eyes also began to shine. The tail behind her could not help swaying, and she launched into an endless stream of praise for how well Kitano treated her:

“Trainer-san started teaching me how to race right away. He told me my ankles are really flexible, and that it’s a natural talent I was born with. Then he told me I need to build up my fundamentals properly and not rely too much on my talent. I listened, you know!”

“And Trainer-san often buys me honey special drinks. He actually knows what I like! And, and…”

Tokai Teio’s little mouth chattered on and on about how good Kitano was to her. Rudolf only listened quietly, but the smile at the corners of her lips kept growing, as though simply hearing these things was enough to soothe the regrets in her heart.

This… was enough. At the very least, this child Teio would not have to experience what she had: watching helplessly as the person she yearned for day and night had long since forgotten her. Teio would surely remain by the side of the person she could rely on… Surely.

“It’s just… A while ago, I saw Trainer-san sighing a little. Prez, do you think it’s because I’m not doing well enough?”

But just as Rudolf was thinking this, Tokai Teio’s words pulled her thoughts back. Almost immediately, after a brief pause, Rudolf’s mind seemed to recall something terrifying. Her expression instantly turned serious.

And before Rudolf even had time to ask Teio about Kitano’s recent physical condition, hurried footsteps suddenly sounded outside the student council office. The moment the door opened in response, Air Groove’s face appeared—the face of someone who had only joined the student council recently.

But… the moment Rudolf noticed the panic on Air Groove’s face, she seemed to faintly realize that something… had already begun.

“…Air Groove?”

“President… Trainer Kitano just collapsed.”

Air Groove’s words, dry and disbelieving, slowly fell in that moment. They shattered the final trace of hope in Rudolf’s heart, and after all these years, made her remember something that had not happened for so long she had unconsciously begun to overlook it… Kitano’s incurable illness.

And when illness once again took Kitano’s life hostage, forcing everyone to remember its existence… Rudolf did not know that everything was already far too late…

T/N: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE COULDNT GET ANOTHER TRAINEE IN TIME BECAUSE OF THE SHIPPING!!!!!!!!!!! SHIPPING KILLS?!!!!!!!!!!

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!