The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [31]

“SYMBOLI RUDOLF CROSSES THE FINISH LINE! UNBELIEVABLE! SYMBOLI RUDOLF HAS SWEPT THIS ERA CLEAN, CLAIMING VICTORY IN EVERY LEG OF THE CLASSIC TRIPLE CROWN!”

“THE SECOND UNDEFEATED TRIPLE CROWN UMAMUSUME AFTER MR. C.B. HAS BEEN BORN! AN UNDEFEATED TRIPLE CROWN, EIGHT RACES AND EIGHT WINS—THE ‘EMPEROR’ SYMBOLI RUDOLF, WHO NEEDS NO SUPPORT AND WHOM NO ONE COULD SUPPORT EVEN IF THEY TRIED! ONCE AGAIN, SHE DEFEATS EVERY OPPONENT BY A COMFORTABLE MARGIN OF ONE LENGTH! THIS IS THE AGE OF JAPAN’S UMAMUSUME! AN UNPRECEDENTED FRENZY, AND THE STRONGEST ERA YET!”

On the track, amid the commentator’s fervent cries and the crowd’s wild cheers, applause, and celebration, Symboli Rudolf crossed the finish line in her racing outfit without a word. Yet on the face of the Umamusume who had earned the title of “Emperor,” there was not the slightest trace of joy in victory.

All the other Umamusume saw was that she was smiling. But it was not a smile meant for this victory. It was more like the twisted expression of a carnivore that had spotted prey it could feast on—cruel, savage, and full of anticipation. Every Umamusume who had raced alongside Rudolf felt a chill run through her.

As expected… she was no “Emperor.” She was a “tyrant.” A tyrant of this era, one who made every Umamusume feel she was impossible to overcome, one who crushed every challenger with absolute strength.

And everyone knew exactly who this tyrant would challenge next. In all of Japan, there was only one Umamusume left who still stood above Symboli Rudolf, one who might still be able to fight this tyrant.

The first undefeated Triple Crown winner, Mr. C.B., and the Trainer who stood beside her—Ryuichi Kitano. Together, they were hailed as the “strongest partners” among Japan’s Umamusume.

Everyone understood that Rudolf would surely challenge this strongest pair. Everyone was waiting to see which side would prevail: whether the “Emperor,” by her strength alone and with the force to sweep away entire armies, would become Japan’s strongest, or whether that equally unstoppable pair, who had moved so many hearts, would defeat the tyrant. Undefeated Triple Crown against undefeated Triple Crown—the clash had become the peak battle all of Japan was waiting for.

Only, what no one expected—not even Rudolf herself—was that the long-awaited confrontation would be delayed for so long.

…

“Avoiding the race? And two races in a row?”

“You mean Mr. C.B. won’t be entering either the Japan Cup in November or the Arima Kinen in December?”

Immediately after completing her undefeated Triple Crown, Symboli Rudolf had gone to find Kitano and Mr. C.B. It was also the first time in over a year since enrolling at Tracen Academy that she had taken the initiative to seek out this childhood friend, who had long since died in her heart.

She had gone to declare war.

To the Rudolf of now, the Kitano before her—the one who had long since forgotten the memories of their past—and the “Kitano” from her childhood, the one she had trusted and who had supported her through countless hardships, were two completely different people. She had separated them long ago. But that did not stop her from still seeing Kitano as the driving force that pushed her forward.

In Rudolf’s heart, the Kitano of her childhood was a memory she could cling to for comfort in difficult times. The Kitano of now… was the motivation that drove her onward, toward becoming Japan’s strongest in the true form of an “Emperor.”

The deeper the love, the deeper the hatred. Rudolf had buried all of her love and turned revenge into her only source of motivation. Yesterday’s dear friend was today’s stepping stone. Rudolf would climb to her throne by treading over the “corpses” of Kitano and his undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume.

But Kitano’s answer made the aggressive Rudolf freeze. She had imagined several possible responses, given Kitano’s personality. Yet she had never imagined that this Kitano, who as a child had spoken of his grand ambitions and dragged his sickly body forward in pursuit of becoming a Central Trainer, would choose to shrink back at such a crucial moment.

“Didn’t you just win the Tenno Sho (Autumn)? Don’t you already have four G1 victories now? Why not press your advantage? Why not challenge the five-crown achievement that only Shinzan-senpai has ever reached?” Rudolf refused to give up. This was her chance to cut away the last of her weakness completely, to ascend as the “Emperor” and become Japan’s strongest. She did not want to abandon it. But in truth, deep down, she knew this reasoning was not enough.

What she wanted was still an answer… an answer she wanted to hear Kitano say himself. Otherwise, that weak point in her heart would remain.

And what Rudolf received next was the answer she believed she wanted—an answer that sent her plummeting to rock bottom.

“That’s exactly why I want C.B. to avoid them. Her previous race schedule was too intense. If she entered the Japan Cup and Arima Kinen after the Tenno Sho (Autumn), her average rest time would be less than a month. That kind of burden would be far too heavy for her.”

“What kind of reason is that? Ever since the race schedule was finalized, every Umamusume in Japan has raced like this!” Rudolf frowned, feeling as though she barely recognized the Kitano before her. How had the spirited boy in her memories become so cautious and timid?

In Rudolf’s era, Japan’s Umamusume had not yet caught up to the international level, and the field was still in its embryonic, exploratory stage. The URA, eager for quick results, paid little attention to the physical condition and maintenance of Umamusume. As a result, most Trainers arranged race schedules with one thing above all else in mind: density. They would not pass up any race that could be won. Cases where an Umamusume rested for only ten or twenty-odd days before returning to the track were everywhere.

For Japan’s Umamusume, this was normal. It had always been done this way. Even everyone in Rudolf’s own family had their schedules arranged like that. Yet now Kitano, who had Japan’s first undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume and could be said to bear the title of “Japan’s strongest,” seemed not to care about any of that at all.

“Just because it’s always been done that way, does that make it right? What I want is my trainee’s safety. I won’t let my trainee go into a race dragging along an exhausted body, and I certainly won’t let her risk danger just to fight for it.”

At the time, Kitano had looked straight into Rudolf’s eyes and, for the first time in his life, spoken to her with a severity that was almost a rebuke. Rudolf had been momentarily stunned by his scolding. After losing his temper for once because a matter of principle had been touched, Kitano’s tone returned to its usual gentleness, and he said softly:

“I’m sorry, Rudolf-san… I’m just a little too sensitive about these things.”

“Actually, I wanted to tell you this too. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard lately. You look like you’re under enormous mental pressure, and your body is exhausted too. You don’t need to keep forcing yourself like this.”

“All that talk the media spreads about you being an ‘Emperor who needs no support’—you don’t have to go along with them. Maybe you don’t need anyone to teach you how to race, but if it’s only a Trainer to arrange your schedule and condition your body, then I think I—”

“—I don’t need a Trainer. Goodbye, Trainer Kitano.”

…Excuses. Rudolf knew it. All of that talk about hard races, C.B. needing rest, and his trainee’s safety—every last bit of it was nothing more than an excuse. If Kitano had not forgotten the past, if his undefeated Triple Crown Umamusume had not been Mr. C.B. but her, Symboli Rudolf, then Kitano absolutely would not have had so many excuses. Because he would believe she could do it.

There was only one reason behind all of this: Mr. C.B. That was the only answer Rudolf could think of. The Umamusume who, at Tracen and even across all of Japan, was known as Kitano’s “match made in heaven.”

After the Kikuka Sho, Rudolf had also watched Mr. C.B.’s performance in the Tenno Sho (Autumn). She was certain that this senior’s true strength was not equal to hers. Although C.B. had broken the Tenno Sho (Autumn) record, there had been obvious issues with how she exerted herself during the race. That had never appeared in her previous race footage.

Then there was only one possibility. Mr. C.B.’s strength had already begun to decline, and Kitano knew it very well. That was why he had chosen to avoid the races.

He was protecting Mr. C.B.’s glory. Even if he was cursed as spineless or cowardly, he did not care. He was protecting the “myth” of the Umamusume he now loved most, keeping it from being shattered. He did not want to see his trainee trampled under Rudolf’s feet and turned into her stepping stone.

She knew… the person Kitano liked now was Mr. C.B. And Mr. C.B. liked Kitano too.

Forget Tracen Academy—even across all of Japan, this was an open secret. Everyone knew that although neither of them had pierced that final layer of paper, everyone understood without needing it said. They were only waiting for retirement. Once Mr. C.B. retired, there would surely be an answer between them. Everyone believed that.

A perfect pair who had saved each other. The best partners, each making up for what the other lacked…

…How infuriating.

What salvation? What perfection? They were nothing but baseless rumors. When several coincidences gathered together, people always liked to crown them with the name “fate.” But Rudolf did not believe in any of it.

She would defeat Mr. C.B. and shatter this so-called rumor.

Even without anyone’s support, with only the fire burning in her heart, she could run alone to the ends of the world.

She could do it… That was… how it should have been.

…

“SHE’S OVERTAKEN HER! MR. C.B.! AFTER MONTHS OF SILENCE, MR. C.B. MAKES A MIRACULOUS RETURN IN THE TENNO SHO (SPRING)! IN THIS DUEL BETWEEN UNDEFEATED TRIPLE CROWN WINNERS, MR. C.B. HAS DEFENDED HER TITLE AS JAPAN’S STRONGEST UMAMUSUME WITH HER OWN STRENGTH!”

“THE PAIR MADE FOR EACH OTHER HAS DEFEATED THE STRONGEST OPPONENT THEY HAVE EVER FACED! EVEN THE ‘EMPEROR’ SYMBOLI RUDOLF HAS REGRETFULLY FALLEN SHORT BY THE SMALLEST OF MARGINS AT THE VERY END. THIS IS THE MOST FLAWLESS PARTNERSHIP IN JAPANESE HISTORY!”

On the big screen, Symboli Rudolf stared blankly at the ranking that symbolized her defeat. Her second-place finish looked so glaring now that she could hardly accept it.

She… had lost?

When Rudolf ignored Kitano’s warning the previous year and forced herself to enter the Japan Cup, she had, in truth, already tasted defeat once. But the frustration brought by losing the Japan Cup was nothing compared to the defeat in this Tenno Sho (Spring), this long-awaited duel with Mr. C.B.

This defeat was impossible for Rudolf to accept. Clearly… Clearly, she was the one who should have won. Mr. C.B. had obviously burned through all her energy in the first three corners. Her final spurt had clearly grown much weaker because she was in poor condition.

Why? Why, at the very end, had Rudolf been overtaken by her? It was as if some force had pushed Mr. C.B. forward from behind.

What exactly was Rudolf lacking? She did not understand. She simply did not understand.

And while Rudolf stood there in a daze, even beginning to question herself, Mr. C.B., pale after finishing the race, seemed to notice someone arriving. Though she had been biting her lower lip and enduring the pain, joy immediately bloomed across her face, and she called out brightly:

“Trainer-san~”

The next moment, as Rudolf slowly turned her head with a full-body tremor, she saw Mr. C.B… raise one leg slightly, then hop step by step toward Kitano, who stood not far away.

Under Rudolf’s dazed gaze, C.B. and Kitano once again walked toward each other at the same time. And once again… under everyone’s eyes, they embraced.

Ah… So… that was how it was.

Only in that moment did Rudolf finally understand why she had lost to Mr. C.B., why C.B. had unleashed such astonishing strength at the very end, and what exactly the difference between herself and Mr. C.B. had been.

…The difference was only one person. A person who had once become the faith that kept her going. A man who now… no longer belonged to her.

Rudolf had once experienced that feeling. The feeling of being supported by him. The feeling that she absolutely could not betray his support. Once, it had helped Rudolf overcome every grueling hardship.

And now, she no longer had any of that. Never again… would she have it again.

Watching the two before her embrace and weep, on that gloomy track where the rain poured down, Rudolf once again shakily stretched out her hand. Toward Kitano’s figure, she clenched it tightly… but what she could grasp was only that trace of regret, and a love that had left her behind.

That day, the rain was heavy. It mercilessly soaked her face, until she could no longer tell whether what ran down it was rain or tears.

In the end, she still could not forget. She could not forget the boy who had left the only beam of light in her life. Yet now, it was that very boy who had mercilessly shone that light upon someone else, sending her back once more into that lonely darkness.

She knew he… would never belong to her again.

The eight-year-old Rudolf had been forever trapped in the childhood where she had still possessed that light, never to escape again.

T/N: OUGH

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!