The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [12]

Oguri Cap was a legendary figure even among Japan’s Umamusume. She belonged to an era that had briefly flourished before going into decline, and with her commoner origins, she delivered a much-needed boost to the slumping Japanese Umamusume world, leading an unprecedented Umamusume boom.

Perhaps it was because of the butterfly effect Kitano himself had caused, but the era of Oguri Cap he had lived through had been even more brutal than the history he remembered. Even Umamusume: Cinderella Gray, an official manga that had already strayed somewhat from the “pure and beautiful” image of Umamusume, seemed less intense than the loop he had spent with Oguri.

Although, for various reasons, Kitano had been unable to witness Oguri Cap’s complete life, one even more magnificent than history, his departure in that loop had been very peaceful and free of worry. That was because the loop with Oguri was one of the few times Kitano had managed to arrange everything before his time came.

As mentioned before, one issue Kitano had always worried about was whether the original world continued to operate after his death, or whether it vanished along with him. If it was the latter, that might be a little better. But if it was the former… Kitano was very worried that his death would place immense pressure on his trainee in each loop. Even though the first thing he did when recruiting them was explain his condition clearly, he still worried about those problems.

Especially since he understood the personalities of these Umamusume very well. Every single one of them was the sort to think boldly and act boldly. He also knew there were many things that, no matter how he tried to control them, could not keep feelings from growing over time. If someone could come to cherish a cat after keeping it company for three years, then how much more so a living, breathing person?

So all Kitano could do was plan for the worst and do everything he could to settle his affairs after death. And in Oguri Cap’s case, Kitano believed he had done a fairly good job.

When he left, Oguri Cap would be very sad, but her good friend Tamamo Cross would definitely help take care of her. While he was alive, he had helped Tamamo quite a bit. The two biggest reasons were to invite her onto the team, and to have her look after Oguri Cap after his death.

Although only the latter of those two requests had been fulfilled, Kitano felt that was already good enough.

Ah, and there was Folkqueen (Horlicks), too. That Umamusume from New Zealand was also the only existence in actual history who had made Oguri Cap stop eating just to pay attention. Kitano had done everything he could to make her stay in Japan as well, all so that after his death, he would not need to worry that Oguri would be lonely and do something irreparable and foolish.

Only… in this new loop, Oguri Cap should have developed according to actual history… so why did she feel even colder than the one in his memories?

Kitano blinked as well, his gaze on Oguri gaining a few shades of curiosity. As someone who had once served as Oguri Cap’s Trainer from the local circuit all the way to Central, he keenly sensed that something was off about the Oguri Cap of this new world.

“Honestly, Gold Ship, what did ya call me and Oguri over here for?”

Beside Oguri Cap, the short gray-haired Umamusume named Tamamo Cross finally could not hold back and spoke. Her eyes lingered on Kitano in his wheelchair for a little while longer, but for some reason, her brain sent her a signal like an electric shock, making her unconsciously take a step back.

This man… seemed to make her feel somewhat wary? But he looked so harmless and frail. Why would he give her this feeling of… palpitations? It was as though she was afraid of him.

Tamamo found it difficult to put her first impression of Kitano into words. Fortunately, at that moment, the carefree Gold Ship finally stated her purpose.

“Hehe, well, Kitano-chan said he didn’t have any appetite, right? So I thought, if it’s Tracen Academy’s biggest eater, she’d definitely be able to make Kitano-chan hungry!”

“There’s a lot of stuff like that online, isn’t there? Like eating streams and stuff? Oguri Cap can definitely do it better than them, right?”

“…If it is eating, I can do that.”

However, after hearing Gold Ship’s words, Oguri, who had kept an indifferent expression the entire time, finally spoke slowly. Her tone held even less emotion than the Oguri Cap in Kitano’s memories. It could no longer be described as merely calm and unruffled, and it made Kitano sense all the more how different this Oguri Cap was.

Yet what puzzled Kitano even more now was Tamamo’s reaction beside her. This Umamusume, who in his memories had been Oguri Cap’s best friend and rival, knew better than anyone about Oguri Cap’s bottomless appetite, yet she actually showed a hint of worry as she looked at the expressionless Oguri.

“Oguri… if ya really wanna do it, I’ll be watchin’ from the side.”

“Mm.”

Oguri Cap said nothing more. She merely nodded, then sat down at the table. Looking at the table packed full of food, there was still not a trace of excitement in her eyes. She simply brought her hands together calmly and said softly,

“Then, I will eat.”

With that, Oguri immediately picked up her chopsticks and began silently clearing the plate of food in front of her. Fast and soundless, yet not unpleasant to watch—that was Oguri Cap’s signature way of eating.

Kitano watched Oguri, now wholly focused on eating, and for an instant, he felt he might have been overthinking things. Perhaps Oguri Cap was simply in a bad mood today? Could another new buffet over in the shopping district have blacklisted her? Was that why her spirits were low?

However, as time passed, Kitano once again became certain that his intuition was not wrong. The Oguri Cap of this timeline… definitely had a problem.

As Oguri Cap’s Trainer for several years, and someone who had also taken on the role of caring for her like a parent cared for their own child, Kitano immediately caught the look in Oguri’s eyes. There was not even the slightest trace of the happiness she would show in his memories when she ate delicious food—the satisfaction she could not hide, her eyes shining, her horse ears trembling nonstop.

The expression on the current Oguri Cap’s face… was just like his own. She was eating purely to take in nutrients. She did not feel that the delicious food in front of her was particularly important, nor did she feel that this sense of fullness was especially precious and hard-won for someone born into a commoner family, who nevertheless had an enormous appetite and had even developed a sense of crisis because of it.

Those were the things that surprised Kitano, the things he felt were wrong. Oguri Cap… the Oguri Cap who seemed never to have eaten her fill, who could even eat a handful of grass roots, who had a powerful physiological instinct toward eating, was actually showing no enthusiasm for it?

“—Please give me another serving.”

When Oguri finally swept away the last plate of food on the table, everyone at last heard the burp from Oguri Cap that symbolized fullness and thought she was about to stop. Unexpectedly, however, after lifting her head, Oguri chose to continue without hesitation.

“Okaay~” Gold Ship, however, did not think too much about it at all. Most likely, Oguri Cap’s usual bottomless appetite had left too deep an impression, so no matter how much Oguri had eaten, as long as she said, “Another serving,” no one would doubt she could finish it.

But just as Gold Ship reached out, intending to take the empty plate from Oguri Cap’s hands, two different hands suddenly pressed down almost simultaneously on Gold Ship’s and Oguri’s wrists, stopping them both.

“Don’t force yourself, Oguri!”

“Golshi-chan, don’t get her any more food.”

Kitano’s and Tamamo’s voices overlapped almost perfectly in that instant. In the next moment, the eyes of these two people who were both unable to stop worrying about Oguri Cap also collided in midair. They both saw surprise in each other’s eyes, surprised that the other had reacted the exact same way.

Because they each believed themselves to be the person here who understood Oguri Cap best. They both knew far too clearly where Oguri Cap’s limits lay.

“Oguri! Ya clearly ate a meal just an hour ago! Why’re ya still trying to keep going when ya obviously can’t eat anymore? What the hell are ya thinking?!”

“Are ya gonna keep eating till you get a stomach perforation?! If I wasn’t always watchin’ whenever I saw ya, why do ya keep trying to abuse yourself like this?!”

“…I’m sorry, Tama.”

After being scolded so harshly by Tamamo Cross, Oguri Cap finally showed a little guilt. She obediently lowered her head and apologized, her horse ears drooping in dejection as she bit her lip lightly and said,

“But… I really still feel hungry. No matter how much I eat, my stomach feels empty.”

“…What exactly is going on?” Hearing that, Kitano felt he could no longer stand by and watch. The changes in this world’s Oguri Cap were far too great. They had completely exceeded the scope of what Kitano could understand.

Especially since this seemed to be related to Oguri Cap’s physical and mental health. His concern threw him into confusion, and Kitano instantly tossed everything about absolutely not going soft in this loop to the back of his mind. He turned his gaze toward Tamamo Cross, hoping that this best friend of Oguri Cap’s, no matter when or where, could give him an answer.

“Is Oguri Cap sick?”

“If ya call it being sick… well, I don’t really understand it either.” Seeing that Kitano could not hide the worry on his face, Tamamo, although she had felt palpitations from him at first, still subconsciously chose to trust him and answered in distress. “Oguri’s been like this ever since I met her. Her appetite’s huge, like a bottomless pit. But I know Oguri’s stomach ain’t actually bottomless. And yet every time, even when she’s stuffed, she still insists on shoving food into her mouth.”

“Honestly, if I didn’t get worried and keep an eye on her every time I saw it, she might’ve eaten herself to death one day long ago!”

“I have heard about it.” At that moment, Mr. C.B., as their senior, clearly knew more about what had happened before than Kitano and the others, who did not understand the situation. She explained to Kitano, “Oguri Cap seems to have always been troubled by an intense sense of hunger. At first, Rudolf thought Oguri Cap might have some physical illness and even took her to the hospital for a checkup.”

“But later, the doctor said there was nothing wrong with Oguri Cap’s physical condition. Her stomach does indeed have stronger digestive ability than most people’s… but her hunger should not be caused by her organs. It is psychological.”

“Psychological?” Kitano immediately grasped the key point. However, this was something Kitano and Oguri Cap had encountered in that loop as well. He knew that because Oguri Cap was born into a commoner family, her appetite had always been a huge expense for her household. Although her mother had always tried her best to satisfy Oguri Cap’s appetite, it had still been difficult to meet Oguri Cap’s needs.

This had caused Oguri Cap to have an extreme crisis response toward hunger, even rising to the level of a “survival instinct.” And Kitano had also spent three years making sure Oguri Cap ate her fill at every meal before he finally resolved this psychological crisis of hers.

But… why had this loop’s Oguri Cap not resolved that condition, but instead allowed it to grow worse?

Could it be… that her Trainer in this loop had always been controlling Oguri Cap’s food intake? Keeping her needs from being met?

As soon as he thought of this, even the good-tempered Kitano very rarely furrowed his brow slightly. An unnamed anger surged up from his chest, but before it could rise to his head, he felt a powerful wave of dizziness and immediately began coughing violently.

“Trainer Kitano?!”

Kitano’s reaction startled C.B. and the others, who knew his health was poor. Fortunately, Nakayama Festa was quick-eyed and quick-handed. She immediately grabbed a cup of water and skillfully began feeding it to the coughing Kitano, whose head was lowered. Gold Ship and C.B. also patted Kitano’s back at once, helping his breathing gradually return to normal.

Kitano’s coughing fit drew almost everyone’s attention. Yet no one noticed that, although Tamamo had not had time to move, she had been watching Kitano with worry all along—and that Oguri Cap, whose expression had always been indifferent, had her pupils contract the instant Kitano coughed and unconsciously made a small movement as if she wanted to step forward.

At that moment, Oguri Cap felt as though her heart had been pricked by a needle. That sense of crisis… was almost on par with the hunger that had always tormented her.

But why was she so nervous? Because the person before her… seemed to be in an even worse state than she was?

No, it was not only that. This person, on him… perhaps there was something she had always been searching for.

“…I don’t know why either, but I have dreamed of a certain flavor.”

Just as Kitano had only barely stopped coughing and was preparing to ask about the specific details of Oguri Cap’s life over these years, Oguri abruptly broke the silence without warning. The gray-haired Umamusume stared intently at Kitano and, word by word, told her secret to this person she believed she could trust.

“Although it is strange, and I have no way to describe it… it is a very gentle flavor. As long as I have tasted it once, I will never forget it.”

“I have always been searching for where that flavor came from, but even now, I have not found it. No matter how many delicacies I eat, no matter how full I make myself, I still have not found the flavor I want to eat.”

“Whenever I remember it… I feel empty. So I can only keep eating and keep eating, until I am so full that I have no room left to think about anything else…”

At this point, guilt and apology appeared on Oguri Cap’s face as well. She gave Kitano and the others a slight bow and said softly, “I’m sorry. I caused trouble for everyone… and said something strange.”

“—Oguri Cap, you’re saying you’ve been searching for a flavor all this time, right?”

However, just as Oguri was about to leave, Kitano suddenly spoke and interrupted her movement. When Oguri Cap turned her head and everyone’s gazes focused on Kitano once again, Kitano took a deep breath. As if he had guessed something, he once again showed a gentle smile and said, “Although I’m not completely certain, I think… I may be able to help with that.”

T/N: i think not being able to taste stuff is fucking awful, i am a major believer in that food is a major part of life, enjoying food that is

like imagine not being able to taste them…

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!