The Trainer With Little Time Left Just Wants to Live [3]

The first time Kitano met Mr. C.B. had been a very long time ago.

At the time, Kitano had just come off his failed first loop, where a lack of information had led him to “study until he died.” Even after being reborn, he still could not think of any good way to enter Tracen Academy. All he could do was watch helplessly as his failed physical exam meant that no matter how many times he was reborn, he might never be able to enter the Tracen Academy he longed for.

It was then that Kitano met his first Umamusume after crossing over—or rather, the first Umamusume to extend a helping hand to him when he was helpless.

“Why are you wandering around outside the school gate? If you’re worried, why not come with me?”

Back then, Kitano had not yet reached the point where he needed a wheelchair to get around. At the time, he had been holding several résumés rejected by Central Tracen Academy, along with notices informing him he had not been accepted. He had been wandering before Tracen Academy’s gates at a complete loss, on the verge of giving up entirely, when Mr. C.B. helped him break the deadlock.

What made Kitano find it even more unbelievable at the time was that Mr. C.B. not only helped a complete stranger and encouraged him to go to Tracen Academy to submit his application to the chairwoman, but afterward, in front of the chairwoman and the then-student council president, Shinzan, she abruptly chose Kitano as her Trainer.

And at the time, Mr. C.B. was nothing more than an Umamusume who had only recently won her debut race. Even if her very existence was surrounded by controversy within Tracen Academy, and even throughout Japan’s Umamusume world at the time, her performance had already proven that she had a bright future ahead of her. She was an Umamusume with tremendous potential.

But she did not choose any famous Trainer. She did not even choose a proper Trainer. The person she chose was someone who had been lingering outside Tracen Academy’s gates, heartsick, severely ill, and, only ten minutes earlier, looking like a poor little homeless puppy. She chose him as her one and only Trainer.

That decision shocked not only the chairwoman and Shinzan at the time, but even Kitano himself. He could not understand why Mr. C.B. had chosen him.

More than once, Kitano had treated his encounter with Mr. C.B. as a behind-the-scenes arrangement by the “Three Goddesses” who had brought him to this world. In the end, however, Kitano still felt that reasoning did not hold up. After all, if the Three Goddesses intended to give him, a transmigrator, special treatment, why had they not done so in his first loop?

In the end, that question lingered in Kitano’s heart until one day, when he finally learned the truth from Mr. C.B.

“…Maybe because I felt that my Trainer back then was the same as me. We were both ‘children born carrying sin,’ weren’t we?”

“You know, don’t you, Trainer-san? Back when I was born, my parents were under immense pressure the whole time… So before my debut, not a single Trainer was willing to accept me.”

“And after my debut… the Trainers who came because they finally saw my talent—I could never accept people like that as my Trainer.”

“I am the freest wind, Trainer-san. At this point, only you, who are the same as me, can become the one person who drives me.”

“—Of course, it’s also possible that Trainer and I knew each other even earlier than we thought.”

The one who drove the freest wind?

Kitano had not forgotten the name—or rather, the expectation—Mr. C.B. had given him back then. After all, even now, Kitano had never felt that he had truly driven Mr. C.B. Especially not back then, when he had not possessed the same determination he had now to survive at all costs.

It sounded a little ridiculous, but even though Kitano had been just as terminally ill at the time, he had thought like some people who wanted to play God the moment they crossed over, hoping to use his advantages to change certain people’s fates.

But in the end, Kitano discovered that while it was easy to say, when the time came to actually do it, he simply could not.

After spending several years together with Mr. C.B., after essentially tying his own fate to hers, Kitano understood her personality far too well. Just as Mr. C.B. herself had said, she was the freest wind, an Umamusume who would run as she pleased even through raging storms. No one could restrain Mr. C.B., and no one could make decisions for her.

Mr. C.B. loved challenges. The harsher the challenge, the more it could ignite her fighting spirit. Of course, all of that was Mr. C.B.’s own assessment of herself, but after spending so much time with her, Kitano had come to a different realization.

Kitano was willing to believe that Mr. C.B. liked challenges. But when she stepped onto the cruelest racetracks despite being in poor condition, despite the dangers of exhaustion and old injuries flaring up, that self-destructive behavior had nothing to do with challenge.

Kitano had always felt that Mr. C.B.’s desperation did not look like she was “challenging” anything. It looked more like she was trying to “prove” something.

Mr. C.B.’s parents had eloped. Kitano knew that very well. And before Mr. C.B.’s mother eloped with her own Trainer, she had been one of the brightest Umamusume of her generation. That was why Mr. C.B.’s birth had been criticized from the very beginning, and why she called herself “born carrying sin.”

What she wanted to prove was simply that her birth, and her parents’ choice, were not sins. Though Mr. C.B. never spoke of any of this, and was even deeply moved by and proud of her parents’ story, Kitano still felt that deep down, she cared immensely about those criticisms. That was why she pushed herself to prove it with everything she had.

…Then what reason did he have to stop Mr. C.B.?

If Kitano failed, he could start over and choose again. But what choices did Mr. C.B. have? She only had one chance at life. One chance… to prove herself.

Kitano did not try to restrain that freest wind. Instead, he did everything he could to let her howl and gallop even more freely. That was why Kitano never felt that he had truly driven Mr. C.B. If anything, Mr. C.B. had taught him a great deal.

It could be said that if Mr. C.B. had not extended a hand to him, Kitano might have recognized reality long ago and given up on the path of becoming a Trainer after crossing over.

And Kitano… had always felt that everything he did for Mr. C.B. had never come close to repaying her for saving him.

Her injuries, her fate, the criticism she faced… Kitano had not been able to change any of it with his own power. There was far too little he could do for her.

She had saved him when he was lost and despondent, but he had failed to rescue her from that endless need to “prove” herself.

Now, meeting Mr. C.B. again without warning, even knowing full well that she knew nothing of their past together, Kitano still could not hide the turmoil in his heart. Even his eyes, usually dulled by severe illness, seemed to glimmer faintly.

And while Kitano was studying Mr. C.B., Mr. C.B. was also watching him. The Triple Crown Umamusume, now long since successful and with no need to prove anything, stared curiously at Kitano, who sat sickly in his wheelchair, yet whose expression did not look like that of a patient at all.

“Is this child your trainee?” Mr. C.B. asked Kitano on impulse. But before Kitano could answer, Nakayama Festa circled around from behind him to stand in front, blocking Mr. C.B. as she warned her tersely:

“He’s my Trainer. He’s in poor health. Don’t scare him.”

“…You have a Trainer you trust very much, don’t you?”

However, while Mr. C.B.’s words seemed to be directed at Nakayama Festa, she had actually been using her much taller figure to let her curious gaze drift, intentionally or otherwise, toward Kitano the whole time. Before long, she once again showed the spring-breeze smile Kitano knew so well and said:

“You must be Nakayama Festa and Trainer Ryuichi Kitano, the ones Rudolf mentioned, right? I’ve heard about you. I didn’t expect you really would be just as Stay Gold said.”

“Though today is the first time we’ve met, I can feel that the two of you truly are very compatible. I have a feeling you’ll accomplish something impressive in the future.”

“When someone praises us like that the first time we meet, it always makes me wonder if you say that to everyone.”

Nakayama Festa clearly did not appreciate it. Or rather, perhaps she had sensed Mr. C.B.’s interest in Kitano. Festa’s instincts had always been sharp, and she keenly caught that the look Mr. C.B. gave Kitano was different from other people’s.

There had been people interested in Kitano before. Nakayama Festa knew that. But most of those gazes were pity after the initial surprise at Kitano’s condition. The reason Nakayama Festa and everyone in the Gold Family had been able to keep Kitano around was that every one of them knew about his illness, but none of them treated him like a patient in daily life.

But Mr. C.B.’s eyes just now were different… Nakayama Festa found it hard to describe how Mr. C.B. had looked in that instant, but she knew that feeling, like someone had set their sights on her treasure, made her very unhappy.

And in fact, Nakayama Festa’s guess was correct. The moment Mr. C.B. met Kitano’s eyes, he had indeed seized her attention. It was because Mr. C.B. felt that Kitano’s eyes did not contain the despondence and dimness of someone gravely ill. Instead, they were full of fighting spirit and hope for life.

That composure of his, facing things calmly even when cornered by despair… was very special.

Perhaps Rudolf would be very interested in this unusual Trainer too, Mr. C.B. thought. She was already eager to introduce Kitano to their President properly.

“Then let’s go—Oh, right. Rudolf may come by in a while, so be careful when the time comes. She’s someone who doesn’t tolerate even the slightest breach of principle. This time, Stay Gold took the initiative to bring you into Tracen, Trainer Kitano, and Rudolf has quite a few opinions about that.”

Rudolf, huh… Hearing that familiar name once more, Kitano fell silent for a moment before letting out a long sigh, still filled with emotion toward this Umamusume he had known for so long.

…Should he say it was a good thing that some things were known only to him now? Otherwise, that emperor whom he had once “neglected” would probably never forgive him.

T/N: see im confused, since mr cb is a triple crown winner, did she not win during his lifespan time? or was it because he did not have a proper trainer license????? ugh im prob missing stuff, sorry im playing godfield while tling, so im putting shit down then looking off to the side and forgetting the past 5 mins, can someoneeee inform this pitiful soul 🙁

my guess is because he didnt have a proper trainer license right? so even if they called him their trainer by definition he wasnt, so even though they won he didnt get anything

This is a fan translation of 时日无多的训练员只想活下去 by 许氏子谦 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!