After a few reluctant bites of the three dishes and one soup before him, Luo Qing set his chopsticks down with a solemn expression.
It wasn’t that Hu Tao’s cooking lacked effort—it was just… utterly bizarre.
If Zhongli doesn’t come back soon, does she seriously expect me to finish all of this on my own?
“Go on, eat up, Luo Qing! Zhongli isn’t here today, so I made all this especially for you~!”
Hu Tao leaned in closer, her twin braids bouncing with each movement. With her playful energy and bright smile, she looked every bit the lively young girl she was.
“Uh… about that…”
Luo Qing sighed and stared at the food. Even with his godlike constitution, this meal felt like a gamble.
Just as he was debating his next move, footsteps echoed from the front courtyard.
Thanks to his sharp ears, Luo Qing instantly recognized the steady, deliberate pace.
Zhongli’s back.
“Hu Tao, Zhongli’s here! I’ll go get him!”
Before Hu Tao could respond, Luo Qing put down his chopsticks and dashed out of the room.
Misery loves company, after all. Zhongli shouldn’t be exempt from this culinary experience!
Racing to the front courtyard, Luo Qing spotted Zhongli standing near the counter.
The former Geo Archon was dressed in his usual earthy-toned attire, his left hand holding a fishing rod and his right carrying a bucket filled with fish.
“…”
The sight left Luo Qing momentarily speechless.
Has Zhongli become a fisherman now?
“Luo Qing?”
Zhongli’s calm expression didn’t waver as he noticed the unexpected visitor.
“It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, it’s been over a year, hasn’t it?”
Luo Qing walked up to him, giving him a once-over.
“Did you go fishing on your own?”
“Indeed. Hu Tao mentioned she was experimenting with new recipes, so I thought it prudent to bring back some fresh ingredients from the southern harbor. The fish have been particularly abundant lately.”
Zhongli placed the bucket down, revealing several large fish that must have weighed a good few dozen pounds.
Plenty for Hu Tao to work her… magic on.
“Perfect timing.”
A mischievous glint flashed in Luo Qing’s eyes.
Now that he’d survived Hu Tao’s cooking, it was only fair that Zhongli should share in the experience.
“Hu Tao’s already finished cooking. Come on, let’s go!”
Mimicking Hu Tao’s earlier enthusiasm, Luo Qing grabbed Zhongli’s arm and dragged him toward the backyard kitchen, determined not to let him escape.
By the time Hu Tao realized what was happening, another victim—Zhongli—was already seated at the table.
“Ah, Zhongli! You’re just in time!” Hu Tao handed him a pair of chopsticks with a grin.
“Try my newest creations! If you like them, I’ll add them to our regular menu!”
“…”
Zhongli’s gaze swept over the table. Three dishes and one soup. The same setup that had perplexed Luo Qing earlier.
“This soup… why is it purple and thick?” Zhongli asked, his voice calm yet tinged with genuine curiosity.
“It’s made with imported sunsettias from Mondstadt! You know, purple soup should be extra appetizing, right?”
Hu Tao tilted her head, looking genuinely puzzled as to why everyone seemed to find this strange.
“…”
After a moment of quiet reflection, Zhongli turned to Luo Qing, who was barely holding back laughter. Then he glanced at Hu Tao, her innocent determination on full display.
Silently, Zhongli steeled himself and picked up his chopsticks.
—
Thirty minutes later.
The table was cleared, the three dishes and one soup finally consumed.
Luo Qing and Zhongli exchanged weary glances, their faces betraying the ordeal they had just endured.
Not only had they been subjected to Hu Tao’s experimental cuisine, but she had also insisted on receiving detailed feedback after every bite.
It had been an agonizing balancing act: criticizing the food risked upsetting Hu Tao, while praising it felt like an outright betrayal of their taste buds.
“Hu Tao, would you mind if I borrowed Zhongli for a bit? I need to discuss something with him.”
Luo Qing seized the opportunity to escape.
“Sure, I don’t mind. What about you, Zhongli?”
Hu Tao turned to Zhongli, who merely nodded in agreement, his usual composure intact.
“Great! You two can chat in the front courtyard while I tweak these recipes.”
“Thanks, Hu Tao. Wishing you all the best in your culinary endeavors!” Luo Qing said, not wasting a second as he pulled Zhongli out of the room.
Note to self: never visit Wangsheng Funeral Parlor around mealtimes again.
In the front courtyard, Luo Qing and Zhongli stood on the platform overlooking the bustling Liyue Harbor below.
“You’ve really gotten into fishing, haven’t you?” Luo Qing remarked, breaking the silence with a chuckle as he patted Zhongli’s shoulder.
But Zhongli held up a finger, signaling for him to wait.
Puzzled, Luo Qing watched as Zhongli opened his mouth and carefully extracted a long, dark brown strand of hair.
“…”
“Is that…?” Luo Qing asked, already dreading the answer.
“It’s Hu Tao’s.”
“…”
“Why didn’t you take it out earlier?”
“I didn’t want to dampen her spirits and discourage her enthusiasm for cooking.”
“…”
“You’re something else, Zhongli…”
“Wait. There’s another one.”
“…”
A few moments later, Zhongli retrieved a second long hair, both strands clearly from Hu Tao’s twin braids.
“…”
Luo Qing stared at him, torn between laughter and admiration.
True dedication. He really is the patient father figure of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
“All right. Now, what did you want to discuss?” Zhongli asked, disposing of the offending hairs as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, every bit the composed sage.
Not that anyone could guess he had just eaten two of Hu Tao’s hairs along with her cooking.
“Oh, about that…”
Luo Qing paused, gathering his thoughts before speaking.
“I happened to be passing through Liyue and thought I’d drop by to catch up with you, old man. Also…” He hesitated briefly.
“What do you think of Ganyu?”
“Ganyu?” Zhongli turned slightly to study Luo Qing, his expression unreadable.
“I’ve already fulfilled my promise to you. I delivered the truth to her in a dream, as we agreed.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Luo Qing waved his hand dismissively.
“I’m saying… hypothetically, if she were to get married one day, what would you think of that?”
“Marriage?” Zhongli blinked, his composure faltering for the first time.
Why is Luo Qing suddenly bringing up Ganyu’s marriage?
“Who would the potential suitor be?”
“That’s right,” Luo Qing replied, smirking confidently.
“It’s me.”
“…”
—
This is a fan translation of 原神：这个见习执行官太屑了 by 何一乐. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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