“Hm… Jax, the way you talk about fate—it has such a natural, comforting vibe,” Lumine said thoughtfully.
Paimon floated up beside her. “Mr. Jax may love fighting, but sometimes he comes out with these deep, philosophical lines…”
“Shh! Forget fate for now—it’s time to eavesdrop on the Forest Ice and Fire Brothers!” Jia Changjiang cupped his hand behind his ear, focusing intently on the conversation happening at the tavern’s outdoor table where Kaeya and Diluc sat.
“‘Forest Ice and Fire Brothers’? Pfft…” Lumine couldn’t help but laugh at Jia Changjiang’s description.
She didn’t understand the reference but admitted it felt oddly fitting.
—
“Ahh, nothing beats the atmosphere of a tavern for enjoying a good drink,” Kaeya said with a satisfied sigh after taking a hearty swig.
Diluc, meanwhile, sipped non-alcoholic grape juice with his usual stoic expression. “You look perfectly content drinking alone,” he remarked dryly.
“Don’t be so heartless! I’ve finally carved out some time to relax after surviving Jia Changjiang’s relentless training. This is just a normal way to unwind!” Kaeya quipped, raising his glass for another sip.
Diluc’s expression twisted into one of mild disgust. With his arms crossed, he glared at Kaeya. “Just don’t get drunk here. The tavern doesn’t babysit drunkards.”
“Oh? If I get drunk, will I get sold to the scrapyard?” Kaeya teased, smirking.
“The scrapyard wouldn’t take you—especially not if you’re a drunken cavalry captain,” Diluc shot back. “And why ‘sold’? What nonsense is that?”
“Well, you’ve sold plenty of things before,” Kaeya countered smoothly. “Didn’t you sell Father’s old estate? What about that fancy vase? Did you sell that too?”
“Hmph. Useless items serve no purpose,” Diluc retorted, his voice clipped. “As for the vase… I don’t recall.”
“Actually, there is a rather fancy vase in Master Diluc’s manor,” someone nearby chimed in casually.
“I said, I don’t recall,” Diluc repeated firmly, cutting the conversation short.
“The vase in Diluc’s manor—could that be the one that looks really out of place?” Paimon whispered, intrigued.
“That vase? It’s a gift from Kaeya to Diluc,” Venti said with a sly grin.
“Wait—how do you know that?” Lumine turned to Venti, surprised.
At the tavern table, Diluc suddenly frowned, his gaze sweeping toward the wall. “You’ve been listening for quite a while now. Aren’t you going to come out?”
Diluc’s sharp eyes had noticed the telltale signs: a tuft of black hair, a hint of blonde, a small white floating figure with a peculiar crown, and a green hat.
He sighed. Just from those features alone, he could guess exactly who was hiding there.
“Ehe~ We’ve been caught!” Lumine stepped out sheepishly.
“Why are you copying the bard’s catchphrase?” Paimon scolded, floating beside her.
“Because it works!” Lumine retorted unapologetically, striding confidently to the table and sitting down.
“Haha! So it’s you all. What brings this peculiar group to our table? Surely you’re not here on official business—there’s no new commission from me,” Kaeya greeted them, clearly entertained by their appearance.
“We’re here for something interesting,” Jia Changjiang said, pulling up a chair. “Imaginary friends. Ever heard of them?”
Jia Changjiang quickly explained the concept of imaginary friends and the monocle that allowed people to see them. After some curious glances, everyone at the table gave their consent to the experiment.
Lumine donned the monocle and scanned the area.
But no matter where she looked, not a single imaginary friend appeared.
“Imaginary friends… a waste of time. Even fifteen years ago, I wouldn’t have had one,” Diluc said coldly, his eyes briefly flickering to Kaeya before he let out a derisive snort.
Kaeya chimed in, his tone light and teasing. “Imaginary friends? Not my thing. I’ve always been a pragmatic sort of person.”
“Wait… do all adults lose their imaginary friends as they grow up?” Paimon asked, her voice tinged with concern. “Does this mean growing up means losing your dreams too? If so… I don’t want to grow up!”
Kaeya laughed at Paimon’s dramatic proclamation. “Little Paimon, it’s far too early for you to worry about such things.”
“Don’t worry, Paimon! Look on the bright side!” Lumine encouraged her. “Even among adults, there are exceptions—like Jia Changjiang! He still has an imaginary friend!”
“Oh? Jia Changjiang?” Kaeya asked, intrigued. “What’s his imaginary friend like?”
Before Jia Changjiang could protest, Paimon puffed up with confidence and blurted, “I know! Mr. Jax’s imaginary friend is a sailor-uniformed magical girl! Oh, and there’s also a magical warrior and someone named Tiga the Giant!”
“WHAT?!” Jia Changjiang leapt to his feet, trying desperately to stop her. “I don’t even know what my imaginary friend looks like! And I swear they’re not just little girls! There are others—let me explain!”
But the damage was done. As Paimon spilled the details, Diluc and Kaeya’s expressions shifted from curiosity to barely concealed amusement.
“Ah, fascinating,” Kaeya said with a sly smile. “I can see why this topic is so captivating.”
Jia Changjiang could only groan as he realized he’d reached peak social embarrassment.
Kaeya, still smirking, remarked, “Well, I guess I never had an imaginary friend because I had real companions growing up.”
“Oh? Kaeya, you had playmates? Who were they?” Lumine asked, her curiosity piqued.
Kaeya smiled but didn’t answer, his silence laden with unspoken memories.
Diluc, arms crossed and expression stern, remained equally silent.
“How long do imaginary friends last, anyway?” Paimon wondered aloud. “I want to know… but I’m also a little scared of the answer.”
“Well then,” Lumine said with renewed energy, “let’s investigate! How about we check the training grounds next? I bet Eileen and Razor are practicing there right now!”
“Good idea!” Paimon cheered.
But before they could leave, Lumine noticed Venti and Jia Changjiang sitting at a nearby table with drinks in hand, clearly intending to laze about.
“Come on, you two!” Lumine grabbed their arms, dragging them along.
Venti protested, “Wait, wait! At least let me take my bottle with me!”
—
This is a fan translation of 武器大师在原神绝不死于徒手 by 徐人双 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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