The “standard” Kitahara was talking about was a battlefield standard.
And in real combat, there’s only one yardstick for victory from start to finish: take away the other side’s ability to act—by any means necessary.
As things stood, even with Sirius in protective gear, if the weapon in Kitahara’s hands had been a real blade, and he’d followed through from that angle…
Sirius would be a headless rider right now.
As for Sirius, she’d never been in a fight where her life was on the line—but with a wooden sword laid across her throat, she didn’t have any petty pride about it. She admitted defeat cleanly.
“Then you win this round.”
But even as she conceded, it wasn’t long before she spoke again, insisting on another match.
Kitahara didn’t refuse.
He could tell she’d held back earlier because he was human. If it ended here, she’d never swallow it.
“Alright. One more.”
He drew the wooden sword away from her neck, took a small step back, and settled into a ready stance again.
This time, learning from the last exchange, Sirius stopped treating Kitahara as “just a human.” Her expression sharpened. She was going to take him as seriously as she took Rudolf—and then—
Click.
Five seconds later, Kitahara had one foot planted on the back of Sirius’s sword, and the tip of his own wooden blade rested along a line where, with the slightest push, it could slip through a gap in her gear and drive straight into her eye socket.
“…Again.”
Sirius raised her sword, refusing to believe it. And with two losses behind her, she abandoned defense entirely and went on the offensive—
Thud—
Three seconds later, Sirius hit the floor. The instant she landed, Kitahara’s wooden sword stabbed down, skimming her face guard and planting into the dojo floor with a crisp knock.
“Still want to go again?”
This time, before Sirius could answer, Rudolf—who’d been watching from the side—spoke up.
“Trainer Kitahara. If you don’t mind… could you spar with me?”
Tapping her wooden sword lightly, Rudolf spoke in an even voice.
Maybe it was the frustration of three straight losses. Maybe Sirius simply wanted to see Rudolf embarrass herself. Either way, Sirius didn’t argue this time. She let Kitahara go without protest.
What neither of them expected was that once Rudolf decided to face Kitahara, she removed her protective gear entirely before the match.
Wearing only her loose uniform, she raised her wooden sword toward him.
It wasn’t that Rudolf enjoyed getting hit.
From what she’d observed, a large part of why Sirius had fallen so easily was that the protective gear slowed her movements.
Especially the face guard. It protected vital areas and prevented accidents, yes—but the inconvenience and restricted field of view also gave Kitahara a clean opening to exploit.
Watching Rudolf take off her gear, Kitahara felt a headache coming on—mostly because it meant he’d have to be extra careful not to tag her in the face—but he didn’t object. He simply set his stance.
And just as Rudolf had predicted, without the gear, her speed and reactions jumped noticeably. She held out far longer than Sirius—ten-plus full seconds—before Kitahara struck her hand and knocked her weapon to the floor.
After that, Rudolf challenged him two more times. Unfortunately, aside from the first, the other two attempts—though better than Sirius—didn’t even match how long she’d lasted the first time.
“Trainer Kitahara… you’re strong.”
By rights, after being beaten this many times, Rudolf should have been at least a little annoyed.
Strangely, the more she lost, the better her mood seemed to get. Kitahara even caught a kind of inexplicable light in her eyes when she looked at him.
Why does this feel… wrong?
But before he could think it through, Sirius—having watched the whole thing—stepped forward again and insisted on a few more rounds.
Kitahara usually sparred with an older Umamusume and Eclipse. The former constantly bullied him with sheer Umamusume physicality layered over sword skill, and the latter was a pure stat monster—he couldn’t break her defense even if she stood still and let him hit her.
He’d basically never gotten to train with anyone “normal.”
So when this rare chance at safe practice against relative beginners—at least, by his standards—presented itself, he thought for a moment… and didn’t refuse.
And so, as night deepened and the moon rose, the dojo in the Symboli main house rang with crack-crack impacts well into midnight, mixed with the harsh rasp of heavy breathing.
After who knew how long, the clashing finally stopped.
Rudolf and Sirius were both sprawled on the floor—and, unusually, lying there together in an almost harmonious truce, staring at the man still standing in the distance, their chests rising and falling.
Near the end, once they realized Kitahara really was strong—and that he was even improving at a visible pace as he fought them—Rudolf and Sirius thought it over… and decided to team up.
Two Umamusume—two very capable Umamusume—ganging up on a human wasn’t exactly glorious.
But after losing all night, they wanted at least one win.
Unfortunately, even then, they didn’t get what they wanted. In the end, Kitahara broke them both—one against two.
As for Kitahara, after defeating their combined assault, he didn’t look particularly pleased.
He just stood there, a little dazed.
Umamusume strength really is terrifying…
In truth, tonight’s victory hadn’t been won on technique alone.
No matter how sharp your skill, the gap in physical ability between humans and Umamusume was still there.
He could react faster than most, sure. But if an Umamusume swung at full power—he might keep up in speed, but there was no way he could block cleanly without paying for it.
Strength could crush technique. Kitahara had learned that lesson painfully well from Eclipse.
So once the sparring began tonight, he’d started doing what he’d done back when he’d ripped off that car door—trying to draw on that energy inside him, to borrow a portion of an Umamusume’s power.
With last time’s lesson in mind—and since this was just sparring—he didn’t choose Eclipse’s power again.
He chose the gentler option: Neicha’s power.
And this time, he didn’t dump it all at once. He tried to let it flow out, steady and continuous, like a stream.
In that mode, the boost wasn’t dramatic—maybe twenty to thirty percent of Neicha’s original strength—but for Kitahara, it was still a huge improvement. At the very least, it let him receive Rudolf and Sirius’s attacks cleanly with technique.
Otherwise, against the two of them together, he would still have won in the end… but there was no way it would have been this easy.
So it’s just like I thought. As long as I don’t use anything excessive, it won’t cause damage…
He quickly checked his body. Satisfied nothing was wrong, he looked at Rudolf and Sirius, who were more or less recovered.
“Uh… you two. Shouldn’t we go back and get some rest?”
It hadn’t hit him while he was caught up in the fight, but now that it was over, Kitahara realized it was already past midnight.
At the mention of going back, Rudolf and Sirius exchanged a glance.
Because of someone’s interruption, what was supposed to be a match between the two of them—to decide who Kitahara would stay with—had turned into both of them lying on the floor.
And with their current state, and the hour, there was no chance for a second duel.
“…Forget it. We’ll go to your room, Rudolf.”
Just as Rudolf was still thinking of a reasonable way to “get Kitahara over,” Sirius spoke up.
Then, before Rudolf could even react, Sirius added with a sour look,
“I can’t sleep in my room anyway. You kicked my door to pieces.”
“…My apologies,” Rudolf said.
She said the words, but her face didn’t show the slightest hint of regret.
Even so, though they’d decided on Rudolf’s room, Sirius had no intention of letting Rudolf have everything she wanted. Citing her broken door, she demanded to sleep in Rudolf’s room too.
If it were possible, Rudolf would have liked to refuse.
Unfortunately, Sirius had come prepared. She didn’t give Rudolf any room to argue—she locked it in immediately.
After that, since it was so late, the three of them headed straight to Rudolf’s room.
But because of the fighting, both Rudolf and Sirius were drenched in sweat and needed another shower.
Kitahara, on the other hand, had won fairly easily. And since he felt awkward about using Rudolf’s bath, he said he’d just crash on the sofa in his clothes for the night—no shower—and lay down right away.
Rudolf didn’t object. She turned and went into the bathroom.
Sirius had planned to wait until Rudolf finished, then take her own shower and go to sleep.
But as she watched Kitahara on the sofa—eyes drifting shut, utterly unguarded—something flickered through her gaze. Then she stepped forward, slowly walking toward him.
Kitahara was just about to fall asleep when he suddenly felt weight on him.
He opened his eyes—and found Sirius sitting on top of him. Both hands had his wrists pinned. She was smiling down at him, eyes half-mooned.
“…Sirius?”
Kitahara spoke cautiously.
“This is…?”
“Didn’t you say you’re the real-combat type?” Sirius smiled sweetly, giving his arms a little shake in her grip as if to show how firmly she had him.
“In a situation like this… can you still beat me?”
Honestly?
Yes.
She was holding his arms, not his hands. His palms were still free. He could pull something out of that almost-nonexistent system of his and drop her. If it came to it, he could even borrow Eclipse’s power.
But there was no need.
He’d already won all night. Sirius wasn’t some irredeemable enemy. Kitahara didn’t want to make a whole thing of it.
After a moment, he pretended to struggle a few times. When he “failed” to break free, he gave up and sighed helplessly.
“Doesn’t look like it.”
It was a cheap sneak attack, but hearing him say it still soothed Sirius a little after being beaten down all night.
“So you’re saying you lost?”
“Yeah.” Kitahara nodded without hesitation.
“So can you get off me now? I’m really kind of tired…”
“Nope.”
Sirius lowered her head slowly.
“You beat me up so happily in the dojo. Now it’s my turn for a little revenge…”
Wasn’t it you who kept insisting on fighting me?
Kitahara complained inwardly, but with Sirius’s face drawing closer and closer, he swallowed the words.
Whatever. Let her mess around. Rudolf would be out soon, and then it’d be her turn anyway…
With that thought, Kitahara sighed, closed his eyes, and chose to give up.
Sirius had only meant to tease him.
But as her face drew nearer, an inexplicable impulse began to stir inside her.
Normally, a whim like that wouldn’t make Sirius do anything.
The problem was, once she got close enough, Kitahara fully gave up—eyes closed, not even trying.
That single gesture lit a fuse in Sirius’s nerves.
The daytime irritability. Rudolf’s sudden mood shift. The Q&A on the way back. And then getting beaten down earlier…
After all that, she just wanted a tiny little joke—and this block of wood couldn’t even play along?
Who could stand that?
So, with everything piling on, the next instant—driven by that surge of impulse—Sirius lowered her head.
Kitahara sensed something and opened his eyes in surprise, but before he could make a sound, his mouth was sealed.
At the same moment, the water noise in the bathroom suddenly stopped. Then came the sound of someone—probably—drying their hair.
A few long seconds passed.
And at the exact moment the door handle turned, Sirius lifted her head.
She met Rudolf’s eyes as Rudolf stepped out into the silent night—and the taste of Kitahara was still vivid on her lips.
Crack—
The sound of a door handle being squeezed so hard it warped.
Then Rudolf’s voice rang out, ice-cold.
“Sirius. What are you doing?”
“Me?” Sirius sat astride Kitahara with one hand still covering his mouth, looking toward Rudolf with a playful tone.
“Just giving the loser a little punishment.”
She tilted her head, smiling.
“Is there a problem?”
—
T/N: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This is a fan translation of 人在特雷森，专职摆烂 by 多功能复读机 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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